Are you living?

Sounds like a pretty stupid question... why of course I am... I breath, I move, I talk, I work, I persue etc etc.

Am I living or am I existing?

I had a relevation come to me awhile back that made me realise that amid the day to day fray of "life" I had forgotten how to live - maybe forgotten isn't the only word I should use, perhaps I should say I had not allowed myself time to live.

The other day while sitting in the doctors surgery while scrumaging through the inane magazines provided, I came across an article in regards to people who had cosen to "down size" their lives. I won't bore you with the detail, but the jist of it consists of replacing things in your life that are less stressful and less time consuming in order to free up time to "live" Such as taking a job with less responsibility and/or pay in order to gain more physical time - achieved from less working hours or not being exhausted at the end of the day.

Now I'm not saying I've adopted this philosophy but it has made me realise how I had been living my life the past couple of years. It has been very much career orientated, all the while sacrificing a social/family life due to many limitations. I've recently made steps to rectify this imbalance and deidcate time for the other things in life that I enjoy - no easy task at times. I've noticed a positive change in me and my stress levels - whether sustained or not time will tell.

So are you letting life slip you by because you've dedicated your life to something all time consuming? Is it possible within today's society to have a successful full time career and have the time to enjoy other activities? Is "down sizing" a viable option?

I don't expect this thread to get many responses, but I'm interested to hear any opinions

I think i am beginning to live.

Before having my son i worked 2 jobs, weekends and nights included. I had very little time for my boyfriend or friends and family. I went out a bit but not much. I was always tired and cranky - this helped ruin my relationship.

After i had my baby and stopped working i sat at home and didn't really do a lot. It was a big change from working all the time and suddenly not sleeping! I wanted people to visit me, under the impression i couldn't go, or didn't want to go, anywhere because of my son.

Over Christmas, my mother (who lived about 400km away) took my son for a week so i go camping and had some time to myself. I met someone that was a great inspiration for me in this time and realised that you have to get out and experience life, make the effort to see your friends and just enjoy life!

Right now, i am studying one day a week - i try to catch up with my uni friends when im there, and after hours as well.

Im working a couple days a week - I'm trying to make it to work social functions and make sure i speak to everyone. I find that only working casual means i dont get stressed at work because im not there every day and if i do something wrong it's forgotten by the time i'm there again. I go to working thinking i love my job! And so this keeps me motivated and therefore keeps my managers happy.

I'm working a second job accasionally as well, a few hours in the evening once every few weeks and altho it is paid very poorly, i love it and i love the people. And i love the time to myself in my car with the music up and not a baby in the back!

As for days off.. i try to cram them as full as i can with catching up with as many of my mates as i can, seeing my family. I have been going out clubbing a fair bit as well, and finding that im staying late and having fun, often going out straight and having a ball. For the first time ever, i am busy every day but it's something fun

The only drawback is, i feel back that my son is at my mother's too much.. This might only be 2 days a week but i feel i am not there enough for him. I dont know how i could put him in childcare 5 days a week and return to full time work!!

When people ask me how my son is, i say, he is one now, and so many people just say "where has the time gone" and that is it - a year has passed by and they have done nothing.. they are still in the same job, doing the same thing, not living. I feel i have achieved a lot in the last 3 months and i feel fantastic for it

Life is here to be lived... dont get caught up in the daily grind and make sure you enjoy yourself!!

I tried to respond but damn just couldn't get the words right

I woke up yesterday and upon realising mr samadhi hadn't come home from his friends, with no message/sms to let me know where he was, instinctively knew something had happened so i called all the major hospitals in brisbane, to no avail. Then, a police car came to our house and 2 police came to my door...when i saw them, i thought my husband was dead. They then told me that he was had been involved in a car accident, and was in ICU down at the gold coast hospital on a ventilator. My worst nightmare/fear had been realised.

The doctors had to sedate him because it was a single car crash (mr s saw a car in front of him and brakes/swerved to avoid it, but it didn't stop when he crashed) and they didn't know if he had spinal injuries, etc (hence the ICU, sedation and intubation). To cut a long story short, he's ok and he's literally walked away from an accident that, by rights, should have killed him. His car is completely written of (yes, hastey, the HSV 5000), but hey, you can replace a car, but not a Mr Samadhi.

He's safe and sound at home, with me... we've been talking all night (we've both been unable to sleep..he keeps going over the accident and i can't forget those police at my door and the terror it evoked)... and we've both realised that if we weren't "living" before, we sure as hell are going to start now. Guys, life is a gift and can be snatched from both you and those who love and adore you in the blink of an eye. The incidental petty crap JUST DOESN'T MATTER. Take it from someone who for a few seconds thought she'd lost the light in her life, and for a couple of hours thought she was going to. It's amazing how many thoughts you can have in a few seconds. All the arguments over stupid shit, all the snappiness because you've both had a bad day...it's all crap. Hold on to the good things in your life, you just don't kow when they may not be there anymore...

