light shows vs. heart to heart discussions.

when my boyfriend and i first started rolling we were all about the intimate discussions and feeling all lovey and open.

then. he discovered. lights. gah.

basically, now we can't roll without him being like "let me get my lights" "i want a lightshow" blah blah.

to be fair, he's given lightshows but never received a good one. it's always like either he's not rolling hard enough to enjoy or the giver is really bad at it, just flailing the lights around like an idiot.

I do NOT like the lightshow aspect and "TR1PP3N BAWLZZ" sense of ecstasy. I like the feeling of closeness and "together as one" aspect of rolling together, but ever since he got into lights we havent talked while rolling at all. he just sits there basking in his need for trying out the lights.

he says that if he HAD an experience with lights, a good one, it would take away the mystery and then he wouldnt be so obsessive. And he'd actually be able to get them off his mind and have another "heart to heart" with me.



My question is this: Once you get into lights, can you ever go back to just having a "lets sit and talk and just FEEL for 3 hours" experience again? Or is it like "once you go black you never go back"? (black being replaced with tripping out on lightshows)

comments?
do you ever switch off between having a "trip out" night and a nice evening with the people closest to you? or is it all raving all the time.. ?

Yes, I used to be obsessive with light shows when i rolled always giving/getting light shows. After a while I just stoped playing with them so much, it took a total break from e though to remove my intrest from it. I think having him take a break from e for a while then going back to it might help? Just my little tidbits.

The only time I see light shows are at raves, but I don't spend my entire roll watching light shows I'd be kind pointless to me haha. I usually dance and meet new people.

I save the deep conversations for when I roll with certain friends in a private setting, like my house, or at a friends.

yeah. that's what i mean though. we don't rave. never been to one. all of our rolls are in private settings. he just wants the entire roll in our private setting to involve light shows.

I'm just worried that if I say "okay lets test out your theory" then he'll get even more sucked in to ONLY doing light shows all the time.

And as far as taking a break? we only roll once every few months, maybe twice a year. we used to do it a lot but because of this lightshow obsession he has it makes me just not want to roll anymore at all. I wish I could get into the lightshow thing (kind of but not really), but it just seems like a waste of a roll to me.

Find a common ground for both of you... In my opinion just sitting down in a calm setting and talking for the entire high is a waste of pills just as sitting and only giving/receiving lightshows would be pretty pointless as well... If you two roll a few times a year then one time go to a party and let him enjoy his roll with all the lights and a heart to heart conversation here and there, then the next time do it in a calm setting were you two can talk and maybe one or two lightshows will be involved. Accept that he loves lights and that is what's really going to set him off when he's high.. and he needs to accept that you like sitting and talking when you're high. Also talk to him about this.. and let him know how you feel..... Good luck.

Oh.. and if you really want to blow his socks off... learn how to give a good lightshow and surprise him one time when you two are high... I can guarantee you that he'll melt in your hand

alright we'll try. thanks.

he is bored with you and right now the lights seem more interestin...

yeah that's what i thought.