View Full Version : Why do you use drugs???

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17-11-2003, 23:32
I would like people who post in this thread to seriously think about there reasons, not just simply put for fun or to get high.

I guess for me, it is easy for me to say that also, but if I step back and look more carefully I think I may find other things..........so that is what I am going to try and do.

A little background........I am 43, single, never married, male, self employed and financially OK.

As a teenager I was introduced to grass but never really enjoyed it that much, I have very occasionally tried it in recent years and been very ill from its effects each time..........reason for use..........initially experimentation, possibly some peer pressure and more recently to be sociable......although I am a little confused about that as i knew it would screw me big time.

Basically therefore I led a drug free life until about five years ago when a friend of mine became addicted to Heroin. I did my best to help him and spent a lot of time reading books to learn more about drugs, H in particular.

My friend managed to kick it after a three year battle to stop........he has now been off for about two years.

I guess though that all my reading educated me to the fact that many drugs were nowhere near as dangerous as what I had thought they were.

Arround the same time as i was reading, another friend invited me to try speed with him.........I trusted him and he gave me quite a run down on evry thing that i would experience.........far better explanation than anything I had ever read and I knew he was being honest.

I agreed to try it and after the initial experience, I was hungry for more and used it on about ten occasions over a six month period.

Initially my reasons for taking speed were curiosity, but after the first time when I experienced a powerful feeling of friendship brought on mainly by the depth of the conversation that was inspired, it became more for wanting to experience that quality of friendship once again.

I am satisfied that this was definitely a recreational use in the true sense of the word..........although maybe the fact that I was fullfilling that need suggested that possibly it was because I was and still do feel pretty lonely and desperate for some love in my life.

Those days stopped rather abruptly when my friend met a new lady and she didnt like him spending time with me, we have never been speeding together since and the friendship has waned somewhat to the point where I rarely see him any more, especially since he was married.

At various parties over the past couple of years I had been offered and taken a single ecstasy tablet and on each occasion........maybe up to a dozen or so, I had failed to feel any effects.

After finding this site, I was able to discover that there were a lot of crap pills out there and also that I may need to take a little more than a single pill.

Finally late last year i experienced my first E.........that was definitely curiosity.

I have been using more or less every weekend now for the past 6 months or so.

Often on my own.....possibly 50 % of the time, 30 % with just one other person and 20% with a group at clubs etc.

The latter two are pretty much recreational however the use on my own probably began as an experiment but following that Im not so sure.

Possibly it is because I had nothing else other than maybe watching the box or spending time on the net.

I guess therefore it is for me a method of escaping the loneliness I often feel, particularly on weekends and while I am unsure about it and actually that is the main reason for starting this thread, maybe I am trying to escape from being a bit down sometimes as I no that when i drop i get a lift and feel so good about things.........well temporarily at least.

I guess ijn the end Im still not sure about why I use now but maybe by reading others thoughts on there own use, I will be able to see things more clearly, and just maybe by reading this it will help others to work out for themselves the real reasons why they use there drug of choice..

Sorry for the long post.......I guess if anyone got this far then you are a bit of a legend.

Thanks for reading my story.


18-11-2003, 00:27
I strongly recommend quiet, late night, drug fuelled discussions with your doppelganger (http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=56003)...

BigTrancer :)

PS: Can I merge this post into that thread?

18-11-2003, 00:49
Great post MazDan.

While I don't regard the average age factor as being important to my involvement on the board, I must admit it's somewhat encouraging to be reminded that there are others on the board who are around my age.

I also recommend merging with the thread BT suggested. That way your post will be guaranteed a certain immortality, as Pinger's "quiet, late night, drug fuelled discussions with your doppelganger" is generally regarded as being one of the special threads on this board, especially for those of us fortunate enough to be around when Pinger was a regular poster.

18-11-2003, 03:24
WOW! 8o thanks BT for recommending the old thread I uruge everyone who hasn't read it to do so.

18-11-2003, 03:26
becareful if your using E to escape some form of trouble or depression..........
they come back and bite you HARD! and this aint no jack russle terrier, this is a pit bull with lockjaw on your throat.