I'm not, at all.

When I wake up in the morning, I wait impatiently for the day to end. When I go to sleep, I feel depressed because I'll have to wake up and do the same thing the next day. Me "doing something" means going to the supermarket, or if I'm feeling really brave going to our nearby Westfield. I spent a good two years doing almost literally nothing - not working, not studying, not going out, just doing nothing. Looking back on that now is horrible, I wasted so much time.

I'm trying to "upsize" my life to help me live more. My daughter is becoming more personable and interactive as she gets older (she's 10 months now) and that makes me feel more positive towards a whole lot of things. It makes me excited about her 1st birthday party, her first day of kindy, her school plays, and so on. I'm excited about being a real mum - at the moment I tend to feel more like a babysitter, or a food machine.

I'm studying now, which does feel like living. My idea of "living" has always involved the business world. I'm looking forward to having a satisfying career wherein I get to use my brain and make exciting decisions. Working from home makes me feel more independent and kind of accomplished. Accomplishment is a big deal for me, and the more successful I feel the more fulfilled I am (is that a bad thing?).

My idea of living life isn't travelling (I don't like feeling uprooted, I've done my share of travelling for the time being). It isn't necessarily spending days hanging out with my friends and not achieving anything. I'm all about academic and career achievement. I want to achieve EVERYTHING. My parents taught me (unintentionally, perhaps) that it's just vital to be brilliant at everything that will help you have a fulfilling career. And you know, I do want to spend a fairly large portion of my life in the board room - and NOT making coffee, let me tell you. If I go and spend a day in the park with my family or some other mums, that's nice. If I spend two days that way, that's wasteful.

I think what I'm trying to say (I had a very early morning with a flat battery, please excuse my incoherence ) is that my life will be more fulfilling when I've got some more balance. I spent so much time in abusive relationships, with debt, instability, "freedom" (no one to come home to) and drunkenness that the idea of having a normal nuclear family with a shiny new Toyota and a white-collar job, where the weekends are allocated to weekend stuff like Saturday morning sport and Sunday roast really, really appeals to me. I feel like that would be a good balance. I don't feel, and don't recall ever feeling that I need to jump out of a plane to feel alive (I'd probably have a heart attack, ironically), or that sitting around at home is very constructive for me. I adore my family and love spending time with them, but I've gotten to a point where I want to have other priorities in my life as well. Balance. Yeah.

I don't think I answered the question at all, but it was nice to have a vent.

samadhi, you posted while I was typing my crap. I'm so glad your husband is alright. I've never had to go down to the ICU to visit mine, but I got a phone call once from a man who didn't speak very good English, who said something like "Do you know my husband's name? He's been in a car accident." And then he just paused for about 2 minutes. The FEAR and the HORROR was overwhelming.

Sometimes I just cry quietly by myself because I love and appreciate him so much more than I let on. Thanks for the reminder.

omg Mrs Samadhi. I'm so thankful he's ok! - give him my best. I can only begin imagine how horrible and frieghtening it must have been

*hugs you both*

I am definiely living life to the full and have only really been doing so in the past three years. I have an active social life and my days off are filled with doing fun things with my son and visiting friends and going out. I'm on my way again with my career after a big break from it and i appreciate everything in life and what life has to offer

What your talking about haste kind of reminded me of feng shui which i am a big believer of such as clearing out clutter and un importance in your life to make room for new energies to flow more freely

I've all but stopped my mucking about in life. I'm 29 now and I feel that it's time that I work hard. All I did was work hard and play hard for four years and I burned myself out. I've taken on a job with more stress and with long hours, so I have to choose how I spend my free time wisely.

wow talk about learning the hard way samadhi. thank god your man is ok, all the best for you two!

as for me, i'm definately living. i have a crappy job and i'm shit broke but i have a man i love so much and he loves me. i live in the best city in the world with the best friends ever and a great family all the way over in tassie who've been there for me forever.

thats really all there is to it. i know i have to focus on my career more and i'm slowly getting there. but when it comes down to it, i'm very happy at where i am and that i'm alive not just existing.

I'm studying full time, working part time and going out and partying and stuff.

But I still feel my life is empty, with no meaning or purpose and I'm essentially just amusing myself in the waiting room of death waiting for him/her to call my name.

I don't live my life, I don't even think exist is a good description. I feel like I just am.

I'm going through the motions, i'm not living, i feel stuck in daily routine. I should have finished uni last year, i've got 3 hours a week at uni and about the same next semester. I work weekends and a couple of days during the week. I hardly go out anymore, i'm hardly at uni to be motivated to concentrate on my study. I get one day off a week. I don't sleep well anymore, i just lie in bed for hours, read a book or get depressed and fall off to sleep. I don't give a thought towards living, i think about what i can do to get through the day without hassel.

