E-Z test,and lots of stress.Melb pill report and Yap,Yap,Yap!!!

How-do bluelighters,hope you all had a wicked weekend and having a cool recovery E-Z tested some pills last night.But first I just want to YAP!
Ive only sleeped 8 friday nights this year.When I do eventually sleep on fridays(meaning not going out or droping a pill)I somehow manage to still have a pill on sat or sun,or etc...Last count,because I keep a diary,was 60 pill ide consumed ,by august.Number is much higher now!
Yes I am burning out!
But I just love ecstasy.LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!
I have a saying;E is for enjoyment,E is not for escape.Ive sort of lost that and now I feal like E is for everything!
This weekend I couldnt make it to Kryle castel,because I could have lost my job.My computer was taken from me,and my wicked mountain bike snaped in two!
Was going to take sunday off work to recover from Kryle,but decided to work because I need cash for a new P.C,and of course a new ride!For some fuck'n reason my effort with responsability,allways seam to get tosed back at me with negativety.
Trying to do the right thing by my employer,and myself,I lose my job.Only because I mentioned the possability of having sunday off.Which I was going to work anyway.From that I became untrustworthy.
Im sick of being nice,need to be more assertive.Screw all suits!Excuse the languge and the spelling as im coming down off a pill ,which i had last night manly for the reason,to get waisted.The good old escape reality reason!
Well I just feal real bumed lately about almost F%%#n everything.Seems like all I give out,which is 98% positive,allways seam to make me go backwards,everything allways finds a way back to me,in negative.Oh shit now I am yapping hardcore,hope I make sence,because my life dosnt at the moment!Sorry to ramble,but it just feals nice to get some shit off my chest.Even if it dosnt make sence what Ive writen.Ive goten some shit out of me by typing a post on a board full of wicked people.Much better than going out and ODing at the world,which I tend to do.Im now going to shut up,have a cone and come back,with a pill report...
Well that cone was just ace Now pill report.
OK last week I had a euro and it was the bomb!From the old batch.Oh yummie
Last night had a new green euro.Dosnt look like the old batch.Dark green, black,grey speckles euro dollar stamped really dodgy,crumbly and a split on the back.Not the same euros.You know once you see!
Tested with e-z tester;turned burgandy quik,and then bits went black. Speed tab(nice)
Seahorses;torquise print of a seahorse no split on back,tested;red to burgandy slow-med
Sunshine tested;red burgandy,fast.All have speed like subs(speed tabs)
Mickeys,Disneys;red to white slow.speed like and others.
My self havnt had seahorse,or disneys.Wont have a disney.Everybody says there shit.
Had sunshines,speedy and not storong at that!
New euros.Had on a empty stomach.Kiked in about 1 hour after I chewed and sucked it.Nice not strong speeding with a wiered E head fealing.Last a while but not strong.Had cones about 5 hours later and they fucked me!All of the above not recomended!Sunshine is good if a CU puts you on your ass and you dont want to have lines.
Well thats it for now I think,SORRY about the lenght of this post.
pEacE LovE aNd HappinEss,to all you wicked bluelighters.
Chaos
-pErry nEads HugZ-
XOXO

Cheer up chaos, It'll all be OK
And you can gurn at us anytime

Cheers Smurf.Thanks
The worst thing is I dont have my P.C anymore.Its good to send e-mails to people,especialy wene you realy want to unload,but dont wont to see anyone!Well Im not going to get to deep,which I would have,but I can hear south park in the back ground.So that should also put a smile on my face.The other smile came from you Cheers
Hopefully my next posts will be back to normal.Bye
pEacE LovE aNd HappinEss
Chaos

*hugs*

Chaos, what can I say. Get out of the city for a few days. Go down the Prom. Sit on a secluded beach; listen to the waves. Let their rhythm mesmerize you. Let your thoughts flow.
Alternatively, get into the bush or find a mountain. Escape for a few days.
If you are stuck in the city. Go for run, or something. Get the endorphins flowing.
Hope thing work out.

Heya there CHAOS!
F#@*ing Bummer your going through a downwards stage. *hug* I think i tend to agree with what stone has said though, pretty much just go away for a few days. Grab your gf or some good mates, and just go away, get outta the city and enjoy the nature out there. Fresh air, no work to bother you, no people on your back, fuck them all! Your probly thinking how do i get away if i got a job to goto, but dont ya get a few X-MAS days off or someshit?
Perhpas use them days to get away.
But hey, thats only a suggestion buddy Dont *HAVE* to do that...*shrug*
What else can i say? Dunno really? Just hope that everything does go away, and your back to normal without putting up with all the bullshit around ya
ALL THE BEST CHAOS!
Klownz.
p.s.
PINK POUNDS (£) (new imports are meant to be fucking good)
p.p.s.
SMile ;P

