View Full Version : GBL Withdrawal

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05-08-2007, 16:12
Okay so I think I may have Metabolic acidosis. I seem to have all the physical signs. Is it possible to use pH papers or something else like that to do a home test as I can do it now without waiting for a doctors appointment and then a blood test, then another doctors appointment. If so I'll just take some of my own blood, how much would I need?

G seems to cancel the feelings for about an hour or 2 max. I look like complete shit and feel like it too, my skin has gone a yellowy/grey colour and there are very dark spots under my eyes.

I have been eating pretty well, but none of my food is being metabolised or digested properly. I can eat a meal, and have to spew it up about 5 hours later totally undigested. I haven't had a shit besides gas and maybe a very minute amount of liquid shit for over a week now. And strong laxatives didn't help it. They just made me fart for like 5 minutes when trying to shit. It feels like there is a very big compacted shit in my colon and it feels like I am not absorbing any nutrients or vitamins, but why does G, alcohol and opiates still get absorbed quickly?

I also have ulcerative colitis but don't really take my medecine for it near as much as I should.

05-08-2007, 16:47
It may be that your UC is acting up- I'd see your GP. Yellow grey is never a good colour for people, and you should probably have your liver and renal function tested. Metabolic acidosis is usually a secondary condition caused by other problems.
The fact that your symptoms are transiently relieved by G suggests to me that you might have a dependence issue on that front too.
All in all, sounds as if you're overdue for a tune-up, Splatt!

05-08-2007, 19:18
Yeah, about 6 months ago my liver and kidney and blood all tested fine, but I guess this is the only way.. Just had a stupid thought at the time I could somehow self diagnose, because I remember my doctor going on about how much the government pays for me to get free blood testing etc.

06-08-2007, 00:07
I want to. I definitely do. But without alcohol I find this near impossible. I have severe insomnia and general anxiety and no doctor wants to give me anti-anxiety meds that actually work.

I've been addicted to benzos for a few months before, I can handle the withdrawal if tapering, but I need benzos to get me off the GABA related drugs. The only shit they want to give me is SSRIs (which actually cause me anxiety and insomnia even worse, and heart and breathing problems) or TCA's or SSNRIs (both give me severe dry mouth and weird skin rashes) and they all have really bad effects on my body and mind. So when I explain this to them they just say its my diet and lifestyle doing it to me. I've changed my dciet and lifestyle over the years but to no avail, even went to see a dietician to improve my general physical and mental health but to no avail.

I really feel like I am extremely ill at the moment, I still haven't had a crap, only gas comes out and the same feeling of a blocked bowel when I tried just then. I am booking an appointment today and hoping I can be seen today if I say it's pretty important. I can't really goto hospital because I will have to explain my whole situation and my family knows the nursing staff well there and word gets around way too easily. It is common practise for the staff to tell even the most mundane stories of whats happened lately at the hospital after a few drinks, let alone stories related to me.

I think if this isn't sorted out very soon I am going to die. I am waiting for the doctors to open and trying about ten different practises to see if I can get in today. My whole body aches and my heart is going very fast like I am on a toxic stimulant and my vision is crazilly fuzzy.

06-08-2007, 01:08
Go to a chemist and get some urinalsis strips. Looks for the PH of you urine, any bilirubin ( metabloite from liver) and specific gravity of urine any thing under 1.0025 would be a worry. Also Blood or really anything. What makes you think acidosis?? i'd think off four other before i would even think of that? i won't say cause it'll worry you more.

If your that worried about about going to hospital, just remember that they are suppose sign confidential papers when they were employed and they can lose there jobs for blabbing.

Remember this is a harm minimisation website. hope you alright Ted

06-08-2007, 02:14
Constant G abuse for the last month. The stuff I've been getting access to is some sort of weird impure GBL. I was addicted the day I bought this batch and have to keep buying it just to feel normal. It is much worse than any other GBL, 14B or GHB i have tried. The comedown effects MAKE you have another dose. I've been doing this 24/7 for a month now, but I've rang the guy up and said don't sell me any more, don't ring me, and I've deleted his number from my phone and cleared my phone logs. I have enough left to last me 2 more days to taper off, but tapering with this stuff just doesn't seem to work. If i have low doses 1.3-2ml it just seems to not last long at all, maybe an hour tops before I get the w/d effects and the unique comedoiwn effectsa of this crap (I normally have 2.5ml starters, then wait half an hour and have a ml more). The stuff seems as potent as GBL should be, but just has different effects and definitely contains impurites, I really should be distilling it or converting it but I don't want to be caught with GHB and chemistry shit. I also have access to no other stuff at this time, unless I want to pay stupid amounts for watered down 1,4B that you need 5ml starters of to feel the effects of around 3 grams of GHB (which is a pretty low dose to me), and I can't afford that. Acidosis is apparently a side effect of GBL addiction.