18-11-2003, 04:47
At the request of MazDan I'll leave this thread open. Please feel free to analyse your reasons for using drugs here.

BigTrancer :)

Insane Platypus
18-11-2003, 05:05
... because they provide glimpses of worlds and perceptions not normally observed.

18-11-2003, 05:17
I take pills / speed mainly because I enjoy going out on a saturday night and dancing to music.. I love the way the MDMA enhances the music, peaks me, and allows me to go hard all night...

I have no problems communicating with girls or males, but I do feel that when I'm on it, I connect better to others. But mainly I take drugs to enhance the appreciation of music..

18-11-2003, 06:07
LSD isn't a drug is it ? :\

It's a tool, and we are all workmen!

18-11-2003, 09:53
I guess upon entering the rave scene a while ago i was led to the interesting world of amphetamines , speed , mdma , meth or ice etc ...

At the start of this year after about 1 year of use i got very fed up with amphetamines , i don't get very excited about them they arn't my fancied drug i prefer consumption of alcohol!! I guess the MAIN reason for amphetamine use for me was to keep going all night , keep myself paced (on the dancefloor) and also of course .. for that feeling of well being.

The only drugs i do for personal enjoyment these days are pot and lsd , and i would have to say that 80% of the time i would do it on my own.
(I prefer not to take hallucinogens with more then 1 person, if i were with others i would rather enjoy there company without the influence of drugs! [Such as MDMA] they ruin your social life!!) reason? I love hallucinating , the change/escape in reality , feeling like a different person in a different existance. I find that lsd can really intensify any experience and i love the new experiences. As apose to amphetamines (for eg. MDMA) which is more of a Fun Time which is forced upon you..

Also when i was doing art throughout this past year i would find LSD & Pot to be an excellent tool , in helping me to see things which others couldn't and therefore expand on this aspect and create some great artworks!!!
I remember a few nights where i would take lsd and sketch (under the influence of Psy trance lol) It helped me to express my deep understanding of the music throughout my works, such a great experience.

Also i found lsd and pot helped me to produce tracks (in the form of electronica), when listening under the influence (to my tracks) i could hear hidden aspects (amplified through my senses) of the tunes and the next day i would incorperate these idea's into my tracks revealing the sounds for the rest of the people who havn't experienced hallucinations or are naieve to its power.

I think that in any form of creative work ive been able to dig out the secrets of music and art which these drugs let me see/hear/experience/explore and share them with everyone,

This is why .. i use drugs.

18-11-2003, 11:08
Why do i take drugs??
For the pure enjoyment and experience that it gives basically. That is a the main underlying reason why i take drugs..Along with the enhancement in certain areas..Such as music sounding better and other sensitory things.

But at first the reason for drug taking was probably based on peer pressure and wanting to fit in a particular social group..Now ive gone past the stage of 'do the drugs we do or get out' kinda phase with friends and so fourth..
Its all about the personal experiences I am able to take away from using particular drugs..I enjoy the experience!!
I want to be able to look back on the experiences ive had when im old and wrinkly and reminise about them with friends.
But some may ask.."isnt it sad that u need to take drugs to have fun etc"
Be that it may be true, i just think that im having fun in a different way.
i still have fun doing other activities..such as going to the movies..going out to dinner.. etc
Its just this particular activity of going out and gurning that i enjoy on the influence of drugs.
In moderation of course..So Party Safe!

18-11-2003, 11:17
On another note..refering to what TrikmA has said..Drugs enhance many other things..And they allow us to look at things from another point of view that we may couldnt have done in a normal state..Its the altered state that gives us such things as deep thoughts, revelations, envisions etc.
For people who have never taken drugs before are missing out in certain ways as they usually have a narrow view on things..
Some people who do use drugs such as TrikmA n myself and many others..Enjoy the open mindedness it gives us compared to what we are like in our normal states.

18-11-2003, 16:53
*** Warning Long Post *** :-)


First let me start by saying, I'm not trying to be condescending and I respect your right to do what you will on your own, but I must say; in my opinion MDMA should be taken with others, preferably friends, the closer the better. It is such a beautiful drug when you are social and mix with good friends, enough of that, to try and answer your question...i hope.

