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Zero

Joey

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 22, 2015
Messages
7,340
Location
Canada
I’m torched again. Ashen, I reach solemnly for my daily measure. Crystalline waves. Burnout. Burnout.

Riding the vapor, so steamed up, So I go until I’m vaporware. There’s nothing left to me. Burnout.

I callously abuse my body and mind. Irrespective to living, I hit the pipe again. All I’ve got left in this life for the time is a living death I feel. Why? I begin to burn out on the thought, yet again.

I disrespect myself. I feel something else. I’m something else, someone I don’t recognize. But not yet nothing. I’m burning out further, hitting new bottoms.

I’m shattered, looking in. In pieces thrown up and away. Way down inside. All that reflects back are bits of myself. Those pieces I can’t get back. The air cools, it goes dark. Burnt out through and through I still can’t stop.

I’ve illuminated all the endless nights I spent there. I’d shone a light on my own soul, a foreigner in the darkness took me away and out went the light.

I’m a replacement, an ashen man. My skin becoming like leather, my gums receding to grey and my teeth bleed.

I’m full of infection, prone to an incontinent mind. I shit all over the place. I’m disgusted and in hilarity all the same. My life is a joke.

As am I, unrecognizeable, incognizant, maligned. I used to be a better man. I laugh bitterly at my prospects, none. I’ve burned out long ago.

Ive burned my bridges, I’ve burned it all down. I build new lives, I burn it all down again. I’ve watched the world burn, so many times.

I’m burning inside out.

Zero.
Zero.
Zero.
Out goes the light.
The light goes out.
Zero
Zero
Zero

there’s no light left in my life, maybe there never was

burnout
burnout
 
The battle wages on. It's tough to construct this as a picture in my mind because I read so much pain.

I hope you find the light. Your writing is exemplary as usual.
 
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