06-08-2007, 09:57
I got weighed today and my shape hasnt changed or I havent appeared to gain weight in the last 2 weeks, buit I did weigh myself around 2 weeks ago, and guess what, I've got 25kg of shit in me! Got some Movicol to see if I can get it out of me, but it's not down the bottom of my intestines. Probably have to get another colonoscopy too, great fun.

06-08-2007, 11:37
You look after yourself, Splatt- you do a great job here, and Bluelight needs good moderators. PM me if you need to. There's a saying in medicine to effect that a doctor that treats himself has a fool for a patient...

06-08-2007, 14:02
Thanks for the support guys. I want to try and use Phenibut to get off the GABAs. I wish sources were allowed for this type of thing, which is harm reduction, as it doesn't seem to be available in bulk form in Australia, only in a capsule product mixed with a bunch of other things, including a piracetam analogue, GABA and 5-HTP.

06-08-2007, 17:18
hey hey.... glad i found this thread.. I was feelin crap last week and my mate suggested my ph was fukd up.I googled it and also had all symptoms.. almost instsnt releir can be gained by haivd a tea spoon of baking soda in warm water.. four times daily. you will feel better really quik. Cut out cofffe and processed foods and eat bananas like crazy.... Google will help lots! Message me if you want more help.

06-08-2007, 17:21
hey.. gotta post again.... The medical profession wont give you much help
1.. yur a drug user
2... the acidic alkaline body is not well recognised and slightly frowned upon..
Please pm me if you need more advice
google the shit out of realknising your body

I have pmed you x x

07-08-2007, 16:33
I hope you've gone and seen a doctor mate and you get yourself sorted :)

09-08-2007, 10:00
Doctor doesn't want to help me, pretty much ignored the problem. Even though I felt like I was going to die they simply said "your blood pressure and heart rate seems fine" without even touching more than my stomach.... and booked me an appointment for a colonoscopy for my U.C.

Looks like I'll be fixing this myself with alcohol, G and illegal benzos... the anxiety and jitters and the horrible physical and mental problems are way too extreme to ignore.

09-08-2007, 11:09
Any half -reasonable doctor will treat dependence as an issue, if you explain that you are dependant. If yours does'nt want to treat it, go to another one!I know it can be daunting to go to a doc and admit you have a problem, but sometimes it needs to be done, IMHO

lil angel15
09-08-2007, 11:31
Doctor doesn't want to help me, pretty much ignored the problem. Even though I felt like I was going to die they simply said "your blood pressure and heart rate seems fine" without even touching more than my stomach.... and booked me an appointment for a colonoscopy for my U.C.

Looks like I'll be fixing this myself with alcohol, G and illegal benzos... the anxiety and jitters and the horrible physical and mental problems are way too extreme to ignore.

Self medicating is probably not the best idea in a situation like this Splatt. It would be best to get to the bottom of these issues rather than covering the symptoms with a temporary fix. Although the use of alcohol, G - hopefully not together - and other substances may make you feel better for a short period of time, they could simply be compounding your current problems. This in turn could make it harder to treat in the future.

As bustabraincell has said, It may be an idea to get a second opinion. If you haven't already, I would suggest being totally honest with your doctor so they can make an accurate diagnosis.

Best of luck.

09-08-2007, 11:38
I think with the use of benzos for a few weeks I can taper off. Until I only need a benzo once or twice a week and then totally stop, I will try using 2-4 grams of Phenibut though.

Short term (3-6 month daily) benzo abuse/addiction is _nothing_ compared to G addiction of the same rate. Having done both. I don't mix G together, but after the effects wear off I do have a fair bit of wine (1-2 bottles), this doesn't make me sleep or pass out ever, it's like G comedown plus alcohol keeps me awake and feeling shitty all night. I am only drinking to stop the withdrawals for an hour or two so I'm not on G 24/7. However I don't think ANYONE should do this as it can be very dangerous.

I am going to get a second opinion with full blood tests to see what is going on.

