Relationships

I guess I need to elaborate a little from the title.

What are your preferences with reguards to sexual relations with people.
Do you prefer to be involved in a relationship with a person, based of love etc., or are you simply there for a bit of casual? *wink wink*
What are your feelings on relationships in general and what has shaped these feelings?
Are they embedded from parental influence during your life or have certain events established how you feel?

Myself... I am definately a relationship man.
Unlike everyone I know I prefer to be in a relationship with someone.
Fucking some random, although good , just doesn't have the same 'feeling' as being with someone you love.
The feeling of being happy to give everything to the person you love is unparallel.
I think my feelings on this matter have been established by my parents and solidified in the relationships I have been in.
I seem to get 'caught up' in long relationships and thus it seems normal to me to be together with someone all the time, although I don't know if my lust (excellent choice of word ) for a strong relationship is healthy.
I'll elaborate later.. I have to go to work now... alone.
PEACE

Relationshits

Click to expand...

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up for me.

agree with you homeboy
relationships are all the go when u are in the right mindframe for them
one night stands just AINT my thing (not like i have done them before, but i can guess)

Well i think im weird. I refuse to just be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. I think its a stupid concept... Im way too independent.

I dont mind one night things here and there- but i definately would prefer to be in a relationship over those... But i dont just go out with any old person... there has to be a connection *sigh*.

Blah. This topic sucks. for me anyway...

Miss relationship failure.

i used to like the relationship idea. definitely a past tense there.

now, i advocate (but can never achieve) casual sex. it's an unfortunate position. however, i'm not totally averse to having a r/ship, it's just the fact that i'm so fussy, and really doubt that i'll find anyone that i could properly connect with.

*sigh*

Its been years since i was single. And im only 18. As it seams, my last 2 relationships have ended and i picked up another one the next week.. or day.. Its not that i need a companion. I think... Meh I dont know what I think.
I'll go now.
.fuck.

Personally, I think I'm at the worst possible stage in life for a relationship.

Too young to buckle down and give it the seriousness it deserves. But old enough that my younger-day relationship ideals have been shattered and need reassessing.

And I really don't feel lonely enough to wanna find someone to share all of my life with at the moment. I've found that in my closest friends.

But I don't mind relationships as long as they're not taken too seriously.

The real question... Does that 'special someone' exist?
And if so, will I ever find them?

Stop worrying about it.

"My mama said
You can’t hurry love
No, you’ll just have to wait
She said love don’t come easy
But it’s a game of give and take
You can’t hurry love
No, you’ll just have to wait
Just trust in a good time
No matter how long it takes" - Diana Ross

Cheesy but tue.

I'm really mixed up with the issue - I long for a relationship, but as soon as I get one I stuff it up out of fear (due to a long list of failures)

I've resigned myself to being single until I'm in a better frame of mind, therefore avoiding hurting myself and anyone else.

^^^ Yeah im with you on that one haste...

Its weird, im loads happier when im not in a relationship... cant be myself, i dunno. Meh.

I think it just comes to finding the right person who likes you back.

I've been in casual relationships before but they were not based on sex rather then friendship (sex was just a bonus) I can't see being with someone in a non commited relationship purely for sex...you need to have a friendship relationship. Actually i have been in a on again off again casual friendship based relationship for the past four years and having been in three relationships in between those four years.( WE both know we have no perment future in marrige or whatever because our lifestyles and family life are diffrent) It's kinda weird i guess although it's more like having a boyfriend on call and at the press of a button, he's so whipped but he likes it that way hehehe

Been single for a year now and i'm not interested in casual one night stands or anything. I'm waiting for someone to sweep me off my feet and treat me like a princess *sighs* *waits* ho humm...i'm wondering if it will ever happen...i'm a good person...i'm fun to be around...i have a positive outlook....i don't think i'm too unattractive...whats wrong with me? Why aren't i good enough for someone to want to keep?

I'm with Tal though i think connection is most important. I'm ready for a relationship but i'm trying not to look because i know that someone will come when the universe says it's the right time *waits some more*

saying that though i'm happy being single. I like doing what i want when i want etc etc and i'm just enjoying my whole self discovery and exploration process

I most definitely , wholeheartedly and utterly fall in the "relationship" category.

Let's put it this way... I'm 29 now. I started my first serious relationship when I was 16. Since then, I've only been single for a total of 6 months.

I kid you not, 6 months in 13 years. I had a four year relationship, then 6 months single, then another 4 year relationship, then straight after that a 3 year relationship (still going strong).

