View Full Version : Truth is I love all kinds o' chems but on occasion I wish I never started this shit!

15-03-2005, 14:21
Hey there's no doubt chem's are fun, can be a kinda spiritual tool etc for others, and not to mention a great escape, but like me have u ever wished u never had that first encounter?

15-03-2005, 15:50
Does the pope wear a funny hat ?

What if you died knowing you didn't try any psychedelics but...

16-03-2005, 00:52
When I look at my bank account after a Rave, yeh I regret it...But then I think about it and I'm like..Start saving up for the next one...

You always think oh shit, maybe I shouldn't have...But if you've had fun, you're still alive and are sane...Whats there to regret?

16-03-2005, 01:43
heh, all the time buddy...

But what if i didn't? god life would be boring... at least thats how i think now...

no point winging over spilt milk - we're all druggo's for whatever reason, it's only a problem if u make it one

16-03-2005, 05:30
If you smart & mature about your drug use there's nothing to regret I don't think. but for the people dumping weekend by weekend / over-using drugs i think they'll definately regret it after it doesnt work anymore and all they used it on was average weekends and not feeling the full effects anyway.

weed was easily my biggest weakness to drugs and i regret how often i used it because it's had an effect on me but i never regret trying it.

16-03-2005, 05:56
I'd hate have been one of those week in week out pissheads. I feel like I've got a lot more out of life from my drug use, more than I woulda got had I been a piss head. I've made heaps more friends on drugs than booze.

16-03-2005, 12:48
SWIFTY ^^^^^

I'm totally the same ! i use to drink all the time, now i rarely drink, drug use has brought me closer to pplz and has made me heaps more friends !

a few beers hear and there, same with a few pillz hear and there ! but i choose pillz over drink any day

yea i wish i had never stated taking drugs on the odd ocasion, but ya only live once !

it is a costly and dangerous hobby !


16-03-2005, 14:06
Originally posted by dialated665
SWIFTY ^^^^^

I'm totally the same ! i use to drink all the time, now i rarely drink, drug use has brought me closer to pplz and has made me heaps more friends !

a few beers hear and there, same with a few pillz hear and there ! but i choose pillz over drink any day

yea i wish i had never stated taking drugs on the odd ocasion, but ya only live once !

it is a costly and dangerous hobby !


Drug use can certainly bring you closer to ppl, but if you minused the drugs from those relationships, do you think you'd still feel close?
I have regretted using drugs, in that I would have preferred to have been smarter and less indulgent (particualrly with pills/weed/speed) but I have found indulging in psychedelics on occaision (once a month max) has enriched my life- its something to look forward to, something to think about, reflect on and laugh at, and it gives me a taste of something more fantastic/extraordinairy then 'normal' existence- all of these things have ended up benefitting my life as a non-drugged up human; in other words, these drugs have made my real life more real and fabulous and exciting. I almost feel sorry for people that don't have these things in their life, but their certainly not for everyone, and I know there will be a point when they are hardly in mine. I don't have a desire to trip all the time, as opposed to the whole weed syndrome where your always stoned (at least I was). Theres different types of drugs- party drugs (eg.speed, MDMA, ketamine, alcohol, marijuana, etc) and then more serious, life changing drugs (eg.psychedelics). Party drugs are fun, for sure, but because fun is addictive, so are the drugs.If you get what I mean . . .

16-03-2005, 21:19
Im not a big drug user, maybe about a pill a month on avg, a cone here and there. I went clubbing for about a yr before I had my first pill, and still had awesome times then. But now when i go out straight and see everyone else using drugs/alcohol I feel a little sad and think to myself 'What about me, I want to have (way more) fun too'

I still go out drug/alchohol free but not as much as i'd like to. And yes, there are times I wish I never tried it. But as people here are saying, you only live once and fun really is addictive. Once I did it, I found I couldn't go back ;)

17-03-2005, 00:31
Yes, I often wish I hadn't tried anything, because now going out straight, or even having 'just' a drinking session is virtually impossible. Nothing matches up to being on drugs. And I wish I didn't feel that way, because it makes you a prisoner of sorts.

I wish that all I knew was all I used to know so that I could enjoy ordinary pleasures more.

18-03-2005, 11:35
^^ Yeah but if that was all you knew, you wouldn't know that you wished you could enjoy ordinary pleasures more.

18-03-2005, 14:10
I am still feel I am quite inexperienced, except I am very glad I started... Since I started I now feel I can enjoy myself more when not on anything as well...
I spent a few months in Canada at a ski resort, and tried quite a few things and didn't have any great clubs (just 2 pubs) at the resort...
Now that I've come back I had a big one the other night, then last night on nothing at all, I had an awesome night dancing, (only a few drinks before we went out and a water bottle at the venue)

I also used to be quite shy, I think drugs have helped me open up, and discover more about myself...

No regrets.

20-03-2005, 02:30
I hit the psytrance scene pretty hard about 3 years ago.. for 2 years straight that was all i did pretty much every weekend.

Now, i can say i am over the substances, although i still enjoy them on occasion.