09-08-2007, 12:46
Splatt, what you describe sounds to me like normal GHB/GBL/1,4B addiction. A bit more than a year ago, I got addicted to GHB. It did not matter if it was GHB, GBL, or 1,4B. Its all the same: the point is that I had to dose every 2 hours for a couple of months, or else I would go into indescribable agony.

I'd take my dose, fall asleep, then JOLTED into waking up 2 hours later, all sweaty, shaking, in pain and panic, until I redosed. Repeat for about 2 months.

I have experienced Benzo, Heroin, Amphetamine, and GHB withdrawals. The latter is FAR FAR FAR WORSE than ALL THE OTHER THREE COMBINED.

I do not understand why so many people downplay GHB addiction. In my experience, it is THE most distructive addiction so far.

Splatt my friend, there is a strong argument that GBL does indeed cause acidosis. I *urge* you to not buy anymore G, and taper with what you have. From there, use alcohol and benzos - the worst should be over in three days, but don't expect to fully recover untill much later. I'm sorry to be blunt, but this has proven true to me: expect an additional week of emotional agony after the physical withdrawal is over for each day you continue with the G. Its been like, what, 20 months since I last used? And yet I STILL feel the emotional effects of the G withdrawal.

While I have not tried this, if you do a search on here, you'll find people who say that a high medicinal dose of anticholinergics helps immensely. Try taking two or three diphenhydramines or a scopolamine patch and see how that helps with the withdrawal. It makes sense since there is a theory that GHB has strong cholinergic action.

I also haven't tried this at the time since I didn't have a supply, but I'm willing to bet that small doses of K would help with both the withdrawal pain and the cravings, although keep to small doses and use only with the benzos and diphenhydramine (I don't think using it by itself would be beneficial). K has helped me with the three other withdrawals I had.

I'm so sorry to hear you are in this horrific place. I have been there, and would not wish it for my worst enemy :(.

09-08-2007, 12:52
Thanks for the support. Half of me hates the fact I can never do G again without abusing it, which also means I won't ever do any stimulant, cos i need g for the comedown.... I agree G is the most destructive addiction I have ever experienced.

I made a few calls and I can get some clonazepam and maybe valium. This will help me w/d for a few days.

09-08-2007, 15:48
'Splatt my friend, there is a strong argument that GBL does indeed cause acidosis. I *urge* you to not buy anymore G, and taper with what you have. From there, use alcohol and benzos - the worst should be over in three days, but don't expect to fully recover untill much later. I'm sorry to be blunt, but this has proven true to me: expect an additional week of emotional agony after the physical withdrawal is over for each day you continue with the G. Its been like, what, 20 months since I last used? And yet I STILL feel the emotional effects of the G withdrawal.'

I fully agree with this, (not sure about the acidosis, but I had been for several monthes been getting aching muscles, usually on my right leg and left back) but it does linger, I am so wary of even being near any G cos I reckon it would only take one dose to hook me again. Hang in there mate, I found exersise helped a lot, walking the dog, even though my mind wasn't with it, actually felt that it didn't matter where I was, or what i was doing, but alcohol helped. It will end.

09-08-2007, 15:58
holy shit dude :( more chemicals are not going to help you. no kidding, you need to get to the ER if a regular GP won't help you. what you have described it FAR FROM healthy and shouldnt continue in the manner that it is. depressing your central nervous system - and by extension your metabolism - any more will only make you worse off :( :(

09-08-2007, 16:30
BTW, I also found valerian caps a great help in reiving symptoms, and to help me sleep, in fact they were my good friends...8(

09-08-2007, 16:57
valerian never did anything to me. When mixed with alcohol it would let me sleep. (as alcohol gives me a wide awake rebound all night after the pass out hour).. but only in large amounts.. Like 6 tablets, and I couldn't wake up in the morning to save my life, because I would just feel groggy.

10-08-2007, 01:51
baking soda baking soda baking soda....... alchol is acidic as fuk.... hit the benzos to relive pain.... acidodis is painful! and makes you moody as fuk!

10-08-2007, 02:05
dude... i'm sorry you're going thru this.

I've been using g for years now, and have never experienced withdrawal beyond a day of hangover like symptoms.

I guess the taste of it is what puts me off daily use.. but i use it every few days. (as you know)

For arguments sake, things i've read also suggest GBL is more addictive than 1,4-b or GHB. From my experience, the w/d symptoms i've experienced in the past were from GBL and not 1,4-b or GHB. And usually it occured after 4 or more days of GBL abuse - constant 2-3hr re-dosing. Seriously man - just take a breather for a week - with aid from benzos if need be. I've been telling you this for some time - or fucking distill and convert that GBL to GHB - So it's not taking such a toll on your body to do the conversion for you. I know the toxic feeling you're experiencing.

