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Tackling the big issues, Suicide.

ian_strong

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 15, 2003
Messages
445
With the recent passings of a few celebs to suicide i thought it might be time we tackled our thoughts on this issue,
we can use this also as a tribute/remembrance to those we knew who have taken their lives.

Before i start i have had a few family members who have taken fate into their hands and also a cpl of friends, my heart goes out to all of you who have had to deal with death in any way shape or form its not easy to deal with any way you look at it.

I used to think in my younger yrs that suicide was the cowards way out. Now as i get older i see the many hardships that we all must face in our lifes, wether it be death, relationships, work, bankruptcy all things can lead to this ending.
In no way am i trying to say that i understand the decisions made by the ppl who take their own lives (or anyone elses for that matter) but i am starting to understand what could have lead them to that decision..

I do not believe i could do it myself but things do seem like they just cannot be resolved.

Once again my heart goes out to all who have had to deal with the passings of others.
 
<3

I'll comment on this when the words come. This will suffice for now.

To One Shortly To Die

From all the rest I single out you, having a message for you,
You are to die-let others tell you what they please, I cannot prevaricate,
I am exact and merciless, but I love you-there is no escape for you.

Softly I lay my right hand upon you, you just feel it,
I do not argue, I bend my head close and half envelop it,
I sit quietly by, I remain faithful,
I am more than nurse, more than parent or neighbor,
I absolve you from all except yourself spiritual bodily, that is eternal, you yourself will surely escape,
The corpse you will leave will be but excrementitous.


Walt Whitman.
hearthrob.gif
.
 
I don't think suicide is the easy way out - I think it is the result of feeling terribly misunderstood, for an entire lifetime! Through the good, the bad, whatever... never feeling understood.

I'm such an open person - yet I've never told someone "everything". I don't think I ever will... although I'd like to. That would require a soulmate and I don't even know that they exist!

I used to cry myself to sleep everynight... even if I'd had what could be described as a "positive" day! I used to need to feel upset to be at peace with myself - happy was good (at the time) but it wasn't my comfort zone. Maybe that's why I was never suicidal? I was always comfortable in my misery! I used to thouroughly enjoy falling asleep at night with tears rolling down my cheeks. You heard correctly - I enjoyed it! I used to actively try my best to think the worst possible thoughts (inc. suicidal thoughts but with no intentions, read on >) so I could stay in the dark side as long as possible, no matter how much it hurt. That was the idea of it!

Things are somewhat different these days and I'm happy being happy! Thank goodness for the turn around. When you're in the place I was though - you never think things will get better. It's not 1, 2, 3 days of sorrow - it's controlling your entire life (even when you're smiling and not thinking about it). To the outside eye, you're a perfectly happy person, behind the scenes in a different ball game!

In short, I can comprehend why people feel the need to take their own lives - even though I haven't actively wanted to do so myself! :)

*be happy people* :D
 
I've always thought that those who commit suicide actually have a strength in them that is beyond so many other people, its overwhelming. Think about it - strength in your negative convictions, that things wont get better, the will to die, the will to actually do it... the last one always gets me.

When I had problems when I was 16 (Or thought...) like KRC I used to cry myself to sleep every night, think suicide always theoretically, but never once ever thought of putting it into action. It was like a complete different ball game.

It makes me so sad to think that people can lose so much belief in humanity, themselves, the world to think that leaving it is the only answer.

Actually, one of my friends said to me once 'Its ok to be melancholy' and I really hold that one to me. Because I also do think that it is a false representation for everyone to hope that they can be constantly happy... and its hard work too. I am truthfully cheerful most of the time but I can be very melancholy, not in a suicidal way, more in an analysis sense. I like being a pondering person, a bit of a thinker. An emotionally reserved Capricorn - thats me :)
 
For a while I thought peopel who commmitted suicide were selfish arseholes that didn't care about the hurt peopel they were leaving behind, but then of course I realised that if suicidal people thought other people actually cared, I don't think they'd do it.

I've thought about suicide, but never with any intention to actually go through with it; I just couldn't. I used to get depressed a bit when I was a few years younger, and I never thought about suicide until a while ago when it was less controllable... as you grow older, you grow more jaded and find more things wrong with the world... that's what I've found anyway.
 
having been on the verge of suicide a few times, and losing 3 friends to this act, i am in two minds about the issue.

on the one hand its really fucking selfish. they cause those left behind an immense amount of hurt that never heals.
i don't think i've ever completely got over the guilt of losing my best friend, and feeling there was someway i could have prevented it. nor have i got over the sadness that she's no longer with me, and the anger that comes with that realisation.
times my feelings by 10 and your not even close to what her family feels.

however, as with most people that take their lives, she had deep depression. people with depression are not in a stable state of mind, its like they have been 'posessed' by this illness. it makes them irrational people. if they were in the right frame of mind, they wouldn't have committed this horrible act.
these people can't see any other possibility, they are convinced that there is no one in the world that cares, and that the pain they are feeling cannot be stopped any other way.
 
I am reminded of a certain jackass ex-bluelighter who used to be a moderator for The Dark Side, who used to openly advocate to people posting about their depression and suicidial thoughts that they should kill themselves if they really wanted to because it was the ultimate form of self empowerment and self determination. And it wasn't letting yourself be pushed around or told by other people what to do.

To this day I think the administrators of Bluelight were absolutely derelict in their duty and completely contrary to Bluelights harm minimisation message allowing him to continue to moderate after that sort of completely gobsmacking advice.