I also started late in life, when compared to most. I took my first pill at 35. I suspect that like you and I, most people that start taking MDMA later on in life do it for (the first time at least) completely different reasons to our younger peers.

I have never been into 'hard' drugs before, used (abused) alcohol from a tender age as with most in our country, smoke tabacco, did a little weed when younger but never really like the effects and did the occassional line of speed (i'm talking 1 per year from 1985-1990).

Although I hate to say it, I put myself in the 'mainstream' category of life styles. To quote Renton from trainspotting.....I "Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television. Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers...choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit crushing game shows, stuffing junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself.".....ok..ok...so I've got no kids, but did get married this year (and no plans to spawn). I had to quote that because I believe that, that quote. movie and subsequent soundtrack changed our lives.

So, even before I took MDMA that quote always rung true with me. I love my life, don't get me wrong, but always hated the being stuck in the lifestyle. Over the years drunken friday and saturday night parties turned into sunday arvo brunches, saturday morning calls to friends to finish the keg turned into breakfast at westend. Basically everyone i knew was getting old, doing what 'old' people did; becoming responsible, too responsibile, boring even sterile (socially i mean). I found it harder and harder to find friends who wanted to socialise away from the backyard, the BBQ scene.

So my wife and I (girlfriend at the time) decided that we should expand our horizons, not only socially but in all aspects of life. We started to travel, meet new people, we started to take small and measured risks (its in our nature, or should I say society, parents, school etc etc had conditioned us to so), we then started to take bigger risks like quit our permanent safe jobs and started our own business. We are still doing this, nearly 5 years ago and haven't regreated it all, in fact life is better for it.

So how does all of this lead to my drug taking experiments and experiences? Well it comes down to that decision to get off my ass and do something different to all my friends (they are still my friends too BTW). In my travels, a new younger friend offered me some eccy and being keen for new experience I accepted his offer.

So now whilst my older friends are all at home watching TV, feeding the kids, etc...I am usually out somewhere having fun with 'new' friends I've meet along the way (some people I've met i have maintained as friends for 5 years now), listening to new music, meeting new people, travelling and enjoying life to max (insert respective freshing drink ad here).

Fark.. What a rant, but thats how it happenned. I have pretty much stopped drinking, and pretty much stick to MDMA. Of course I try to maintain some moderation, don't want to lose the magic (in fact I do that but keeping an online journal, so i can't forget or fool myself into thinking its been longer that I think). The reason I continue to use the drug, well thats because it satisfies my need to 'rebel', it allows me to be very social, it occassionally fucks me up (like MDA), it helps me experience new things, like listening to trance, breaks etc which I now love and would have never listened to in the past. And it has allowed me to make some really good friends and one final thing is that it allows me to connect and bond with my wife like no other person. For me this is very important and as most 'blokes' will know a difficult thing to do.

I hope this helps you.

Be Safe.

19-11-2003, 01:04
my good mate takes pills to pick up

plain and simple

19-11-2003, 03:32
My names erba, and im a drugaholic.........

19-11-2003, 04:13
at first it was the whole.. to discover shit about myself... when the circle ends your realise you havent found too much lol

I take them because I do.

19-11-2003, 16:02
I like experiencing 'different' feelings.

Why? - I dont know.

19-11-2003, 16:38
So other people will think I'm cool ;)

But seriously, hedonistic escape I guess.

20-11-2003, 08:45

Wow..........that is amazing.

haha.........you have in so many ways, summed up so many of my own thoughts that I just couldnt quite get the typeing to push out.

I do know for a fact that the reason I have not followed the norm of marriage familyu etc is because i enjoy life so much and have no desire to get bogged down with family and stuff.

One day however I would love to be lucky enough to meet someone who shares those desires as you have.

I have some very close mates that are much younger than I..........all in their early twenties and I find there desires are far more suited to mine and we certainly enjoy each others company.

We do hit the club scene a fair bit together but its not always the same and I really enjoy my times at home alone where I can allow my mind to fully enjoy the experiences E offers and I guess, being a fairly deep thinker, I enjoy being able to delve even deeper.

