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Ecxtacy's effect on long term relationships

grabsex&bmx

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 14, 2002
Messages
29
For all those out there that are in well established relationships or marriage, how do you find that ecxtacy has effected the relationship ?
I have been with my fiance for around two years now, she's a great girl who I love dearly. We had done pills before we even met so we had an understanding of the scene and how things are but during the first part of our relationship we never did them together.As we started to hang out more we then started to pill together regularly and have lots of fun doing it as we became very close and talked lots and shared heaps.As time went on we found that the drugs that once brought us together were now starting to pull us apart.
We would go out and when we were pilling we would find that all we were doing is talking loads of crap to people that we didnt really even know that well just because we were feeling good and we had pretty well discovered all we had to about ourselves. Now we will go the whole entire night without even talking to each other which is pretty bad.Then we would always end up at someones house in a group situation so that we were forced not to be near each other because other people were around. By the time we are to crash then we are coming down and dont want to talk anyway.
I feel that drugs do have a significant negative effect on long term relationships, does anyone else have any experiences to share with us on this subject??
 
I have been going out with a great girl for almost 2 years. I love her a lot and we have a very trusting relationship. We have also been sharing drug experiences for a long time.
I find that the time before I drop ( about 2~3 hrs) I get very anxious about the night and everyones safety. I get worried that what I have got for her may be unsafe or not work (yes I do test). Any way this makes me very snappy and short tempered, and I find it better if we are seperated for a while.
Once we drop though everything is better, i settle down, and we enjoy the experience together.That night and the whole next day is great and reminds me how lucky I am to have her.
May be this is a normal reaction, but the up and down of emotions can be confusing to say the least.
 
Maybe you have a few options:
a. Spend more time together when on pills.
b. Have pills at home with nobody else around and enjoy them together.
c. Don't take pills when you go out and instead enjoy each others company.
d. Don't worry about spending time apart while on pills because you spend your other time together during the week or whatever.
e. Don't worry about being possessive of each other, or get jealous of spending time with other people, because at the end of the day - you come home together so that's what really matters?
BigTrancer :)
 
Ive found the opposite really. Ive been with my girl for 3 1/2 years now and I didnt really start rolling untill about 2 years into the relationship and she joined me about 6 months later. Now shes starting to get over the scene and the music and Ive been rolling without her but its just not the same. I walk around like a lost soul all night and I havent really had a decent roll without her even off decent pills. But then again that could just be me, Im not overly outgoing and prefer to be around close friends even when chopped but that didnt seem to effect me before she started coming out.
 
My boyfriend and I have been going out for a bit more than two years and we had both taken ecstacy before we met, but taking it togther was just so much better and are some of the best times ive ever had.
We’ve been through the 4 day comedowns from meth, watched our firend be dragged through our horrible legal system, being on the verge of what felt like OD’ing, a meth induced obsessive mess which lasted almost 3 months, we’ve been through a lot, and it’s made our relationship a lot stronger and it feels like we can deal with almost anything..
We get the anxiety thing to, but once we’ve dropped we’re fine. Ive never had a bad comedown with my boyfriend, the four days of meth comedown we watched danoz direct, drank a bottle of scotch and contemplated why the fuck we do this to ourselves :) when im coming down, all I can think about is how happy I am and lucky to be with someone like him. Ecstacy isn’t such a big part of our lives anymore, I think maybe we just grew up :)
 
Hey Bilston_Underscore:
We get the anxiety thing to, but once we’ve dropped we’re fine. Ive never had a bad comedown with my boyfriend, the four days of meth comedown we watched danoz direct, drank a bottle of scotch and contemplated why the fuck we do this to ourselves when im coming down, all I can think about is how happy I am and lucky to be with someone like him. Ecstacy isn’t such a big part of our lives anymore, I think maybe we just grew up
That pretty much sounds like my fiance and I. We've been together for a few years, engaged for 1.5 of those. We've had some motherf**king hard times and some brilliantly wonderful good times. Each experience made us stronger, and made us realise how much we love eachother. He's the only other person that i can be myself with, and feel totally comfortable on a comedown.
It didn't matter if we only spoke mono-syllabically all day...and even then 4-5 words at the most...they were always comfortable silences. We have this uncanny knack of knowing what eacother wants without the other person saying it, which was enhanced when in these states. It was wonderful.
We very rarely do stuff now, if we do, its either by ourselves (totally lush) or with a small group. It doesn't bother us if we aren't physically together the whole day/night, as we know that we are with eachother where it matters...in our heart and spirit. :)
Danoz direct!!! Love it!!! It tends to become hypnotic after awhile doesn't it!!!??
 
