Toilet Etiquette: An Important and Timely Discussion

The time has come to discuss an issue which holds much importance not only for we as bluelighters, but we as human beings! The etiquette of the shared toilet space!

Myself, I don't see the toilet as a place for socialisation for sober people. If you're using the toilet for its intended purpose of waste disposal, you get in there, get back out, no chatting or lazy discussion of the weather etc...it should be a goddamm military operation people!

I hate using urinals to begin with, but if I have to then I would rather just get it over with and get out. Unless you are trying to initiate sexual contact, there is no reason for us to have any kind of conversation while our penises are exposed. That is the rule. If you are trying to initiate sexual contact, that's a different story altogether and brings me to my next point: People using the toilet for its non-intended purpose.

There are many reasons that several people may suddenly need to fill the one cubicle. I don't think I need to go into this. In these situations I feel it is unecessarily rude and guache for people OUTSIDE the cubicle to try and hurry up people INSIDE the cubicle, I don't care how bad you need to go! If you hear strange snorting/moaning/shuffling/whispering or high-spirited talking from inside a cubicle, you let it go. That's the rules.

The one time overt socialisation is allowed and encouraged in public facilities is when it comes to meeting and befriending amusing drunk/otherwise fucked people. Many an hour I've spent blocking up the basin area with my two new best friends in the world in deep conversation while the friends I came with look for me outside.

Please share your valued opinions at will.

%)

There are 2 girls that I work with that always take toilet breaks together. These girls will spend up to 20mins talking about their kids, families, dinner they had the night before - anything - in the toilets.

What makes it even worse is that they are sisters - they travel together to work every day so they could save this stuff for the car where everyone else doesn't have to listen to it!

^^^ That shits me. (I know it has nothing to do with me but that just seems....I dunno, nearly wrong. Well not wrong....I'll find a better word).

I'm an in and out man myself. You get in there and get it over and done with, you get out of there. Whether this be taking drugs, having sex or purely taking a piss, you get the job done ASAP.

The issue of being in the cubicle with someone else, for whatever reason, should be dealt with accordingly, and fairly within the rules stated by Raz.

Like every rule there are exceptions. If the same door has been shut for longer than say, 15 minutes either:
a) Someone's having sex so they should either give up (after 15mins? in a club/pub/whatever? gimme a break) or invite more members.
b) Someone's in need of medical assistance.
c) <<insert other reason here>>

I mean, yes you can meet some very interesting people standing there holding your dick, but I'd rather be in the place I actually paid to get into, rather than in the facilities talking shit to someone having a leak.

Another thing that shits me with public toilets (puns yay!) is the fact that some people decide to go spray painting. WTF? What are these people thinking?

I'm sure there are a tribe of Himalayan Crapper Monkeys running around, polluting the toilet walls/doors/windows with their own exrcement.

I think I should stop now or I could go on forever. 8(

It's Not Jus' Limit'd To Public Bathrooms. 'High'-Class 'stablishments Even Weird.

Raz said:

I hate using urinals to begin with,

Click to expand...

Yeah, like, how does it somehow become suddenly
acceptable for 7 guys who wouldn't be seen dead
near a dick other than their own,
to pile into a ceramic room,
stand in a row,
all with their penises out
grab hold
an face forward.

I've always found this cultural abnormality/peculiarity fascinatingly perplexin'.

When can I walk the streets naked?





*cubicles have a million uses*

okay - another piece of etiquette

For the love of god please DONT SHIT ANYWHERE OTHER THAN THE BOWL!

I remember being very drunk one night & walking into a bathroom in a pub with a friend. The whole toilet, including the flush button, were covered in shit. Now, to actually get shit up there it would entail someone squatting over the button - so they can aim there but not in the bigger, deeper bowl? how does this logic serve?

Also people that piss on the floor - what is wrong with you people?? learn to aim!

Why do companies bother with those single urinals in their own stall hey... might as well put a toilet there.

Ive had many-a interesting chats in the toilets... most of the time i try and stay focused and if i start dribbling, invite the person outside to continue doing so.

Gurns N Noses

Actually, I don't think I really answered the question.
("Really?!?")

I think that people should be able to stay in cubicles as long as necessary.
If there's more than 'one of them' 'in t'here',
they're probably doin' somethin' important,
or at LEAST somethin' you'd like to be doin'.

Go'on.
You know it's true.
Bangin' on the doors
jus' gonna make them drop the DMT pipe,
or loose rythmn rather than get it over with,
an' you'll just havta wait longer.

Slash
riffed about
A virtue.
Yeah.

PEACE
UnS

AHHH!! Just what I was thinking about....

Living in China, I've had the unfortunate experience of having to visit a public toilet! The most disgusting thing ever.. There was this layer of flies over the toilet.. and when you lowered your ass.. the flies went all around you. Crawling and buzzing on your ass.. IT was so fuckin bad!

I had to take a dump.. as i had the WORST ever stomach ache.. I guess that teaches me to eat at a place where the whole meal cost me $2...

Where I work - A massive company.. the men's toilet is a disgrace! It is so dirty and it's cleaned every 2 hours or so. It's like these people have no respect for the next person.. and just go where ever they please.

Sigh... one of the worst things about China.

Ahh the world of public toilets. When I'm out drinking I almost always seem to have a conversation with at least one person while in the toilet. Almost every conversation consists of the same words. Usually along the lines of:

"Having a big/good night?"
"Yeah, not bad"
Then usually a mention is made of how pissed one of the people feels or how much they have had to drink. Can't say I've made any life long urinal friends. I don't enjoy using public toilets but when I do I'm usually pissed and don't care.

