Taking a break from the scene...

I am sure this has been dealt with before, on many an occasion, but unfortunately my only internet access is at work and i thought it prudent not to spend too much time at work on blulight searching the archives, so here goes. I guess I am looking for fellow blulighters' opinions more than anything else because deep down I know the answer.
I have built up quite a tolerance to ecstacy, so much so that no matter how much i take, i get very little of the magic. I know i should post and pre load to combat this but its something I have yet to really try as far as supplements are concerned, apart from trying to maintain a proper diet.
The real problem is that I am having so much fun with all my friends, both 'party' friends and genuine friends alike. I dont want to remove myself from the scene or from my friends, but i realise that the more i party with them, the harder it is for me to have a break. I realise that i am wasting my money and my brains for little, if any gain.
So my question is, what have others done to combat this kind of situation? Is it really just a matter of self discipline or is there more to it? At the end of the day, i dont think there is much more to it, but how do you stop or limit something that you dont want to?
P.L.U.R

Sometimes when I really want to go out and have a mad night, but don't really want to have any drugs, because I don't want to build up a tolerance, what I do is drink lots of those energy drinks like Red Bull and V, evan try some Vodka and RedBull shots, these can get you so pumped that you won't need to have any drugs and still have a mad time with your friends.

You got it in your last paragraph

Is it really just a matter of self discipline...
Yep, that sums it up. For example i always have a 4 week break between 'big' nights out. Have my vitamins every day, more so when i go out. I'm living proof this works, i got mashed for a couple of hours off a half a week or two ago. And thats after three years of partying and looking after myself. So lucky me it hasn't lost the magic yet. And hopefully i've got more years ahead in the scene.
A good idea could be to take a 3 month break. I know people on this board take long breaks to give their brains a rest. And taking a break doesn't mean taking a break from the scene or your friends. You've just gotta be strick...and get stuck into the booze.
[ 10 February 2003: Message edited by: black_eyed ]

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^^^^ exactly what I was about to say. Alcohol, you'll start to drink a lot more of it, guaranteed. Try to monitor it though...as most people I know who stop taking drugs usually become alcoholics. I drink a lot more now, but not half as much as I did when I was 16 so I guess that is alright.

Hmmm basically what everyone else has said. Going out and staying sober is rather easy too, just because you arent off the wall on drugs doesnt mean you cant have fun. Remember that bullshitting with your friend whilst they are mashed can be hilarious when you are sober, of course dont laugh at them, just with them *ahem*.
If it's your selfcontrol you are worried about, at the time when your friends are taking something and you get the urge, just think 'well at least I will have my brain/sanity/reasonablynormalseratonincycle in a few years'.
Then again I could just be a jaded old doofer.

After abstaining from the normal weekend festivities (on average about 6), I have to admit I am feeling a hell of a lot more healthier this week already. I have probably eaten and slept more in the last four days than the last four months. It was also a novel experience wandering around my normal destinations in somewhat of a different world to what I am normally in. I had actually forgotten what it was like to be pissed!!
Mind you the real test will be to see whether i can make it until May. Until then I will be the pissed mute instead of the crankin off tapper, but I am actually looking forward to the challenge.

I'm taking a break from the scene... because I am just plain bored of it. There's no clubs that play the style of music I really love and the pills don't work like they used to because I abused them. Money was never an issue for me and now I'm paying for it in non-monetary way. My digestive system is totally fucked and pills now make me very crook.
I'm still a bit of a pharm man, but it's more round the house and done a lot less often. I may go to Two Tribes with some friends, but that will be the last doof I'll go to for a long time I imagine.
Play it safe peeps.
(40 days and my testing kit still hasn't arrived)

Here is an idea that some of you will not like:
Go and see a drug councellor for a while and sort out why you abused pills. I did and it helped me change from drug abuse (pills every weekend) to drug use (1 pill occasionally). I made it clear to my counsellor when i started that i did not want to stop drugs, i just wanted to become functional with them, and stop them sending my life (and emotions) on a big roller coaster ride that never seemed to end. It was very hard work emotionally, and very painfull personally, but I feel 10 times better inside as a person now, and much more content with life, and *gasp* i can even have fun without drugs now!
The only problem now is that when i go to raves, (especially rave clubs) the majority of people there abuse drugs by taking them every weekend so they give off bad vibes as they spend most of the night talking,thinking,buying or selling drugs and not actually partying very much.
Where as I and my friends only take about 10 pills a year so i am smiling and grinning like an idiot, laughing like a madman with friends, and talking non stop, super friendly to everyone, and dance like nobody is watching, and i have the magik nearly everytime, but after a few hours if i stand back and actually analize the people around me in the rave (or rave club), about the half the people are not smiling, or laughing, or being friendly, or they dance competitively (the soulless melbourne shuffle) which is not good in my opinion.
But those people generally only last about 1 or 2 year in the rave scene and leave it to abuse a different drug like alcohol, or dope (doofers), or heroin (underground types), or coke (yuppies), or special K, or whatever. But it is a pity they fuck the vibe of the rave scene while they are in it. They are in the rave scene for the drugs. I am the rave scene because i love to party. Big difference. But I guess it is grey scale. Which side of the scales are you on?
[ 13 February 2003: Message edited by: Dr. Beat ]

