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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Zopiclone/Cloneazeoam/loraz/marihuana, absitnte, whisly and wine..

Im trying to hold down my new job, with management opportunities over the next few weeks, but my wife has took my kids and left, possibly another man, maybe even me cousin whom, I;ve never met.
I'm in self destruct, and I'm lucky I have no access to H where I am!
 
My wife took the kids 2 days ago, and is apparently living with a stable old family friend, although she won't tell me where exactly "incae I make a scene" Which of course I wont.
I dink quite a bit as it is, but I'm drinking and drinking and not getting anywhere, so I took some zoplclones..dranks some more, nothing, cloneazepam...nothing, just about to have a joint and another mini Jack. i have work in the morning, and I fully intend on going, but I can't numb the pain....
 
I can't kill myself, I don't want to have my kids grow up knowing the Dad they love an adore, left them behind, but I figure if I get fucked up enough, that'll change
 
I CANT be sober though, I get angry when she doen't text back, when I see on things on facebook, I get stressed, and all my texts just become attacks.'I have to try and find a new place to live, asap. Deal with the fact that I'm not going to be kissing my boys each noght at bedtime, and not watching them grow. I made the alphabet to H, on my 'visit' he'll be on R and i missed all that...
How the fuck am i supposed ti stay sober?? i'm pretty wrecked right now and it still killls me to think all the worst case scenarios.
Before we met 7 years ago she was deep into meth, and an assortment of dangerous dodgly people, and the all live within the same reason she's supposedly in now.

Again, how am I supposed to stay sober, I need to kill the pain
 
But that would mean no drinking right? And I have just started this new job, management opportunities in the next month or so, therapy scares me! And would take all have left, drugs and job...
 
But if the mrs has been cheating, I've effectivly lost my kids aswell, just a part time Dad, I've spend just 6 nights away in 4 years
I can;t cope with this,
Gonna try another absinte and joint, see where that leads me
 
But I will never know if she really did cheat, She could never convince me. I can't live with that. I feel so split, I want to get her back, but I can't move past the events leading up to it,
So torn over this, ans I have to get up again for work a 7am and act as though everythings normal.
I put everything into her and the boys, and I have nothing left, no friends, no faimly, no shoulder. So I figured I'd explain it to the doc just gave me more pills..

I'm getting pretty out there atm aye
 
It sounds to me like you are making excuses... I know things are hard right now, but that doesnt justify what you are doing to yourself. OD is right, you have to be there for your kids. If that means entering a sober living environment, so be it... but if you think you can do it on your own, more power to you. <3 Congrats on the new job... that is the perfect opportunity to better yourself and show your wife that you can be a good husband and father... if you arent interested in getting back together with her, it will at least show your kids that you can be the dad that they expect you to be.

I can tell you love your kids. If not for yourself, getting control of your use and drinking should be done at least for them. Do you really want them to grow up around that?
 
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