too many drugs for girls and small people

hey i am still wide awake. a bit slow at things but not tired at all. but i'm bothered by this and many other thoughts. and don't think it's comedown or paranoia it's based on my comparison of myself and the girs i know who take drugs. i don't know very many girls who take drugs. not closely anyway, maybe one or two max. so i compare myself to them a bit and don't understand. i wonder if i take to many pills and speed/meth for my size, being a girl and all. all the people i know who take drugs are guys mostly and so they don't really understand. anyway background info on me is i have tolerance on some level. have only taken pills for about a year and a bit, but in that time a lot, think anyway. i am about 165cm and 55kg, so yeah smallish. anyway since i know mostly guys i compare myself to them and the amount i take seems ok but then i think hang on it shouldn't be 'needing' this much. and new years i talked to many girls who gave me funny looks when i said what i'd had. didn't think of it at the time. but now i wonder. here's what i had in order:
50 meth
1 8 ball
1/2 hq
50 meth
1/2 hq
1 8 ball
ok it was more than usual and my head and stomach are in pain i feel fucked. but you know how people ask what you had etc so i told most people then and they were shocked i mean happy for me but sort of look at me strange. ok so i don't always have this much, usually about 2 good pills, and $100 meth, or more pills less meth or vice versa. still spend the same amount of money. but the thing is i did have it and wonder whats going to happen to me eventually? I used to take one pill or so each week and i thought that did my head in and so now i just go out once a month and go hard. but when you work it out it's sort of the same amount just more in less time. i just want to know about other girls or small guys how much you take and how often. i feel sort of seedy when i think shit it's a shitload i'm putting in my body. the girls i know take maybe one pill and a point or two of speed. so i wonder why i 'have' to take so much. do i have a higher level of expectation. i don't do this to get completely fucked up. but i have a state of feeling i want to be in and new years taking all that stuff i can say i got there and beyond. but shit thats not good right. maybe other people have more or less tolerance as people. maybe i am just not at a good stage. i think i feel seedy, not now but my actions look seedy. i almost feel embarrassed because are guys looking at me thinking shit she takes all that what a weirdo or something. I am 20 and i think i have a few more years of fun like this. but at this rate isn't something going to happen eventually. i mean we all know safe drug taking etc but they are still not good for you. look i wanted to explain this differently but i'm so scattered and i just don't know how to say what i mean but sort of i want to know the thoughts/ actions of other girls, yeah guys if you want, and if you take large amounts do you feel the need to justify it too? and please don't write this off as paranoia, oh i should stop the pills talk because it's not, i've thought about this for ages, but now i want to know.

Hey Abby, Wow that was quite a post. To answer your question that does seem like a lot of drugs to take in one night. Although, it was NYE so a lot of people probably went overboard. My stats are remarkably similar to yours. Im the same height, a few kilos heavier and 20 next month.
I normally take 1 pill per rave, and go to raves about once a month. If its a good pill I find it sufficent enough to have a good night. This NYE I had 2 pills (a HQ and a Regency) I also tried some meth which I didnt think much of. After thinking back, I dont think I really needed that 2nd pill, I still would have had a great night anyway. I think it only lasted longer. I know its Tuesday now, and I still feel like shit. I don't know if thats cause of the 2 pills or the meth. But I haven't been able to eat proplerly since Sunday.
As for girls taking pills, I know a few at raves and I'd say just about all of them take pills and or speed. I'd say on average they'd take maybe 1/2- 1 pill, some take some speed as well. Ofcourse there's always the exception, but that seems that average.
So yeah, don't know if I've been any help or not. I feel like I've just babled a lot of shit, but I guess thats what you do when your feeling crappy.
Anyway, you never said, How did you enjoy Sci-Fi ??

ok i thought a guys perspective mite help out a little. ok now just for the record im about 175cm i think and hover from 53kg (which i am now after nye/nyd) to around 57-58 after 3 weeks break. now im pretty sure after a party its a large amount of water ive lost, and i rehydrate correctly etc so no comments on that please. i also dont eat a great deal which doesnt help but anyway... but i am working on it as i recognise it as a problem.
i had one yonex and a little speed at nye, which was enough to rock me for ages. its not the amount of drugs or the price you pay its all got to do with quality. if you have friends saying they have 6 pills, theyre going to be shitty speed pills. now normally i have 2 good qual mdma pills as far as melbourne mdma goes that is. im not trying to turn this into a dick measuring thread about drug quality, but its something to keep in mind, especially if you are all on diff speed/pills etc. you diets come into effect too and post/pre loads if you do that too.
the girls i party with who may be around my weight, (i dont ask, its rude ) need less mdma than me, but speed seems to be similar. this also could be due to tolerance, but according to erowid (i read it somewhere, mayhave been maps or something) its 2mg per kg. now like i said before that may or may not apply as there are other factors involved.
btw i have never met a raver who isnt overweight, most are skinny or underweight
[This message has been edited by Cowboy Mac (edited 02 January 2001).]