^^^ Interesting angle.
I got into the scene because I just love the music, and I have for a long time. I can't imagine that those who don't have a deep-seated love for the music are having as good a time as I am, regardless of what they've eaten.
I disagree about the shuffle though - not everybody shuffles to compete. I can't do it, but I think it just looks great. It doesn't matter how you dance, but you can tell when somebody's putting their everything into the music, and when they're just trying to look trendy.
But I may be wrong.
[ 13 February 2003: Message edited by: Pseudo ]

I got into the scene because I loved the music and I love to party... real hard. From there, and over the past two years Ive made some of the best friends I ever had and had some of the biggest adventures.
Its not just the drugs or the love or rush. For me there is so much more to it than that, as there is for all you guys out there. I guess for me, its not a case of not eating bikkies on a saturday night, its almost a complete change of lifestyle.
I have to say though, there have been heaps of positive comments from fellow bluelighters out there, its really a wonderful feeling. I cant wait for my first one in three months time and the know deep down that I did have the self discipline and that I am sitting on my arse talking complete bullshit to the stranger next to me because of it.
PLUR

I got into electronic music due to the subtleties and emotions it evokes, so when you're altered these affects are just enhanced, but the true meaning of the music always remains. If you push the equilibrium too much I find you don't get the same pleasure, it's just a learning experience I suppose.

Got a solution thats working well for me, and will get me up to three months no worries, here goes.
Have your company send you overseas to work in a small middle japanese town surrounded by nothing but top quality beer and cheap whiskey. Get your boss to send over a couple older piss drinkers from the office and stick you all in dog box's of hotel rooms so you have a reason to get out and drink every single night. Works well, hell I even went to a System 6 show in Tokyo a couple weeks ago and didnt get on it, danced all night on beer. feral yes but fun none the less.
[ 14 February 2003: Message edited by: Jokerswild ]

I love a drink but these days I find I 'm ready for bed by like 1 am when I go out drinking
I reckon I'd rather go out straight if I wasn't gonna take any thing

Seriously, this is the easiest solution to being tempted.
"STOP HOOKING UP YOUR MATES."
The subsidised freebies are too hard a temptetion to resist.
Cheers
JoKeR

Unfortunately my break didnt last long, friday night proving my undoing. I came down real hard too, i actually had to hold back tears and had to stop myself a number of times from breaking down. However, I have since come to think of it as a blessing in disguise.
I hit it pretty hard. I did because I knew it would take a lot to get me charging, but the real reason I have since worked out, thanks in part to a message from Jokerswild, was that I was replacing reality with fantasy.
I love taking drugs, i love the scene and it is all too seductive. its what i call hollywood - the people are friendly, beautiful and its very easy to want to keep being a part of it. I also got tied up with someone whom i thought was special and we partied hard together and came down hard together. It happened over christmas and there had always been chemistry between us in the past. Unfortunately it seems now that it wasnt chemistry, but chemicals that kept us together.
Drugs for me became essential for a night out. Without gear, i couldnt possibly enjoy myself and thats a frightening reality, particularly for someone who would not have dreamt in a million years of having a problem. I used to read posts on bluelight about people only taking one of two pills once a month and think how could they possibly enjoy themselves. I know now that drugs should only be used to enhance reality and not replace it. I was (and possibly still am) using them to replace my reality and to escape with the person i was sharing these moments with. even more ridiculous was the fact that there was nothing wrong with my reality at all - it was just me thinking there was something wrong with it because i was constantly coming down.
I am sure I will slip up over the next few weeks, but at least i will have this post to remind me. Its good therapy in that respect. I still care very much about that special person and am frightened for her because she too realises that she is out of control, but wont do anything to try and ease up.
I now look forward to a real break and hopefully using drugs far more responsibly in the future. I will keep reading this post to make sure i dont forget about what ive said. I also hope that anyone out there who is in a similar position to me gets something out of it too.
I know it probably wont reach the one person whom i care so much about even now because she has pushed me out of her life. but if she ever reads this, i will still be there for her.
thanks bluelight and to all those bluelighters who have posted. it actually does make a difference.

Woop Woop
JoKeR

I must say i am impressed with your emotional honesty gOOgster, and it is refreshing to see someone honest with themself, and with others (us). I wish more people would be honest with them self in the pill scene. It is the only way forward. As soon as people stop growing emotionally, you become 'old'. That is the difference between young people and old people. Not physical age. I know many 30 year olds who are old (and not happy), and will never change the rest of their life, and i have have met a few 40 and 50 year olds who are young at heart ( and happy) and keep change emotionally.
Our society is to blame - we spend 99% of our time and energy on the Logical Growth, (cars, houses, work, getting to and from work, career, roads, clothes, cosmetics, buildings, stock market, consuming, restraunts, sport, gambling, war, ect), and only about 1% of our time and energy on Emotional Growth, so we have a very wealthy society (compared to the 3rd world, or 100 years ago), but we are emotional retarted as a society, and hence more and more young people are taking drugs (including alcohol) as an emotional band-aid.
Baby boomers have alot to answer for...