Hey guys update. If anything is spelled horribly wrong excuse me as I am mentaly and phically drained. Anyways took my last hit at 7 last night of raw. Did not get high didn't feel shit except I was itchy and pupils were still pin point from earlier in the day. Around 10 I started having anxiety hot and cold flashes stomach felt sick but I figured no big deal I got my two 8mg suboxone for the morning so I take 2 klonopins and a clonodine. Didn't sleep good maybe 3 hours tops. Woke up at 6am back and shoulder muscles were tense as all hell. Felt sick as shit in my stomach and was hot and sweating. Get to the dr at 7 told him what I was feeling he told me to take half of one of the 8mg subs. Once it dissloved he told me to be back at noon.
Well about 10 minutes later muscles eased up sickness went away body temp felt normaln. With in 30 minutes later I felt a heroin like high and thought to myself yea I can deal with this. So I go and get my haircut and ran some errands. Well by about 10:30 I noticed the high feeling was gone and the sickness came back I was sweating and muscles hurt again. On the way back to the dr felt like I was gonna puke. Got there told him what happened. He told me its way to soon for me to have sub withdrawls and that the major effect of the sub was wearing off and I was feeling the herion withdrawls again. He told me to take the other half and come back at 5. Once again didn't feel dope sick and felt the high feeling again.
Met a friend for lunch but I couldn't eat much. Went to the mall to buy some jeans. At the mall the high effect once again faded and the stomach sickness came back big time and I was hot and sweating. Went home majorly sick. Smoked a cig and felt it. I had to puke. Ran upstairs puked in the bathroom. I was so hot and sweating I stripped down to just my underwear and layed. Well later I got cold. So cold I was shivering. Got dressed felt shaky and on my way back to the dr.
Told him everything from the good to the bad he said he expected it with doing
<no prices> worth of dope a day. He told me to take half of the remaining pill. He then wrote me a script for twelve 8mg suboxone. I'm to take 12mg a day. I can either split the doses like I did today or take a pill and a half at once. I'm to see him Monday he said its required of me to see him weekly and ill be on it for a while then later taper me down. Then I was sent to see my old addiction counselor Peggy from 2008 down the hall. I told her everything from how I was getting the money to do 100 dollars worth a day to when it started when it got bad to how I went to a detox clinic in the past to stop and used the day I got out. U get the picture I told her everything. She said I looked really strung out (my friend from lunch said the same thing...
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Anyways ill be seeing her twice a month while I'm taking suboxone. I was there for about an hour. So I go to rite aid they said it would be 30 minutes. I'm just looking around. The good effects of the sub wore off again and then the chills came felt shaky and sick as hell. I got my medicine and bought 2 gatoraides. Speeding home I felt so bad. Drank some gatoraid and my stomach couldn't handle it. Had to throw up. Sat down had a headache goosebumps. The chills then hot flashes I was sweating. Threw up again. Later went back and just dry heaved. Laid in bed at 8 and have not got up once. Its now 1:45am. My eyes keep wanting to close like I said I'm mentally and physically beat. My legs won't be still. Feels like I wanna run a marathon. Stomach still feels sick. Oh yea back to my eyes. I feel like I could so easily fall asleep for hours. I keep seeing double on the screen. But I can't go to sleep. Something weird happens when I close my eyes that I have not heard anybody talk about on here about herion withdrawls. Every time I close them I get these weird electric feeling shocks or electric fast jabs inside different parts of my body. It was freaking me out. Then I rememberd when I was in my early 20's I was on 40mg of paxil for 2 years. Well me being young and dumb stopped taking them cold turkey. I got the exact same feeling electric jabs or quick little jabs if u will inside my body. My doctor at the time said I need to ween off of them. So I started taking them and he kept lowering the dose until finally I was off of them. None the less this has me freaked out tonight. So I called Peggy the addiction counselor. She said basically the neurons in my brain have been so used to me feeding them herion and now its not getting any and my brain is pretty confused right now and is going crazy and doesn't know how to function with out it. She thinks that's where the electric zaps are coming from because of how much I was taking. I used all day long.
I'm still confused about the suboxone. I hear people say its a wonder pill for them. For me it is for a few hours. Then it seems like it wears off and I'm dope sick. Tonight is by far the worst I have expierenced. What really scares me is that I'm only on day one so I'm sure the worst is yet to come. Maybe the sub just needs to build up in my body. She also told me the old story of day 3 being the worst is a myth and that with the way I used I'm gonna feel like shit for about 3 weeks. I would take some klonopin right now for help but they both told me absolutely no benzos because I'm taking 12mg of suboxone a day. Do u think I could take another half of suboxone right now to make these electric zaps go away so I can sleep. I def don't want to abuse them I took the last half at 5 pm its now 2am. Any suggestions would be greatly appriecated.
Holy shit I'm so delirous from sleep deprevation I just saw how much I wrote. Sorry I didn't intend on making a novel about my fucked up day 1 of detox
If you actually read this and make it all the way down here a huge thank you for listening to me babble on. Or read I should say lol