Guess you could call me the ultimate serial monogamist :D

I adore being with someone - it's where I feel my most natural and free (no that's not a typo). There's a certain freedom in having someone who completely backs you up, supports you and encourages you; you're free of that agonising self-analysis and doubt which seems to come with being single. (well it did for me)

That's not to say I didn't enjoy my 6 months of wild fun - and believe me, I did make the most of it

Killing_time said:

What are your feelings on relationships in general and what has shaped these feelings?
Are they embedded from parental influence during your life or have certain events established how you feel?

Click to expand...

That's an interesting question. On the surface any psychologist would say I should be totally relationship-shy based on my parent's experience: my mum was divorced TWICE by the time I was 16, and hasn't had a solid, dependable relationship since. She tends to hook up with players who cheat on her

Still, despite all that she does still believe in marriage and love, and has told me so many times - perhaps it's her attitude rather than her experiences which has sunk in.

I tend to think our childhood experiences form only part of our attitude towards love - personality plays a big role. I'm a romantic and an idealist at heart, and I think a lot of my success with long-term relationships has come from the fact I see the best in people, expect the best of them, and give love a chance to develop.

Taliana I think connection is important too, but rarely is there ever an INSTANT connection. I think that only happens in movies. In my experience yes, you have to have something at the start, but that true connection starts to happen later. It really is a case of sticking in there and seeing what develops. The two of you sort of "grow into" each other, if that makes any sense.

I don't believe in soulmates, or that "perfect" person for someone. The magic happens within the paradigm of your commitment to each other, the experiences you share, and the things which bond you. That can sometimes take time

Could this be the beginning of a new singles thread? Sure hope so!

As for me, I don't run around looking for someone to have a relationship with, but when I do find someone then I go for it. This means long periods in and out of relationships, however I'm never bitter about what state I'm in.

i like the idea of relationships and all, it's just that i always seem to fuck them up. either that or i fall for guys that i can't really have so it always ends rather quickly. but i'm still not up for one night stands with strangers. as other's have mentioned, there needs to be that connection or something that makes it feel special. bah, i don't know what i want, i'm getting confused just trying to answer this....

Well i think im weird. I refuse to just be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. I think its a stupid concept... Im way too independent.
I dont mind one night things here and there- but i definately would prefer to be in a relationship over those... But i dont just go out with any old person... there has to be a connection *sigh*.

Click to expand...

I don't think you're weird ... I'm pretty much the same. Although I don't really like casual things and would waaaayyy prefer to be in a relationship i'm not going to go out and get a boyfriend just for the hell of it. the connection i'm looking for is pretty extreme right now... hehe... maybe it is unrealistic to think that i can find someone almost perfect for me, but then again maybe it isn't. the last relationship i was in was absolutely terrible. and while it was going to have someone there for me, someone just to hang around with etc. i look back on it and think why the fuck didn't i get out of it sooner? that's why the next person i enter a relationship with has to be very special. i would never begin a relationship that would turn out like my last one again- a fricken waste of time and pain.

Taliana and Haste, I'm in yr boat. I refuse to be in a relationship just for the sake of it and have a go at my older brother because he does!
When I am in one I generally end up stuffing it up in the first two wks and pushing people away.
Its not even as if I like casual meaningless sex or do it that much but I will generally be seeing someone who isn't committed....hehe...more commonly known as a fuck buddy

Relationships, bleah. It seems that whenever I've gotten close to someone it was usually just so they could repeatedly stab me in the back when I was hugging them. But don't get me wrong, I'm not up for those crazy single sex antics either. I've been single for about a year now and onl had sex twice in that period (both were moment when I was WAY too drunk to either a)care I was having sex, b)care that I was not having sex).

After reading the above you may think me a cynic about the whole love issue, but I'm really not. I believe that somewhere, out there (beneath the pale moonlight... sorry), my "soulmate" exists, I just have to be careful when I meet her though, as judging by past experience she's just as likely to kiss me or hit me on the head with a brick...

i find that relationships are weird, they never turn out how u expect. half the time u spend looking for a partner u wish u could meet that special someone, and when u finally think u've found them and fall compleatly in love with them u find that they dont feel the same at all or they break your heart (or the other case u live happily ever after). ive been single for 18ish months now and yes i do want a relatinoship but cant seem to find one so basically ive decided one thing with the girl i want to get into a relationship with: i aint gonna push for a relationship but give hints here and there, if one night somethin happens, well so be it, it will happen in its own time meanwhile im happy being friends. but i tell you its a fukin pain in the ass being in love with one of you're best friends ohhh what am i gonna do

*runs away into a corner and hugs knees*