I began feeling ill last night and confused it with w/d symptoms because i had been dosing all day. just before i re-dosed i threw up, and soon realized it was most likely a flu. Today im wheezy etc. Good thing i didnt redose.

Best of luck mate, and i'll be seein ya next week :)

10-08-2007, 06:30
Yeah well I'm using whats left of my doxepin to withdrawal and going to get some dramamine. Say no to G! :p
Drinking bicarb soda too. I think when I posted this thread originally I was goingt thru a pretty bad flu or problems that has gotten better, and the G was just masking that so I felt okay.

10-08-2007, 19:07
Say no to G!

Nice to hear you finally say it Splatt ;)

Go easy on the bicarb though. While I've seen several grams consumed at one time, prolonged or excessive use can cause sodium retention which can lead to associated problems.

11-08-2007, 01:02
Well the doxepin worked and so did the clonidine I had (for Post-G-binge hypertension.. not the safest combo but it worked).. Also drank a lot of wine (nearly 2 bottles. which is not a good mix with clonidine so dont recommend this) last night so i wasn't craving GABAs... note i did not get drunk once. my vision was blurry and some speech was slurred but i never felt any real drunkedness, not even that nice tipsy feeling off the first 2 wines...

I used doxylamine (75mg) to goto sleep for more than an hour or 2 (something I haven't done in a month..) and this anti histamine seemed to stop withdrawal effects and getting sleep although I needed 3 tablets.

Apparently though I haven't hit the worst to come yet according to G addiction/withdrawal effects. We'll see how that goes then eh... I've always got a few emergency doses left I just have to only use them when really needed, not when I crave.

Bananas seemed to help last night! Thanks to onemorehit for that idea.

11-08-2007, 01:11
p_d how serious do you think his say no to g comment was lol

12-08-2007, 10:18
Doxylamine is also anti-cholinergic, so that seems to support the on-going idea that anticholinergics help with GHB withdrawal.

In my experience, GHB withdrawal is not like Opiates or Benzos, more like stimulants, in that things get easier and easier rather than "hump" on X days after last dose then get less intense again.

12-08-2007, 11:41
Alcohol doesn't help. I have a ferw doses left incase of emergency. Last night I used doxylamine to sleep and it was horrid. I didn't sleep I just had physicaly delusional nightmares all night. like I was thinking I was in a different place of my house or yard, or lying on the street, but couldnt move, and couldn't yell.. Sleep paralysis, but it even happened when lying on my side in the fetal position. This happened every minute for about an hour so I gave up and had a KO dose. and woke up in the morning feeling really bad.

I had a dose to even things out and have been withdrawing again now for about 10 hours? The migranes are killing me, the high blood pressure, the ticks and muscle tremors have kind of stopped a bit after taking clonidine, but they will return no doubt, at least the blood pressure will.

Alcohol doesn't help for more than half an hour. I hate the dry mouth of dramamine or doxylamine (drinking 2 litres of water still makes my mouth dry as hell like ive been on uppers for days), and don't want to take it again after what I experienced last night. My vision is extremely fuzzy and I feel dizzy. and all my joints ache like hell which I'm taking glucosamine, fish oil and salazopyron for. I'm slow and anti social because all I want to do is pretty much find a way out of allk these physical side effects, and concentrating on talking and doing things seems impossible. Hope it gets better tomorrow.. Hope I don't have to dig into the limited emergency stash.

12-08-2007, 11:42
Hey if this fits Dark side more now feel free to push it there.

Im seeing a doctor tomorrow btw.
If he doesn't help then I can (hopefully!) get benzos on Tuesday off someone else.

12-08-2007, 11:50
*cough* You're still a hyper-condriact. Do as i've instructed you twat!!! Was all good til you had another a dose - when i was speaking to you earlier!

12-08-2007, 12:06
It wasn't all good at all. But yeah I did delay the withdrawal process, but I felt like I was in a constent seizure state, and seriously high blood pressure, which I don't have at all by nature. Theres only so much I can ignore man. I'm seeing a doctor tomorrow as I know I can w/d with the help of benzos, without getting addicted to those. If i can get a pack of 20 x 5mg valiums, or some low dose clonazepams, take a bunch them when I first get them for the most serious w/d effects and then taper off over about 4-5 days, easy done.

