Here is some info on that glaucine stuff I had been talking about from eBay when taken by itself at the 425mg dose a couple of hours before any hydrocodone or benzo and general effects at lower levels -
At doses of 100-300mg it has a pleasant, opiate-like effect and is really nice with hydrocodone. It definitely starts to enhance and make music sound better when you get around or above 200mg. Things also start to just look more beautiful and emotions are intensified if you are exposed to stimuli that would normally produce significant emotional reactions, but the feeling is of an opiate-like contentment along with a glowing radiating love (I'm not sure how to describe it, I am pretty high right now). There were hints of a psychedelic mindspace, but not much and definitely not the colorful visuals described by Wikipedia.
A 425mg dose caused that hint of a psychedelic mindspace to become more than just a hint, but it would only be what you'd expect from something like a +1 level trip on something such as Mescaline. Things looked different in a way I can't describe or define and it seemed like patterns were trying to form in the popcorn like texture of the ceiling. The opiate type effect did not seem to get much if any stronger but it seemed like mild empathogenic and entactogenic effects were manifesting. Mood became very serene and peaceful. Feelings of gratefulness for the ones I love came forth strongly and I wanted to tell everyone how I felt, but this was at night so I ended up spending much of the next 5 or 6 hours with my raccoon (his name is Lucky - if I thought I could tell how I got him, you would see how well the name fits but I doubt I'll ever let anyone know that). I went to the computer 3 or 4 times to listen to a few songs during that period.
One song (From My Hands by VNV Nation, if you want to know - and actually the song before that started to make me cry: 4th and Pine by Monster Movie) made me really suicidal and I started to think about jumping off of a particular building in January if I was too depressed to go back to university. I quickly became very paranoid for about 10 minutes or so, feeling like up to three people at my university knew what I was thinking and it felt like someone was putting thoughts of not wanting me to jump and trying to put a guilt trip on me by inserting his thoughts into my head (I mainly believed it was my counselor and thought the university psychiatrist might be doing it as well. I had no idea who the third person might be (if there was a third person, my counselor and the psychiatrist at the university are the ones I mainly feared, the third person was not as important as they were less likely to have connections to get me sent to a mental institution as far as I was concerned at the time). It was alarming that I had no control over how my thoughts were flowing out of my head and into the minds of others. I've felt that before - it is never pleasant. For a couple of minutes, I feared the police were coming to take me to the mental institution and I kept looking out the door and through my living room windows. For some reason, I just all of a sudden started laughing my ass off and I don't know why. The paranoia and suicidal thoughts left instantly and for a few minutes, I could not control my laughing and had no idea why I felt this way out of the blue. I then went back to how I was before. Spent more time with Lucky, then it was morning. I'm sure my mom knew I was on something because I rarely tell her or anyone else I love them, but did so to everyone at least once. It was wearing off by now and in 2 or 3 hours, I was ready to go to bed.
I had a number of bad panic attacks and lots of anxiety before I got the glaucine and became very paranoid that the police were going to search my house (something involving someone other than me was going on causing me anxiety, I will not go into the who or why but if it happened, my existence on Bluelight and the Earth would have been self-nullified, if you know what I mean) and I felt like the cops knew I was thinking this and were inserting both suicidal thoughts and fear into my mind. I had this bad anxiety with frequent panic one night and was fucking terrified to get near the window because I thought someone would come through the window with a knife to kill me (I used to have this irrational fear every night as a child). I think it was this series of severe panic attacks with paranoid delusions (thought broadcasting and thought insertion are the names for these particular delusions - the one where your thoughts are broadcast to or read by other people/another person or thoughts are put into your head, I did not mean the one about someone coming through the window with a knife to kill you - that doesn't have a name as far as I know and I don't know if the fear I had as a kid would be considered a delusion or a phobia - it also did not always involve knives, just someone coming through the window to kill me and I was just as fucking scared of being burned to death while sleeping - I was fucked up).
Yesterday and the day before, I was pretty sick and felt horrible. This always causes severe panic attacks and often with bizarre thoughts. When I kept puking and dry heaving really bad, I thought I was puking up pieces of my liver and was going to die. When feeling sinus pressure and a headache, I thought growing brain parasites were pushing my eyes out as well as killing me.