Thank you,thank you,thank you.Smile on my face.Yeah geting away sounds like the thing to do. stone just mentioning the Prom,brought back great memories,and yeah thats what Ive got to do.Get away!Ive gotten to use to the city and all its amenities.
Yeah all I used to think about was geting away.Riding through the bush sitting in the river,and just chilling.I just feal like Ive done everything,seen everything,been everywere,in all diffrent shapes and sizes,if you know what I mean(done everything in every type of medium).Maybe I do have to,just get away and remember what its all about.But all the craps still going to be here.
I guess know would be the time,seeing as though I have no job now,and the weathers nice.But no job means no money.Yeah you can get away,and it wount be costly,its always costly to me.I need my amenities.Just like now.my computer is f&^ked,but I run to my friends house everyday to use it.But I dont need to realy use it.Its not a necessity,but I have to use it!Im to used to,not having everything!My P.C problem is soon under control,im upgrading this week,so that makes me happy.I think e-mails are great,and you guys ROCK (bluelighters).
Thanks,all you wicked ppl,all of the above its just ace to now that theirs still people who just care about the well being of others.Smiles
O.K rambling again,but I only just begun.He He!
Thanks,Cheers,Smiles and HugZ.I shell enjoy the rest of my day,so far nothing has gone wrong.
Ive just been realising,again,that ther are great people.Prof,you guys and I musnt forget,the guy,whos P.C im useing.He and his house mate are just two ace people,who are always here for me,they are unconditional friends,which I sometimes forget.Thats why sometimes its easier to type things on a computer for me.Rambling again.
Bye.
pEacE LovE aNd HappinEss
Chaos.

Just thought I'd share my c*nt of a day....
I had a kid ride out in front of my car today, and I hit him. Luckily I was only doing about 20km/h, the kid is alright (well, as far as I know....his mother didn't even take him to the doctor!) and my car only has a tiny scratch....but that kinda shit can freak you out!
The poor kid was so freaked out, and I ran to tell his mother and she just goes "oh" and walks calmly around to the scene, then proceeds to whinge at the kid for damaging his bike. She didn't even bother to give the poor kid a hug It sucks to know there's some uncaring people out there
I shouldn't be rambling on about this in the pill reports section...but I thought I'd show you how lucky you are to have people care about you Chaos, when there's so many awful people out there.
Hope you're feeling better

Okay, now I wish I read these posts yesterday....to Mr.It's Chaos.....reading your post reminded me of how I used to feel and I just wanted to let you know, there IS light at the end of the tunnel! I always felt like I was putting out 98% positive and getting shit back, and I felt so drained and fed up and at times, angry. So one day I thought "Fuck this, I'm sick of getting stomped on, from now, I come first, I deserve better than this" and stopped giving so much of myself and just started looking after me....now, I ask for what I want, I say what I feel (with tact) and you know what's happened? I feel wicked! Everything is falling into place for me, as we speak, I have beautiful new friends who love me for me, and everything I put out before, I am getting back through these beautiful people, I am still out of work, but I have direction now and I feel important, I feel loved, I have a beautiful boyfriend, I have a wonderful best friend who I've been searching for for most of my life....it's all fallen into place.
The law of karma man. All energy must return to it's original source.....and ten fold at that....it WILL work out, I'm telling you, I promise you that.
AND, to the person who hit that kid on his bike (I'm really sorry I can't remember your name and I know that's really rude....sorry) I don't understand some parents these days, that poor child would have freaked, and his Mum didn't cuddle or soothe him....but one day, YOU will make a better parent AND YOU did the right thing by finding his Mum, you could have just driven off, and some people would, I know it gives you a scare, I've been in a few accidents myself and it takes a while to feel comfortable on the roads again, but you did the right thing, and as much as you could do. You should give yourself a big hug (or get yourself an icecream or something) because you did the right thing. Yeah.
Much Love to all,
Beckie xxxx
------------------
"You have to dance like nobody's watching, and love like you're not gonna get hurt."

I had to stop to make sure my car was alright (just kidding)
The mother came into work today, and said the kid was fine, no damage done (although she saw me, and didn't even bother to inform me, I had to ask her how he was...maybe she assumes I care as little as she does )
I too have tried doing that looking after #1 thing, but I've tried it so many times and it never works! Was that your first try beckie? do I have to persevere, or should I just accept my destiny?

Hello to all you beautiful ppls Thanks again for listening,no,reading,and most of all thanks for your opinions and advice.
Beckie,thanks for the doof to the head.(good doof)Yeah thats right,look out for No1.Not that I dont care for others.Im always one who care to much about others,and always will.I just have to be more assertive!
The last two days of my life have been so chaotik,that I chilled out enough to think about myself.and man I rememberd that thinks can be good,if I can take it one step at a time!Only time will tell!
Joelle,yeah been on both ends of your little tale.I ran across a road and grabed a 3year old from being doofed by a car.That totally freaked me out.Same,when the mother came around she acked up at the poor kid for being lost!
Just remember that you took some care in that kids well being,and Im not one to say this but,it all comes back to you,Double Positive.Just like Beckie said, Carma.
Well thanks again evrybody Would mention all your names but you know who your are,All Of The Above.
pEacE LovE aNd HappinEss
Chaos
~pErrys gEting hugZ~