i had a brilliant night. and i will be honest but i think the only reason it rates brilliant is because of the quality and quantity of drugs. i remember getting there and thinking oh good no line. i had only had 50 of meth at my place so i my ability to suss the situation and vibe wasn't a fucked perception. i remeber thinking where are all the people? and there doesn't seem like any charisma/vibe/atmosphere/personality here? people i was with agreed. however the music was great in parts. the parts when i could focus on it. i'm not sure what it was. but most people i know who we used to go to raves with back when i first started didn't go to sci-fi, they went private parties and stuff. but we know so many other people we couldn't walk 5 metres without talking to someone. but it seemed there were a lot of new different people here, and maybe that was why. i could get in to a man it's even more not like it used to be discussion but my head hurts. i'm hiding out in the computer room at my family's house. fuck knows why i came here though. i'm talking like i have a speech problem and trying not to act scattered and look like i have slept. i need my own computer. oh but i suppose if i saved $300 a month as opposed to going to events and taking drugs and having an awesome time then i would have one by now. ah yes even i seem to be turning on myself at this point. but yeah as an event i don't think sci-fi was very good. i liked delerious, digital much better music and atmosphere wise. but as for drugs, well science fiction. someone said to me today after they asked what i thought of science fiction that all my little stories were about drugs, and that i should listen to what i'm saying. then i think well ok perhaps they were. but they are an important aspect in my life. does that make me incredibly sad? maybe. but at least i admit that i love my drugs. i don't abuse them though. they're always planned and taken in the best situation. people i know say they go for the music, the atmosphere etc so then i say why not go straight then and they have nothing to say. i love drugs, but combined with the whole music, people situation. moreso it's the feeling. it's not like anything felt in reality. it's happiness as it should be felt naturally. and it's a blindfold from a world that is going downhill. in a hundred years people will not have lives anymore. already we have so many things that detract from the act of living. machines that do everything, toast bread, mix things, and then the fucking media to rot our lazy fucking brains. I don't watch tv. and today i looked at it in sheer desperation and thought i see right through this fucking shit. think about it and see how it really is. we live in fucking boxes drinking brown fizzy liquid that would taste like shit if it wasn't embedded in to our brain from day one subconsciously. i don't want to have children for the fact it's not a nice place. i know very few people who would do something without motive. and then maybe i just think too much crap. or i'm too cynical. but the world is definately a beautiful place on ecstasy.

hrMMmm here's *my* little say.
im 165cm tall 58 kilo's, smaller than my boyfriend and other ex housemate (girl) who i used to compare myself too. she took LOTS more of anything me and my boyfriend ever did and well she was always FUCKED (VERY fucked, rolling eyes, jaw chatters, vomiting, shudders) yuck comedowns and now she's a speed freak and just REALLY messed up hence the *ex*
ANYHOW! i always used to take the same amount and pills/ speed whatever as my boyfriend but lately realised im smaller and couldn't handle the drugs as well, comedowns alot shakier and smacked out when he wanted to dance.
Now i go halves, or just slower and try to reach the same level as him and stay there as i did for new years and it worked out perfect
2 girls i met recently both get ABSOLOUTELY fuckED! on half a pill, almost passing out stage both been doing it for about a year and there a bit smaller (weight and height) than me.
im happy costs me less i stopped with the "im a girl but im not weak!" attitude.
if i were you abby i'd cut down but in the end it's up to the individual.. remember once all your seretonin's gone.. it's *gone* extra pills won't have the same effect and can be dangerous.
"reach for the lasers safe as fuck"

sleep and reality: 2 comforts i haven't seen since last year.
i take pills with my best friend and various other people but always with my best friend. we started out one pill each ages ago and now we're at this point. i am usually much more fucked than him. but somehow we're on the same plane of thought. and in a way it's better because its good to moan about being fucked together but knowing one is slightly more better then one can look out for the other. i think though i think differently when i can sleep. seeing things from the corner of my eyes is not good.