The times I enjoy most of all are the long windsed and violently deep conversations with one or two others while Eing.

I enjoy the reading on this site and allow others experiencves to influence my own by being quite happy to try new ideas while on the drug.........haha, I have done some pretty wild stuff.

Thanks to all for the maturity of the posts and keep em rolling in.

20-11-2003, 10:05
For me its to be loved up.....oh yeah baby. So its mainly X for me.

I've always been a dreamer....so I dont really need them to escape, although I cant say Ive never used to forget on occasions. Luv it when Scotty beams me up 8)

20-11-2003, 10:40
Never been heavily into drugs. Weed bou 15 times, speed 3 times and pills once.
Dont do them for any other reason but to experience something different. If didnt touch it again it really wouldnt bother me.

21-11-2003, 02:22
Fun. Enlightenment. Self-Improvement. Temporary Perceptual Change.


.dR spgeddi
23-11-2003, 03:42
there is nothing wrong with a bit of healthy escapism.

23-11-2003, 04:45
I have a good think for a week why I use drugs.... I havent came up with a good reason..... I just like them and trying new things hence the quote "Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic."

Fuck knows.... I just like them and bit of escapism, especially with acid, mecaline/cacti, and other similar hallucation related drugs.

Not a really good reason.... guess I will have to have a other long think..... But I will just enjoy them for now while I have a think and will give you the answer in few years time =D

23-11-2003, 20:48
I take drugs because I enjoy the feelings they give me. I have experimented with alcohol, speed and pills and on a recent trip to Amsterdam I tried mushrooms as well. Mdma is my drug of choice although I would definitely take mushrooms again if I had the oppurtunity. Totally different feelings but both good in there own right. Like many, I totally disagreed with drugs until I started reading and exploring the 'truths'. Now, as long as I know the risks and likely affects a drug will have on me, I am willing to give most of them a try. Life is too short to die wandering, just knhow what you are getting yourself in for. :)

24-11-2003, 01:11
Drugs for me are a little like unusual foods, those said to be of an "acquired taste".

Before I first eat an odd tasting food there is usually some hesitation, perhaps reluctance and even caution depending upon its reputation (gourmet trip reports ;)).

If the food is interesting and doesn't taste too revolting, I'll usually try it again. If it doesn't agree with me I'll avoid it in future.

However, if the taste is yummy or becomes yummy with a few servings, I'll also weigh up as to whether having it too often is a good thing i.e. is it rich in fats, etc. which will usually determine how often I'll eat it. Some things are more tempting depending upon individual taste preference.

Some people are meat and 2 veg eaters, some experiment or indulge occasionally, while others dine regularly on a refined cuisine of taste sensations. Some are horrified at the thought of seafood or Haggis and will live and die never to experience the taste sensation of a raw oyster. And some of these people will never understand at all why others eat them.

I think much the same goes for drugs.

24-11-2003, 01:40
Nice analogy phase_dancer :)

For me it's a blend of escapism, hedonism, curiosity and exploration of the unknown. As a kid I found it fascinating the way that one white tablet, sachet of powder or liquid could simply pass through the human system without producing any symptoms indicative of its presence, while another will kill pain or fight infections. As I got into my late teens this developed into an interest in pharmacology, and my belief in the worth of first hand experience took over ;)

I don't hide the fact I use drugs to escape "real life". After a week or so (perhaps more, perhaps less) of intense study or work, I'll happily sit back and relax with some K/GHB/codeine on a friday night. I equate it with post-work friday evening alcohol consumption, I just ingest a different substance.


24-11-2003, 03:36
because im cool
no really..
basically what everyone else has said.

24-11-2003, 15:46
Mum told me you can't knock it if you haven’t tried it....

So I did.

....and now I can't stop it :)

Seriously, I'll try anything, usually first.

Sometimes escapism isn't an excuse just some people’s way to take a deep breath, step back, reassess and relax.

26-03-2004, 19:12

27-03-2004, 03:45
Usually by about 4am my friends start to get a little sleepy and fall asleep. So we take drugs so we can stay up and have fun all night/weekend long.

It's my friends and the fun we have that makes me high, not the drugs.