The migranes don't help either bro. And pinds and needles seem to be a very common occurance, like normal ones but much more numb, happens mostly on my left hand.

13-08-2007, 09:22
Thread renamed and moved to TDS. You may get some more advice from the broader BL community here. :)

Good luck

13-08-2007, 11:24
Doctor gave me Cipramil and Stilnox to aid in sleep.
W/Ds seemed to get harder today. Much more twiches, anxiety and shakes and general uneasyness.. Some halucinations and very weird eye and skin feelings. Its been 30 hours since last dose.

I don't think Cipramil is a good choice, but I'll be taking the Stilnox for sleep, hoping I don't sleep walk or something :)

13-08-2007, 14:23
^ It's gonna take a while. How long is a moot point, depends on to many variables I reckon. There is a potential for anxiety attacks (anecdotal reports) particularly if you start fucking with psychedelics (including potent weed) before your brain chemistry is realigned. How do you tell when this has happened ? I dunno :) I guess that you'll be sleeping properly and be bright breezy 'n' cheerful. then you can get back to getting wrecked;)

13-08-2007, 15:44
Don't really wanna trip, do pills, or do stims for a while. G was my last druglove left, and the stilnox(ambien) just woke me up! I wanna do G recreationally in the futurue I guess but atm I'm just trying to get my hands on benzos so I can live thru the week.

13-08-2007, 18:01
^Low dose benzos are a practical short term solution. However seeing as you have already become addicted thinking you can use recreationally seems a risky strategy.

13-08-2007, 19:34
Splatt it sounds to me like you may need a medicaly asisted detox. Have you thought about a short stay in rehab they can help get you the benzos and stuff and are more knowledgable about addiction than a primary care doctor.

14-08-2007, 04:02
Benzo addiction is nothing that bad for me. I went off it with a few days tapering and I was fine. As long as I can get benzos I'm good. May be able to get some tomorrow too. They should help a lot. Benzos I take twice a day max, but the after effects of valium normally last well into the next day for me, especially true when clonazepam was used as well. So benzos are only needed at night. I've felt anxiety from 3 or 4 month+ long benzo binge but when I was running out I just took the absolute minimums (half tablets etc.) to avoid physical w/d. With G there is no tapering.

The Stilnox/Ambien I had last night helped, but i had 20mg to sleep and maybe the after effects are masking the panic and anxiety, just it hasnt crept up on me yet.

18-08-2007, 10:02
^ Jesus dude, scary stuff. Hang in there, sounds like a real nightmare...

18-08-2007, 14:00
Best of luck splatt. Hope it's all going well.

21-08-2007, 00:46
I'm finally out of my gbl / suboxone fatigue. I have been sleeping well.

campral 2 333mg at night, pregabalin 600mg-2400mg during the day and poppy pod tea sometimes.

I feel great and finally can do stuff again.

25-08-2007, 14:29
Benzos when needed are doing opkay but running low.. No idea what it will be like when I run out of those. Phenibut and a bit of alcohol definitely feels a lot like the after effects of a mini-coma dose, but without the full dopamind rebound feeling. It has helped me sleep better than I was. Dont know if Vinpocetin and 5-HTP has anything to do with it though.

So I would say tapering doses and the use of benzos and ambien on some nights, especially right at the beginning of the major withdrawal days has helped. I mean I was having 4ml doses to even feel anything first in the morning, sometimes 6mls within about 15 minutes if I used 3ml of GBL throughout the night to get back to sleep for an hour and a half. Sometimes after the morning "blow out" dose I wouldn't even be able to blow out (aus term for g sleep) dosing amounts like 6ml at a time, which might kill a newbie? or at least force them to sleep after doing psychotic shit and biting the hell out of their tongue for a few hours and waking up feeling like shit.

The only problem at the moment is it is like I have dehydrated myself for too long, no amount of water will make me feel hydratyed.

25-08-2007, 14:37
It IS a living nightmare, dooofus. I still don't understand why GHB withdrawal is not widely recognized.

Splatt, it actually sounds like you may have taken way too much doxylamine. Do you remember your dose before that experience?

Anyway, keep at it... it should be over soon. All the symptoms, including delerium and dry mouth, are typical symptoms.

I will tell you this though: one year after I stopped GHB, I had a single dose. I went right back into withdrawal. I do not recommend you ever use it again.