I usually hate NYE but had best ever this year. Surprised me, which is why i enjoyed it probably.
What also helped was wandering aimlessly round city parks with friends. Real decompression y''know?
On original topic: got told that mdma types like hq hit really hard when you have a higher body-fat ratio (if wrong, please tell). The largest guy in our group is... a little challenged that way, and he was knocked asswise for half the day. Being female, despite your weight, means you might get knocked round more.
Good luck and hope you think happier after nap.

ok i'm female 20 167cm when i first got on the pills i weighed 47kg and now weigh about 52kg. Anyway when i go out i always go out with my boyfriend and my flatmate (who is male) who are both about 6ft and weigh about 68kg i think. I have always limited my pills to 2 a night for some reason (sometimes with speed on top of that.) One reason being was one night i lost my purse and couldn't find my b/f or my flatmate and ended up having to go upto the club manager who I knew totally off my tree and had this like major (Oh my god I must look like the world's most pathetic little drugged out girl ever, and because I was sooo off my tree it felt like the worse feeling ever.) and when i went back to dancing still not have found my purse I was dancing with the world's biggest frown and everyone is going "don't worry you'll find it" but it span me out to the point where i decided i would never gooo too extreme with taking pills. On the male/ female pill taking thing, many times my b/f and i have taking the same amount of pills and i actually worry about him more then myself because it seems him and my flatmate seem to channel their energy on mindfucking while i channel mine on the dancing and 'bouncing' side of things and seem to end up less scattered then them and often if we do have major comedowns mine is not as hard as theirs for some reason.
I honestly do think though (this is one of my theories so if others disagree then i understand.) If u are a person that stands in the corner and takes their pills rather than one who takes their pills and heads straight for the dancefloor, you are more likely to get the most depressing comedown (which makes others like myself around u depressed too). Also I think its because i love dancing soo much and that i think that anyone who pops should hit the dancefloor straight away hehe. Though I must point out that I also have a theory (which I follow) is that for every night I have that i go clubbing/raving on drugs that i have one night where i go out straight the next week, so that i don't forget that its about the music and the dancing not the drugs. There is a lot of people that don't follow this (such as my flatmate) and can't handle it if they are stuck in a club with no drugs.
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'just wait until this song is finished then i'll go '

I might add in my three cents
im about 60-65 kilos 6ft and still feeling the affects of the weekend due to the half a foil I just smoked so it seems here is the best place to dribble my rubbish.
This new years I went a little harder than I normally do due to my mates an I decided its time to take a break from the scene for a little while, or an long while even. Admittedly we have been going out a little to much for the last year. So the new year looks like a good time to clean up our act.
New years eve started with a 3/4 full cap
followed by HQ , white mitsi, another cap with some HQ , White mitsi and 1/2 pure MDMA.
plus some meth
Silly Im sure
but we had an absolutely awsome bang for new years
All seemed fairly clean but I was so loved up and out fucked up vision for so long. Thank god I wasnt driving .
Come down was pleasnt as. I think we have half an ounce of weed to thank for that.
But yeah after a crazy weekend like that It does make you stop and think.
Just why the fuck am I doing that to myself.
That much isnt nessessary as after a certain amount you can tell it isnt really doing much for you.
Its time to stop and think for a while.
Sorry to clutter the board with my wasted rammblings.
I think I'll go now

Isn't it funny how the end of the year (and Millenium) brings about all these personal observations and other such stuff?
anyway, I've been thinking a LOT about my drug usage over the last year, and the best I could come up with was
'recreational' instead of 'habitual'
ie. Do drugs because you want to, not because its what you usually do, or you haven't got anything better to do.
Lee

Abby, I think it all depends on the person.
I am a little bit taller, and little bit heavier than you - probably about the same sort of size though if you know what I mean.
Anyway, I usually will have 2 pills and a fair bit of speed if I go out, but I will be nowhere near as fucked up as my male friends who are all over 6ft. I dont club much, so I dont really have a tolerance or anything like that.
My fiance who is 6ft can only handle about half the pills I can, and we have been clubbing for exactly the same amount of time.
It is all up to the individual though. If you think that you are getting too fucked up, then cut down. Just take it easy and look after yourself.

