Pop Popavich
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2004
- Messages
- 3,458
This is a thought I've had many times in the past, but recent discussions with my ex-girlfriend have caused me to give it a bit more attention.
Whenever I hear her talk about a situation, or some current even in her life, it always seems to be from the perspective of something happening to her, not something she's doing. This goes for things with work, relationships (including our most recent one), family, even friends, and invariably things end up in a way that she is unhappy with.
I see this sort of approach in a lot of people, and it's something that I struggle to get my head around. As such I have a hard time being sympathetic to their plight when it seems to be the same story over and over again. I'm happy to listen to their concerns, and try and help, but at the end of the day you have to want to help yourself, and be prepared to try and change things for the better.
To me, if there is something going on, and it concerns you in some way, you have input, you can affect the outcome. It may not always go the way you want it to, but the point is you can at least try and steer things in the desired direction, not just strap yourself in for the ride, and then be distraught when things don't turn out like you wanted.
For myself, I like to feel like I have some control of what is happening. It doesn't always work out in my favour, but at least I know I've tried, and I don't feel the need to wonder "Why Me?". On the other side of the coin, if something does work out in my favour, then I feel like I've earned it more.
So my question is, when it comes to life situations, big or small, do you take at least some control of what's happening, or are you along for the ride? Do you make things happen, or are you a Victim of your surroundings?
Whenever I hear her talk about a situation, or some current even in her life, it always seems to be from the perspective of something happening to her, not something she's doing. This goes for things with work, relationships (including our most recent one), family, even friends, and invariably things end up in a way that she is unhappy with.
I see this sort of approach in a lot of people, and it's something that I struggle to get my head around. As such I have a hard time being sympathetic to their plight when it seems to be the same story over and over again. I'm happy to listen to their concerns, and try and help, but at the end of the day you have to want to help yourself, and be prepared to try and change things for the better.
To me, if there is something going on, and it concerns you in some way, you have input, you can affect the outcome. It may not always go the way you want it to, but the point is you can at least try and steer things in the desired direction, not just strap yourself in for the ride, and then be distraught when things don't turn out like you wanted.
For myself, I like to feel like I have some control of what is happening. It doesn't always work out in my favour, but at least I know I've tried, and I don't feel the need to wonder "Why Me?". On the other side of the coin, if something does work out in my favour, then I feel like I've earned it more.
So my question is, when it comes to life situations, big or small, do you take at least some control of what's happening, or are you along for the ride? Do you make things happen, or are you a Victim of your surroundings?