26-08-2007, 17:54
Hmmmm thanks for the warning.. Sad cos I did love G. Fireplay and sex is great on it... and just that early morning empoty stomach relaxation... mmmm.. bye G :(

30-08-2007, 19:20
I recognize all the isues you've got.
I just got off ghb addiction 3 weeks ago, and it was really scary.
I kicked off 3 times before and it seems like every time it gets harder and harder. I was awake for seven days, trying to get myself to sleep by taking 10 to 20ml at sometimes and i couldnt get a minute of rest. My body was shaking from the inside and i was starting to feel really psychotic..Allthough everbody around me didnt really see anything on me..i felt really worse..at day seven i started to hallucinate as a motherfucker, everytime i closed my eyes i had clear visuals and heared music..after 8hours of halucinating and thinking "relax, it will be over soon, i WILL fall a sleep at sometime (i was off ghb for 2 days at this time) I really started to panic, i had an anxiety attack and hyperventilated...and then i woke up at the hospital all fucked up and didnt understand what happened..

My father was next to me, and told me i had a epileptic attack..my tongue was all thick becaus i bited at it and he told me he thought i was dieing because i stopped breathing and halfchoking...

Thank god, i was at my dad's house when all of this happened..

I went to my dad after day 5 of not sleeping and told him everything (my ghb addiction of the last weeks) and from then off i quit usingghb and 2 days later all of this happened..

In the hospital they kept me for 2 days, giving me haldol and valium..
They gave me anough valium for one week (well.. they gave it to my father, so i wouldt abuse it)..Im now 2 weeks off everything. Still have trouble to fall asleep and to keep my sleep but every day it gets better.

Im getting physical help..becaus of anxiety problems (allthough my anxiety problems seem to tapper of to) and im going to the gym 3 times a week (something i havent done for 12 years or something)..

Im"sort-of glad to read your stories here bacaus i thought i was alone in this..couldnt believe someone else would go this far with ghb abuse..taking it every 2 hours just to feel a bit normal..It really is a vicious circle, you can't sleep without and you cannot operat normally without, so its really hard to stop when ghb has you...especially when you've got a job or you just dont want to let anyone know you became addicted..withdrawl of ghb is not something you can do at once..it takes time.

I don't know what you are stil using at this time, but you have to quit everything, get phycical help..
If you search online you'll find enough websites that say you cant get of ghb at your own, it has to be in a hospitalsetting because withdrawl of ghb can lead to death...

30-08-2007, 22:42
My heart goes to anyone going through G withdrawals, I wouldn't wish that upon no one, not even mr. president Bush himself.

You'll have to tough it out. It'll last sometime, but hopefully in a couple weeks or a month you'll be back to baseline. Which can be a bitch, since you will just have gone through a traumatic experience AND still have all the underlying issues that made you resort to G as an escape.

From then on, it's up to you.

MY battle ended after years, thanks to a year and a half long psychoanalysis therapy, to work through what the fuck was wrong with me that I kept doing things that I knew would end up badly. I haven't touched G in 2 years now. Had people doing it in front of me, and nada. The idea disgusts me now, plus, people on G is just fucking annoying. I can do other drugs if I like, once in a fucking blue moon, but I don't think I could ever use G again. I don't know how it would affect me if I tried a dose now. I don't think I would get addicted again, but I'm not taking that chance. Whoever went through the withdrawal process, knows what I'm talking about.

Forget about G, move on, face the underlying issues. I'm sure you'll be alright.

01-09-2007, 13:41
Hey Splatt... please update us, my friend. I am hoping to hear good news....

02-09-2007, 17:45
Well I'm off the shit. I have urges.. but Im not giving in. I am using some dodgey benzos http://img442.imageshack.us/img442/9136/newval5ez2.jpg which are apparently singapore 5mg valium but they sure as hell dont feel like it and give you a dry mouth and taste.. out of date.. lol.. and real 5mg valiums when I can source them off a friend. And drinking...

Ill probably just go back to drinking every night which is sad. I am using 5-HTP aand Vinpocetine and L-theaine to stop needing any of it, and phenibut.. but phenibut seems weird... sometimes it helps sometimes doesnt.. I just took 300mg L-theaine, 3 grams of GABA under the tongue for 10 minutes, and about to take 8 grams of Phenibut to see if this puppy knocks me out.. I've tried doses of 5 grams or so and it did, but I mixed with my last dose of G which... yeah was a pretty fucking messy experience and was also on the comedown of 15mg MDPV (used for work)