AnythingEverything
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2014
- Messages
- 540
Hi
I hope this is in the right forum, please move if not. I have been a member here for some years but not a very active one so haven't figured out all the different forums yet.
Background, I have a history of addiction and mental illness stemming back nearly 25 years. From age 14 I started on alcohol, weed and lsd and followed the 'typical' path from there to meth addiction, heroin and everything in between. I got clean through rehab and NA at 21 and stayed that way for many years while we had our children, but I suffered from anorexia and bulimia the whole time, somethibf thay for me has been harder than the drugs (and part of the reason I started using meth back in the day.). I've only recently overcome the disordered eating and body image.
A few years back I ended up with PTSD after nearly losing my baby daughter on top of severe depression, anxiety and have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.....and ended up with an oxy/Benzo/alcohol/other habit which lead me to start buying heroin again.
Now on 32mg suboxone and have been tapering the benzos for nearly 3 years after a few quick taper attempts.
I have been on a few anti depressants, the most recent being pristiq 200mg which I weaned myself off over 6 months ago and don't feel any worse for it. Im not keen to try another anti depressant as I find they don't make much difference and I won't take anything thay makes me gain weight due to my previous issues in that area.
I habe my quarterly suboxone appointment tonight and I think I will start tapering the subs and he will want me to do another drop in the benzos which im really scared about. They do not help me at all with anxiety but I don't want to go through benzo withsrawal right now. My marriage is in serious trouble, my husband is not ok at the moment and I cop it every day, im not working for the first time in 23 years due to recurring pneumonia so, despite having 5 amazing kids, I have too much time in my own company.
I highly doubt he would prescribe me a z drug but im wondering if anyone has found these useful for severe anxiety, insomnia and depression? If so, any that are better than others?
I am in therapy but need to find someone that does dialectal behavior therapy. Any other suggestions that might help me as my anxiety is becoming so severe I find it hard to even go to the gym (my safe haven) or even grocery shopping.
Thanks for reason and sorry its long, im not too well at the moment.
I hope this is in the right forum, please move if not. I have been a member here for some years but not a very active one so haven't figured out all the different forums yet.
Background, I have a history of addiction and mental illness stemming back nearly 25 years. From age 14 I started on alcohol, weed and lsd and followed the 'typical' path from there to meth addiction, heroin and everything in between. I got clean through rehab and NA at 21 and stayed that way for many years while we had our children, but I suffered from anorexia and bulimia the whole time, somethibf thay for me has been harder than the drugs (and part of the reason I started using meth back in the day.). I've only recently overcome the disordered eating and body image.
A few years back I ended up with PTSD after nearly losing my baby daughter on top of severe depression, anxiety and have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.....and ended up with an oxy/Benzo/alcohol/other habit which lead me to start buying heroin again.
Now on 32mg suboxone and have been tapering the benzos for nearly 3 years after a few quick taper attempts.
I have been on a few anti depressants, the most recent being pristiq 200mg which I weaned myself off over 6 months ago and don't feel any worse for it. Im not keen to try another anti depressant as I find they don't make much difference and I won't take anything thay makes me gain weight due to my previous issues in that area.
I habe my quarterly suboxone appointment tonight and I think I will start tapering the subs and he will want me to do another drop in the benzos which im really scared about. They do not help me at all with anxiety but I don't want to go through benzo withsrawal right now. My marriage is in serious trouble, my husband is not ok at the moment and I cop it every day, im not working for the first time in 23 years due to recurring pneumonia so, despite having 5 amazing kids, I have too much time in my own company.
I highly doubt he would prescribe me a z drug but im wondering if anyone has found these useful for severe anxiety, insomnia and depression? If so, any that are better than others?
I am in therapy but need to find someone that does dialectal behavior therapy. Any other suggestions that might help me as my anxiety is becoming so severe I find it hard to even go to the gym (my safe haven) or even grocery shopping.
Thanks for reason and sorry its long, im not too well at the moment.