Yes its true, nothing matches up to drugs ..
For a long time i couldnt go out and drink or go out straight cause it was just far to boring but i think i've re-learnt how to sort of stay positive and actully enjoy myself without them. I really do believe i am better now in my social interaction than ever in my life even before drug use. (started using @ 20~).

Acid forever.

20-03-2005, 03:13
i wish i had more availibility to psychedelics , i tried a k-bomb yesterday and im glad i tried that but i wish i never tried bickies, they are evil, for about a month i was using 4 days a week some days with speed but thats not a problem, that month i got in so much shit it is not the same between me and my family anymore i took so many pills off my sister its not funny, doing 4-5 pills a night, i stay away from pills now too much hassle, k is the best i just stick with that. sorry im talking so much ive been up all night hehe... bump-bump

20-03-2005, 08:52
Originally posted by swifty
^^ Yeah but if that was all you knew, you wouldn't know that you wished you could enjoy ordinary pleasures more.

True. But I was pretty happy with just a night out with a few chardonnays then. I jogged. I did yoga classes and salsa lessons. I was motivated. I mightn't have appreciated those things in the context of 'simple pleasures' then, but at least I can't remember myself wishing to be more fucked up just so I could enjoy a 'normal' night out..... feeling like something is missing if I don't have a pill or a line ...... unlike practically every weekend now.

The goalposts have moved. Ignorance, maybe, is bliss in a way. At least, for those of us who have moderation issues ;)

But then you can't take back your choices, and I am far from a victim. I, and all of us, have choices every time we repeat the behaviour and make it further ingrained. It just saddens me sometimes that I am not innocent and 'good' anymore... hard to explain better than that. I don't feel completely in integrity with my ideal self-image.

Ask me when I first started taking pills and I would have waxed lyrical about all it had bought to my life. Now - I'm not so sure. I think it opened two parallel doors: one exposing an unself-concious, beautifully free, fun and spontaneous side of me, but another, darker door which fed into the lazy, selfish, decietful, greedy and apathetic parts of my soul. I just wonder if the compromise is worth it, sometimes......

20-03-2005, 12:43
I agree with above, I thought pills were my saviouR at first. Now I don't take them at all, EVER. The good thing is, habits are not that hard to break if your determned.

20-03-2005, 19:11
It's great that you pointed out that people use chems as an escape, because primarily, that's what they are. People use to them to escape reality and normality. Sometimes it's more spiritual and sometimes recreational, but often enough, whether we like it or not, its an escape of reality.

I dont mind at all that I tried them, I dont mind at all that I use them. Its been half a year since I've really used any chems other than alcohol and weed so I guess you could call me reformed. But I do intend to use things again... but this time its purely for the fun of it, purely for a release, purely a return to the halcyon days... just to chase that high.

I wouldnt change what I've done for the world, but I understand that its a state I cannot exist in forever. I think I'm aware my time has passed. Now I can take but a few moments to relive them and savour those feelings.

20-03-2005, 19:19
No to the best of my recollection i've never once wished that i didn't have that first encounter, not during comedowns or withdrawl or other drug related problems i've had. It's all about that first time i took a mere 20mg of dexamphetamine, i'd tried weed, nitrous, codeine, temazepam and alcohol before but 4 dexies was life changing for me. This is will sound stupid but i'd been happy 'naturally' before and the other drugs i'd tried had made me happy but this was the first time i felt truly happy because it was the first time troubles completely disappeared, sure you could totally forget your troubles with other drugs or naturally but it was only on dexies that it seemed like 'logically' my problems didn't exist rather than i was too distracted to notice them.

I have gotten a lot from drugs before and after that and it's not like i think that that one experience is greater than the rest of my drug experiences combined but where as i could conceivably trade my other experiences if the price was high enough i just could not ever want to live a life not even once knowing that specific kind of euphoria.

20-03-2005, 21:59
We all take drugs for different reasons.. whenever i start getting depressed or anxious over my drug taking, i just turn it around, put a positive spin on it.. if drug taking were as "normal" as walking the dog, we wouldnt think twice about it.. personally for me, drug taking isnt about what drug your on.. hell.. ive had life changing revelations under the influence of nitrous.. its about how you spend your time while on the drug.. if you start to feel that whole guilt complex come on.. dont shut the door on drugs.. just re-arrange a little, you know...

21-03-2005, 02:22
i love my googies, but i think everyone in here makes really good points- there are definitely times when you just wish you'd had the balls to say 'no' that first time.
I did say no for many years, but now I'm in the cycle I know as long as i've got access to them i'll be dumping pills for a while yet.
what really scares me is some mates i have who will follow up a hard night out with a 'recovery session' of biccies and coke. they just sit around absolutely trolleyed all sunday not because they really want to, but because they can think of nothing else.

another problem for me is that although drugs have brought me closer to ppl in many ways, they also create illusions of closeness sometimes. there's a technical term for it i read once- but basically it just really shatters me to see friends a few days after some good MDMA and realise that, to quote a song, "it's not you it's the e-talking".

i know this is all pretty common stuff, but then again, i guess that's why so many people are commenting on this thread- coz theyre feelings most of us share.