Whilst you make some productive points Voodoo Chilie I think acceptance is based on your own perception of drug use or how and in what environment you chemically extend yourself.
I suppose with E (especially) you can categorise into basically two forms, the recreational user that likes to take every now and then but basically lives a 'normal' (by society's perception (please don't turn this into a 'what is normal' discussion, been there done that too many times!)), and the avid user who sees themselves as part of the "E" culture and very much identifies with the "scene" and makes it part of their every day life.
I suppose there is also another, which is a heavyish (in society's standards) (ab)user of mind altering substances, that has E in their repitior(sp?), but doesn't necessarily identify with the 'rave' culture. Rave in a broad sense, including hard clubbing (like revolver and QBH and lounge). Users like this may typically enjoy E in the comfort of their own home with friends (something I'm yet to enjoy, but eager too - Sure I enjoy raves but I'd like another setting sometime).
Now. Where partners fit into this I suppose depends on what type of user group you fit into. I would fit into the first. I'm tertiary educated, (usually) full-time employed, am about to have interviews with firms such as Ernst and Young, and Deloitte's Consulting for the next step in my IT career.
Having been in a full time relationship, taking E and living this lifestyle it is basically a matter of compromise (which I suppose all relationships are... well.. you GET a lot of things from it but you have to compromise sometimes...). In this situation where the drugs/entertainment thing isn't the main focus for your lifestyle and your partner is accepting/intelligent enough to understand your chemical recreation then I don’t think there will be much of a problem as long as you are both comfortable and compromises can still be made.
In the second case I believe your partner will have to be basically part of ‘the scene’ or be amazingly understanding. It would take a strong personality to continue a relationship if (and again I use myself as an example) I worked full time, 8.30-6-8pm, sometimes some sat’s, come home, cook dinner watch a bit of tellie or jump on the computer. Then weekends disappear in a haze of clubs/raves, E, speed, cones etc) only to start work again Monday. You don’t get much ‘quality’ time unless your partner lives with you or goes out with you. You basically don’t get time to do anything else.
If you are the student or unemployed type then you can either look at it as “Fuck this is one huge party and I’m going ballistic until I get a job and settle down some”, or “This will now become the way of life for me, my partner will have to be accepting of who I am and identify with the scene if I am to have a serious relationship”. In the ‘party’ instance I cannot realistically believe you will have one of those relationships that will go on and on, sure you may have some meaningful ones but they will just be ‘play’ relationships. You know it. I know it. Its cool, been there its fun. Its not going to last. Don’t accept it, pull down the haze of denial and enjoy
.
The second instance I suppose a relationship isn’t really going to work unless your partner is part of the scene. If not then you will either have to change your lifestyle (well it has been done… love is fairly potent I suppose!) or move on. If neither of you can either accept or compromise then this probably isn’t the relationship for. Accept it.
The last instance I can’t really comment on except I suppose to have a good stab at it.
I suppose due to the illicitness of drugs and especially the profound experiences of the psychedelic’s will (hmmmm… ‘limit’ is not a good word here but I’m using it anyway) limit the circle of people you move about in, especially those that you fully disclose what sort of lifestyle you lead. To the extreme you will live out of a comby van, eat lentils, smell and say ‘man’ a lot. More moderately though it will just mean you move in circles that are interesting and more open minded than your ‘suit and tie’ or ‘mum and dad’s’. In this case your partner would have to fit well into these stereotypes otherwise the chances may be slim of sustaining a working relationship.
...well that was my stab. There are a lot of ‘maybe’s and ‘perhaps’s and the like in there. I would welcome comment, feel free to rip me apart constructively – its all good.