I know a few chicks who do that much drugs, and they always seem to get downies. it's fucked. Like they had way too much pills, then they get sick on the come-up, so they think more drugs will calm them? Anyway, they always end up bringing others don and it pisses me off. Sorry if this happens to anyone, maybe just try and moderate so you have a smooth come-up, and then be happy with the amount you've had.
P.S. I also am quite small (lanky) and i just don't push my limits.
Reading back over this post i sound pretty arragant, fuck, sorry i'm still e-pressed from NYE
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"You're wearing the shirt of the band you're gonna see...Don't be that guy" Droz - PCU Pit Party
[This message has been edited by Hardicus (edited 04 January 2001).]

so far im the smallest person i know who does all these stuff. so i hope this will help.
body mass does account for the quantity of drugs required to reach the desired effect, but i think the mindset is pretty important as well. and little pple can build up tolerances which can make them bigger drugpigs than giants.
im 1.55m, and approx 37-38kg.
started out with the usual half a pill which could last me the whole nite. went headlong and full on into it all, and at 1 point was doing 4.5 pills plus heaps of other stuff (K, wizz, coke etc) in 1 nite.
decided to train myself back to the "halves" stage. cut down lots and took everything in halves. kept myself in touch with how im feeling and remind myself i dont need more if im still feeling excellent. sometimes i even do quarters, if i know the pill to be a very strong one.
currently, 2 halves spaced out is enough for me to have a good nite. plus some good rock wizz to accompany the MDMA. i dont see the need to push myself too hard, and if it takes less to achieve great effects, all the better for the wallet!

I'm a firm believer in that you have to be in the mood to peak it hard and in the mood to have a great time and dance for the pill to be a good one. If you pop when depressed and just sit in the corner just staring blankly at everyone dancing and sweating, that's when the demons of destruction come out and results in a killer come down, probably instigating suicidal tendencies. Whereas, is you pop one and are in the mood to party and indeed get up and party, you don't need anything else than a dance floor and fat beat to feel good, regardless of whether the pill is mdma, mda, or speed based.
Let the music move you, not the pill.

hi,
MDA is known to be harder on the female body and can cause a flame up in an infection in the genital area, but as far as your consumption is concerned then dont worry about what other people are doing, do what you feel happy with, if you are worried that you are doing too much then cut down a bit, maybe only go out every now and again.
I think that trying to access cleaner pills helps and then even if you mix it with meth then you have a slightly better idea of what you are taking (get a tester).
As with everyone who takes pills 5-htp will help and if possible try and take prozac about 8 hours after your last pill of the night to help with neuro toxins, we can all feel when we come down from pills that we are doing ourselves some damage so we owe it to our bodies to do what we can to minimise risks.
Dont get me wrong though I love doing pills and managed to chong a 200mg cap, plus 4 tri-mitzis, a gram of base and a blotter on NYE.

umm...I'm about 1.5m tall, and I weigh 44kg.
If I had half of what you did...I'd seriously be concerned for my safety. Even thogh compared to my friends my tolerance is higher, I know my own limits and that would completely fuck me..I don't think I would function.
Compared to my friends and boyfriend who I normally go out with...who are all bigger than me (mostly males) I must have a higher tolerance cos what hits me hits them harder and quicker. This isn't to say that I'm not in the "right" mindset..and hell, I love ta dance (oh boy do I!). We all take at the same time..same dose and have eaten around the same tiem also..so most factors are monitored and that is what I have found.
With this in mind..we all take no more than 1.5 pills which are almost always of really good quality (cu's, bt's, peach motos...etc.) and usually the only other substances I take in the night are some G after the peak which helps soften any come down (usually not that bad if any) and maybe a few cones after a hot shower to aid a long rejuvinating sleep. Oh...and sometimes a few mutli-vit's, vitC, and other nutrients.
I have had speed with a really good mdma pill..(I hate speed pills...rather a good pill and perhaps some speed if you fancy it than something that could be anything). Though so much meth its no wonder your still not sleeping! If your to take a substance...and you know its side effects, and you don't particularly feel like staying up for two days then why take it?? Or so much anyway?
This is beginning to sound like my mother and that isn't my intention at all. Simply, look after yourself...if you feel its too much then listen to your feelings only you know what's best. And if it affects your life to the point its causing hassles or making feel unwell...then perhaps cut down or have a break.
Finally, I agree with the others..try some 5-htp or eat bananas and turkey to replace your seratonin so you dont wind up feeling down...and dont' forget stuff like magnesium n stuff...damn it where's that post.
Im sure there's a post which would really help in regards to pre-post laoding...if u don't try it yet...I'm sure it'll help you.
Good luck, have fun and be safe.