As Kazza has pointed out, suicide is a symptom of an inbalanced and unstable state of mind... depression. And depression can be treated, sometimes people just can't see a way out of the darkness and give up :(
 
Mean Girl said:

I just read that thread.. That is horrible! I didn't even know him but am still touched.

I feel that suicide is a selfish act, but I know what it feels like to feel misunderstood, lonely, depressed etc, and how much better it seems to be.. gone.. I totally understand why some people do it, even though it sucks and is always a solution. Some people just can't see that :( :(
 
I think that you all need to STOP calling it a selfish act.
I know that 3-4 weeks ago I was trying to take my own life. The doctor actually asked me last night, Died you just want to die? I said no I didn't, I wanted everything to Stop. I wanted everything to be normal. And I knew once everything had stopped I'd be happy again.

From where you're coming from, It'd be selfish because I'd have my 3 sisters aged 2/6/7 going on there whole lives' missing me. But at the moment in my life I blame myself for ALOT of things that have happened in there lives. And I obviously thought it would also be easier for them if I were to end it.

So Please don't think that it's just selfish. While people are thinking about it or doing it, they want everything to stop. That's the ONLY thing on there mind, it's not "Hey I'll die"...

And yes I speak from pretty good experience, seeing as i was 75% through with it before turning my car around.

That's my 2 cents worth.
 
sometimes the only way out is to end your own life. it's selfish to not let someone commit suicide, if it's all thought out and is the last resort.
 
I think it is extremely selfish for anyone to even suggest that suicide is a selfish act.

Maybe you should instead take the time to try to understand.

Maybe you should have taken the time to try to understand.

Its not so long ago that I felt that utter and total despair.

Loneliness does that to you and when the world rejects you, I can assure you its far easier to simply say enoughs enough.

I have felt that way and I have no doubt I will again.

How it all ends, i cant honestly say.

What I do know is that I have and will continue to fight like a dog for people whom I come across who are down and out mentally like I have been because thats all they want.........someone to genuinely give a fuck.

There are so few people in the world who seem to care about anything other than themselves and thats what hurts me so much when im down, because nobody really truly gives a fuck.
 
^^ *Clap Clap*

That's exactly how I wanted to put it Dan. I'm ALWAYS there for people, and I always will be. Because I know I've gone through alot of shit that I can't really handle, and I don't expect them to be there for me. But I'm happy knowing they know I'm here...

Like you said, I felt like that and almost went through with it 4 weeks ago, I can't say that I'll NEVER feel that way again though...
 
you never know until you've been there yourself.

Ive lost family to suicide, Ive tried to commit suicide. The frame of mind you are in when you are that low....I cant describe it.

All I will say is when I felt that low, I was doing everyone a favour by dying. I hope it never happens again.:\
 
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I'm all for assisted suicide for when someone KNOWS they're going to die, and they just don't want to go through the pain anymore.

but a normal person, I can't really comment because I've never been in that situation. I really haven't had any reason to want to kill myself because I always look for the good in any situation, even in the worst situation, I put it down as learning, and go on about my life.

but I also understand that for most people...it's just not that easy.

I've had quite a few of my friends that wanted to kill theirselves, but luckily I've been able to show most of them that yes, their life does suck now, but to use that as a stepping stone, because once you're at the bottom, the only way to go is up.

I've found if you try hard enough, most people will come around. But sadly...thats not the case with all people :(

I just wish more people had people like me (not tooting my own whistle) to help them and try to show them that there is a brighter day if they only look for it.



I know a lot of people will flame me for this, but I think there are some people that should kill theirselves, because they are only a drain on society. And I know this is really harsh, but the world would be better off without some of these people being alive. :\
 
<3

Originally posted by iamtha1
...one of my friends said to me once 'Its ok to be melancholy' and I really hold that one to me.

^I like this. I might tuck this into my shining glittering thoughts pocket of my brain. TY, iamtha1.

I have a similar gem I often think of when times are tough - - - or even going well - - - and that is, "Things always change".
No matter how well things are going - - - no matter how down and deep into despair you are - - - it will always change. You never know what will happen tomorrow, due to either yourself or others. Things you can control, and things you cannot.

Originally posted by iamtha1
I like being a pondering person, a bit of a thinker. An emotionally reserved Capricorn - thats me :)

^And me - - - but you know that. :)
 
Why does everyone always say that suicide is a selfish act...

Isnt it selfish of the surrounding people for only thinking of THEMSELVES at a time when all the person really wants is validation and understanding from those closest to them?

I dont think it's selfish, i think it's a last resort for them, in their eyes they see no other way, they've tried their hardest to live a happy life, all the pain and misery they've had to deal with day in and day out, then when they finally get the courage to make that last pitched effort for freedom, people point the finger and call THEM selfish.
What about all the years of depression this person had to endure leading up to it, you think they just made a split decision one day? No, they've thought about it for years. They've lived a whole life of sadness. That's not selfish. It's selfish for people not to notice their hurt because everyone is to wrapped up in their own lives (honestly it's true, that's not meant to sound harsh)

I dunno, i have mixed feelings on this subject, i can understand how people can say it's selfish, and fair enough if the person has a wife/husband/kids ect. but c'mon, give the person a break, they obviously had tried all they could. Let them have their peace.
 
^ Best response so far!

(Sorry about the post whoreish reply but I agree 100% and feel it was very well worded)
 
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