Thankyou guys for all of you who shared your experiences with me on this topic it has been a big help to understand where I can improve my relationship when pilling with my partner.
Your stories are very helpful !!
 
the only times I have ever rolled have been with my very recent ex. It just won't be the same without him, I'm actually not sure how long it will take for me to feel like I'd want to again! Especially since we haven't broekn up through wanting to, but more by necessity of distance and circumstances.
We'd got to the the stage where we'd found out all we could about eachother, but we were still comfortable just to sit there and hug, or dance together and just grin at one another. Or play with toys etc, give eachother little surprises. One of his fave things to do was to bring a surprise toy along and give it to me when I was peaking, or get me a strawberry and make me shut my eyes and open my mouth. None of this required talking, it was more about indulging one another because of our love. :) also very disgustingly lovey dovey ;) but isn't that what rolling is about?! Sometimes I just don't want to talk at all.
Then we also have the anxiety and/or the set and setting problem, which affects him, then in turn stops me having a good night. He'll get anxious, or if he's been in a bad mood, and once he gets like that he can't just turn a mood off like I can. So it ruins his roll, which in turn ruins mine. But only cos I'm worried about him.
So yeah, two sides to every coin!
 
we had pretty well discovered all we had to about ourselves.
I find this strange, because every time we do it, it always feels like I am discovering new things about my partner and our relationship (even if it isn't new things it still feels like it at the time!).
Where you do it is a big factor. If you always do it in the same environment it will start to get boring. For the first 4 years with my partner we only did it at raves, which was really good as we learned a lot about eachother on one level. But in the last two years we started doing it at home alone, and they have been some of the best moments of my life! Hubbahubba ;)
Also when you have a really good time, the next time you have the expectation it will be as good, but because you are expecting it, it won't be as good. Don't assume anything, and vary where you do it. And don't do it too regularly so when you do it feels more special and you look forward to it more. It feels like a special treat that you both get to share!
Perhaps it isn't actually the drugs, but rather you are growing apart, and this is magnified when you take pills because you can feel that old intimacy isn't there. When you're not on it you can ignore that lack of intimacy, but it is enhanced by e.
 
Right on *chaoscat*.
But the way I see it is, drugs that bring you closer to your lover/partner can be a wonderful thing, as long as there isnt a dependance attached, and im in no way talking about addiction. If you spend a large amount of your time with your partner, and do drugs with them on occasions, this can highten the possibility of a barrier coming between you both.
If you both pop a pill on a friday and decide to stay in for the evening, all those emotions and feelings that are experienced by the two of you when in a euphoric state cannot be replicated with that insensity, and this can, over time, begin to be a problem.
Be sure about what you want from somebody, and be in touch with yourself before making drugs a small recreation with your partner. I have seen it happen before, and its a very isolating thing.
 
I think it depends upon the person you are with and the stage you are in of your life.
I was with my ex-bf for 3 years and we started taking pills at the same time, at first it was really good, it was a new experience to share and getting in to the scene as well brought us much closer together, which at the time we needed because we were drifting apart.
So we went out hard for over a year, religiously, and i guess that became all we did together, he was like more like my going out buddy than a bf, if we weren't out together we were fighting, and thats when i realised we weren't really happy.
I'd say i see ecstasy as openening a new world of possibilities and i guess i got to understand myself in a new way, and i realised i didn't love him, we had nothing in common, and we weren't actually making eachother unhappy. I dont blame ecstasy, i'm glad because it changed us both in different ways and allowed me understand myself in a way i never had before.
It was definately a good thing, i still see him out and about(perth being so small) and we're on good terms, and both definately heaps happier than we were.
Things with my bf now are totally different, we'd both taken pills for a few years before we met so we had the whole scene thing in common, actually funny enough we met while we were out! :) But anyway In the beginning we went out quite a bit and i feel pills helped us get to know eachother quicker than we otherwise would.
Anyway, we live together now, being a little jaded we don't go out much anymore, but when we do its always a really good experience to bond and have big talks about how we're feeling etc, i think thats important, and ecstasy is definately a good means for communication.
But its not important to our relationship, we go out and take pills and have a good time but we also do heaps of other things together as well. I think thats the important thing, to have a balance, and moderation, and essentially to know what is really important to you.
 
I had been going out with my girlfriend for about a year when I first decided to take ecstasy. She has always been fairly antidrugs, and this was really her first exposure to it. For the first month or so it didn't worry her too much, and would even come along for the ride occasionally. Eventually though, after a coupla nasty comedowns (I wasn't mean to her, just avoided her) she began to associate drugs with time spent away from me. She was also concerned for my safety. Eventually it got to the point where she didn't want to know anything about it, and would resign herself to the fact that she wouldn't see me for 3 or so days. About a year after taking my first pill, and only dropping on average once a month, the relationship ended, with drugs being one of couple of contributing factors. It sorta sucks, especially if I think that I threw away a great relationship for them, but then again I think of the great times I've had doing em, and the feelings I've felt, and I can't help but feel sorry for her in that she'll never be able to experience them. Anyway, I'm sort of biased against drugs in relationships.
 
Hi peeps.
I have been with my current girlfriend for 6 months, and she is the most amazing person on the planet (DERR!!).
I started taking E's mid last year. My girlfriend does not take any drugs, and does not necesarilly like them. She does worry a lot about me taking them, but she also understands that of all the people she knows that does it, i am also the most responsible, and make sure I am very careful (testing, moderation etc etc).
For those of you that know me, i am also an elite sportsperson, and my girlfriend is also my manager. So, that is another avenue to cause worry for her.
BUT, having said that, we still go clubbing together, and we have a pretty damn good time. I usually roll hard, dance the night away with her, and talk so openly to her and she sits there smiling the whole time because we both enjoy the company of each other.
Granted this is not a long-term relationship as yet. So, has rolling affected our relationship... I would say... no... it has had a nuetral effect... in that while my girlfriend worries about me, we also have a great time out clubbing, which kinda makes up for the worry.
my 0.02c
Cheers
Pendulum
 
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