27-03-2004, 13:22
**Long post warning**

My drug interest started early when I was about 14 (approx 10 years ago) A school collogue was going to source some LSD for me and friend. Here drug intake would have been curiosity , eventually my friend and I both decided we weren't ready for "hard" drugs.
I smoked pot for a year os so here Just to be cool
I didn't drink until near the end of high school and before I found out I didn't try hard enough to get in to what I wanted.
Over the holiday period My friends and i could get drunk several times a week this built up to several weekends on complete intoxication where sleep ended and a new drink started. At think point out drug intake was a game.
This went on until I got a job because my ausstudy was about to runout as I did not do as well as needed to do what I wanted in uni. Then drinking fell back to every weekend usually friday and saturday night. At this point Drug intake was a time filler, someone would be like what are we gonna do. My answer was "Come drink at my place" and a bunch of us would.
All this time I was still interested in raves, electronic music and in a small way illicit drugs.
At my next job met a guy who was part of all of those scenes who introduce me to the joys what would be MDXX. At this point Drugs were once again curiosity
Been to the fun house, I regularly visited. My drugs of choice at this time alcohol and mdxx, My drug use returned to a time filler weekend comes what to do. Well get fucked up thats what.
More recently I've come to the conclusion that illicit drugs and I'm experimenting again. now it is back to curiosity but the underlying reason I think is a time filler aspect

So I guess I'm frequently bored and too lazy to come up with ideas so I turn to something prepared earlier.

I've harped on abit but I guess describing this way gave me a chance to see for my self the different reasons I have and still do use drugs.
It's probably broken or scattered if it is let me know I'll try to make it more coherent.

28-03-2004, 03:23
i take them cos they've allowed me to be the person i always was inside but was too scared to let out.

and also cos i have a shitload of fun with all my friends. half our nights are spent talking about all the stupid/funny things we've done the other weekends, and the other half talking about drugs and all those deep and meaningful "whats outside the universe" type things.

29-03-2004, 11:48
Because if I didn't take drugs I wouldn't appreciate them as much as I do!

:D eKLaB

29-03-2004, 14:47
I started taking drugs in 1999 purely outta curiosity.
I was shy, withdrawn, closed minded & didnt have alot of friends.
Drugs helped me turn into this confident, bubbly, happy, openminded person and I guess at that point in my life i finally felt like somebody.
I now have a huge peer group, am one of the most LOUD ppl amongst the group, no one would ever class me as shy!
So now i take drugs for enjoyment and because i appreciate the person they helped me to become... They just gave me that little push in life and helped me to see things from a different perspective.8)
I also believe they have helped bond some very special friendships for me!

29-03-2004, 18:16
Originally posted by Sllip
Usually by about 4am my friends start to get a little sleepy and fall asleep. So we take drugs so we can stay up and have fun all night/weekend long.

It's my friends and the fun we have that makes me high, not the drugs.

Man you've changed!

It use to be about the music... ;)

29-03-2004, 19:16
Originally posted by RiseGurl

I was shy, withdrawn, closed minded & didnt have alot of friends.
Drugs helped me turn into this confident, bubbly, happy, openminded person

Totally the same with me.

As my E expreinces grow, so does my confidence while I'm straight.

I just love being able to talk to random people who are on E. Especially chicks, who normally in a alcohol setting shrug you off as someone trying to pick them up. You can just walk up to them talk about anything and make a new friend. Even though many of those friendships only exist in that reality, there are many others which carry over.

The second key factor is definately the music - how a low rumble can send a shiver down my spine and make me melt into the couch. Or just being able to get up and get right into dancing, without warming up.

As long as the pros still out weigh the cons, I'll still do 'stuff' - for the time being at least.

29-03-2004, 23:16
i use drugs for education, mind formation and innovation..

31-03-2004, 15:22
I believe everyone has a drug of choice. Our choices just happen to be illegal, while everyone else sticks to coffee and/or alcohol and/or cigarettes. I've always thought its funny how all the coffee drinkers are the ones making the laws.

Now that I've shared that little theory, I totally agree with kuxi re: my E use.

I have absolutely no idea why I wasted so much of my life playing computer games while stoned however. I will have to think about that a little more.