Some observations about public toilets:

When out drinking, the worst possible thing that can happen is that you synchronise your toilet breaks with some random stranger. Every time you go they are already in there or enter while you are there. Each time you catch eye contact.

I never know what to say when I meet someone leaving or entering the toilet as I'm doing the opposite. "Enjoy?", "Hello/Goodbye?". It's just plain awkward.

I hate it when you enter the toilet and there is a terrible smell or mess and as you leave someone else comes in. I almost feel like stopping them and saying "look, it wasn't me!"

Conversations in toilets can only be entered into by people on the same level. You can both be at the urinal or both be waiting for the urinal but no communication must be entered into if one is waiting and the other is pissing. It’s just wrong.

Here's a fun little urinal game that I found which will test your toilet social skills: http://flasharcade.com/game.php?urinal&2

And for god’s sake, wash your hands!

My rant over.

They *WERE* Really Good. Hence The Whole Scene.

Recently an associate & myself
pretended to be bathroom attendants
at a Sydney breaks night for like
half-an-hour.

It was strange.
But fun.
Many a peakin' lil bunny
was truly baffled by us,
an' were seen wandering
off towards the water basin.
Somewhere between
"I've seen a ghost."
&
"These are really good..."
angled 'cross their faces.

Sorry for all these boring stories people.
Have to get it outta my system.

If you know what I mean.
hehe

electreauxbella said:

okay - another piece of etiquette

For the love of god please DONT SHIT ANYWHERE OTHER THAN THE BOWL!

I remember being very drunk one night & walking into a bathroom in a pub with a friend. The whole toilet, including the flush button, were covered in shit. Now, to actually get shit up there it would entail someone squatting over the button - so they can aim there but not in the bigger, deeper bowl? how does this logic serve?

Also people that piss on the floor - what is wrong with you people?? learn to aim!

Click to expand...

Fucking totally!

And what pisses me off MORE is that you see this kind of crap in toilets in workplaces, schools etc! At least in a club you can try to blame it on someone so fucked out of their mind they don't know how to do ANYTHING like a normal person...in a public toilet you can blame it on the mentally disturbed....who wipes their fucking SHIT on a wall and pisses on the floor in their workplace toilet?? What is WRONG with people???

I walked in to a cubicle and found a gigantic turd in one of the toilets at work today... fucking learn to flush people!

Also, I hate it when people don't wipe their "drips" off the toilet seat - be considerate of the person who has to sit there after you.

Raz you have totally fired me up on this topic! I hate rude bathroom users!

^^^We should form some manner of support group bella. It will give me something to do in the non-Anti-Christmas Leage months....

why not. why not start now.

I vote tomorrow as "BE NICE TO PEOPLE IN TOILETS DAY"

What this means kids, is that you clean up after yourself, don't linger in the toilets chatting, flush the toilet properly, piss IN the bowl and make everyone (and yourself) happy.

If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweety, wipe the seaty.

I actually stuck a sign in a friend of mine's loo once because her disgusting flatmate used to leave skidmarks... the sign?

He's a nutella kid, and she's a nutella kid
Hey mum look at my bum I did an nutella skid!
(I may have been stoned at the time)

Touch the least amount of things possible.

Don't watch others deficate.

Don't engage in conversation unless it is after you've gone and you're fixing your hair & makeup at the mirrors.

Even if you've been waiting in line for 20mins, if someone barges in looking like they're going to throw up or crap themselves, they get priority.

Don't leave any kind of mess... unless it's not yours.

aBitOfAWorry said:

I hate it when you enter the toilet and there is a terrible smell or mess and as you leave someone else comes in. I almost feel like stopping them and saying "look, it wasn't me!"

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rofl! I totally agree. That's not a very nice 2 seconds of awkwardness. You kinda walk out and just hope you don't have to see them again all night... It really does feel like you're taking the blame for someone elses shit (literally). Not cool!

My own personal rules for the toilet, as this is a matter that is close to my heart.

1) Squat- no touching the seat under any circumstance if it is not my own toilet.

2)If it is my toilet you are using, you squat as well. If YOU need to No2 in MY house, use my husband's toilet, not mine.

3) Skid marks- I cant use a loo that is skiddied, it must be clean so dont be surprised if your loo looks sparkly after I use it, its just a compulsion for me to answer the call of nature in a clean loo.

4) More than one person in a loo- drug purposes only, organised in ADVANCE to get my pill/whatever ASAP, no hanging around giggling and laughing, get that thing SWALLOWED and out- everyone knows whats going on anyway so why bother hiding it. Most of the time just the sink area of the club will do and everyone else is doing it anyway so who gives a shit.

5) Always check to see if there is loo paper in the loo FIRST before squatting. here is nothing more annoying than the drip dry, or some plaintive cry from someone else who is not as prepared- "Lizzzyyyyy can you pleeease get me some loo paper??? pleeeeeeeeease!!- Im DRIPPINNG!"

6) Loos that DONT FLUSH- use only in an emergency....cover your deposit with sufficient bog roll that will ensure the loo is properly clogged to save the next person the embarassment of seeing your excrement. Warn them as well to use at their own peril. This is a given though at the end of outdoor events.

7) Waiting in line for the loos- there have only been 2 occassions when I have pushed in line, both while on acid and the gremlins were after me. This is the only excuse I will accept and am very territorial about my place in the queue and will mark my territory accordingly if threatened by a desperado looking to push in. I dont voice my desire to go to those in the loo already, as it must be pretty OBVIOUS that is what I am there for as I cant think of any other reason to wait in a toilet queue, can you?

/end loo rant.