I guess if i can get through this year then i can start making some choices in my life. What's worse is i feel i shouldn't be like this, there are so many people in worse position than myself.

At the moment - EXISTING

sometimes i feel like i am really living, but while im studying and working part time, it just feels like i am in a waiting room so close to the door opening and saying "come and live your real life!"

Sometimes living is one of the hardest things to do...

When all you have is yourself its kind of a scary thought.

But I am so alive

Living - yeah.
I am genuinely happy and satisfied with how things are going. Drifting away from long-time friends but have made some truly great new ones recently.

I am studying part-time which already makes me feel like I am living more than when I was working last year. Gives me a purpose and a goal.
Been going out and having very good nights.
Started to see a really sweet girl.

Things could easily change and it has happened before, but right now, I am certainly living. Happily living.

Jesus, samadhi...that's so scary...I'm so glad he's okay...

I'm living; I'm not 100% happy with every part of my life, there are still things I need to alter, but that's all part of the journey.

Less than a year ago though I hated life so much that all I wanted was for it to be over. So I think where I am now is a vast improvement.

To anyone who is only surviving instead of living, I've just got this to say...the only person who can change that is you. Do whatever you have to no matter how drastic to improve yourself, because you may not get another chance. And like samadhi said, hold on to the people you love because ultimately it doesn't take much for that to be gone. We're here for a good time,not a long time...make the most of it.

Great topic, haste!

Shnouzerpuff said:

I am studying part-time which already makes me feel like I am living more than when I was working last year. Gives me a purpose and a goal.

Click to expand...

I think i should really do that, I like the sound of the purpose and goal. I didnt go to university, but went on to the workforce so to speak. Although i think that in all aspects of my life i live for the moment, I always want more. Too many times I have had great entrepenurial ideas, but havent acted on them only too seem them developed a couple of months/years later by someone else.

Hmm interesting question.
I dont think im living.

As a teenager, my life has been, well relitivly short, but I still dont belive im living.

I went through serious depression for the last 4 years, (woo, death yay. NOT), and am only now being to snap out of it. The only thing that brought me out was my last girlfriend who I loved dearly. However, now that im 'out' I have started taking drugs quite heavily, and im regreting doing so. I go out every weekend, I have 40-50 numbers of people I cant even remember. I go out to raves just to feel alive, with the music and the people everywhere. I cant stay at home due to my parents fucking things up in their life which they blame on me, so I stay at home as little as possible. I smoke way more than I should, I binge drink, I ruin things for myself, and my education is going quite quickly up shit creek.

I try to fool myself into thinking everythings allright, but I know deep down that things are still wrong. People say im stong, but im far from it.

Sorry if this is a heavy post, but its been floating in my head for a while.

In all honesty... i think Haste has consumed too many drugs.

But seriously, I think my life is as prioritised as it could be without bein' rigid and constrained.
I balance Uni and Work with goin' out and living... or at least what I consider living to be.
Yay for me.

PEACE

One thing that made me realise not to worry too much about a career move when I was young is that I was working at a tattoo + body piercing place (roughly 10 years ago now) the body piercer who was in his late 40s had a heart attack one day while he was working in a career, long hours, lots of stress sort of executive position. After recovering, being told by professionals it was due to stress, he decided to live his life. He was a career orientated guy with not much else happening except long hours, stress for not that much return (money doesn't always bring happiness).

He then switched careers, became a body piercer, started skydiving, did what he wanted to and it appears to have taken years off his age (look/feeling/expression). I have lived my life to a similar sort of thing, doing what I want, career being second in mind as opposed to really enjoying myself.

I may not own houses, living the 'australian dream' (whatever that is) but I can say I am one of the happiest, healthiest *content* people about. My job is actually 'safe' to say, pay is good and I pretty much work the hours that I want to. I have started to save a lot of my disposable income now whereas I used to spend most of it.

I will not let myself get put into a career orientated stress related 'condition' known as life for many people. My life is actually living and now at age 31, I am starting to save a bit of money and starting to get the itch to travel. I have never cared about travelling before but now I think I'll see some things outside of Australia why I can actually afford it.

Oh one thing, I never went to work in a career job (let alone any job that was full time) until I was around the age of 25/26. I spent the ages from 19-25 working part time (1-3 days a week) while just enjoying my life, literally carefree. I can saw 10 years later, it was the right thing to do





Mrs samadhi, please give my best wishes to Mr samadhi. It was a great shock to read what happened. From my 3 years on bluelight, you tend to 'know someone' from reading their posts and I feel I know Mr samadhi a bit and reading your post really worried me but I hope he recovers 100% and I am pretty sure you guys will 'live your lifes' in future (as well as the past) great and to the fullest in whatever aspect you can