Great thread!

31-03-2004, 17:36
im really not sure why i take them
first time was curiosity, maybe a bit of boredom, and a bit of wanting to rebel 8)
now i take e's speed etc when im with friends, and the experience of being high with them, brings us closer together, and is a bit of a bonding experience.... gets u talking about alot of things that i normally wouldnt, emotionally i keep my cards very close to my chest whilst sober i would say

weed i use sometimes (altho i know im not supposed to say this) to simply get high, but other times to blunt pain that sometimes i have no other way of getting rid of...... lost loved ones etc

but most of all, i use drugs to almost fill a void within myself..... i used to play basketball to fill that void, but once i hit 16/17, that wasnt enough anymore..... nothing can get me as excited as the prospect of taking drugs..... its a wonder im only an occasional user

31-03-2004, 17:41
Right now I'm fitting all the right stereotypes of a drug user. I am smoking cannabis to escape from my depression for a few hours every evening and on the weekends.

31-03-2004, 18:02
I use drugs to get high... Can't really imagine any other reason to use them 8o

20-06-2004, 07:43
my drug use started in april last yr i was working n all my workmates did it n i become interested in it & what it would b like so on an april night i took my first pill wow man loved it n have been doing it a far bit ever since.

20-06-2004, 11:07
because i like em, that's what it really boils down to!

20-06-2004, 11:36
my first job, factory-floor, within an hour I was handed a bag of weed, the bloke said you can pay me when my FIRST pay check comes!

Hell, it was already IN my hand !

I was a welder and used my torch to light my first pipe (on a self made pipe, with a 20c peice as the bottom of the conepiece) and got high. My bosses didn't seem to mind and the drugs got more and more various. That was nine years ago.

also had a road accident and was on peth/morph and codeine for years and my tolerance of such is remarkable !

I've been a drug abuser ever since. I am planning my stoppage, sould come any year now.

20-06-2004, 12:30
I think each drug has its own little gift to us.

On top of that, I think that if you have the curiosity or urge to try or continue taking a particular drug then there is obviously some form of personal growth that you still need to get out of it. Its like the subconscious' way of trying to liberate something in itself to eventually give you a peace of mind. You would never take a substance that you know is not good for you unless there was some benefit you got from it.

e.g. MDMA has many great gifts. Teaching you how to just be yourself regardless of your company, being able to talk about next to anything to someone you trust (psychological therapy), some escapism and bliss which gives you a little helping hand along the way if you haven't yet found happiness when sober, it clarifies your emotions on next to anything, the list goes on.

acid (and mind altering drugs) breaks all rules of thinking and perception so if you like mind altering experiences it can give you new insights, new experiences that would have been normal and mundane if you were sober, revelations. its like being reborn again every trip.

pot can be great to tone down your mind and channel it into one particular thought or just to relax you.

ketamine is great to get disconnected and give you an out of body perspective on yourself and your life.

the list goes on....they each have their own magic that can help you or break you in some aspects.

but generally i take drugs because i'm quite in touch with myself and i can quite carefully see the personal growth each drug experience gives me. once i don't have the motivation to take a particular drug then i know i won't get much from it and it will just be to "get bent". so for me drugs are tools for personal growth.

20-06-2004, 13:25
because i just paid for the dam stuff whatt am i ment to do....... let it sit in my draw....

but on a serious note... i use X because i think it is a great drug to use if you want to explore emotion,loveand phusical touch...... it is also a great way to communiate with ppl you would never talk to normaly... it helps to break down the communication barrier which normal stopped me talking to ppl and making new firends.....

some of my best mate i met on X... and we are best friends to this day.... and yeah we dont do X all the time but it deffinetly help us to understand each other whole lot more..

P.s Sex on X is an idiction in its self.... ;)

20-06-2004, 13:32
to stay awake, to dance longer, to dance harder.

20-06-2004, 13:37
i love x i love the feelings i get its my drug of choice n will b for a while yet hehe.

20-06-2004, 13:38
btw i forgot to add that it helps me come out more i'm a really shy person but thanks to e's i've met my bf(i was at a rave) n yeh i've met so many new people while on it who are awesome friends.