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would you (have you) come out as bi?

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_a_A_C_c_

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i've been mulling over a conversation i had on national coming out day. my friend was encouraging people who are bi to come out to their family and friends even if their sexuality isn't relevant to their day to day life. we had a long conversation about why i didn't want to make a facebook post about my sexuality.

it mostly comes down to the fact that i don't discuss my relationship or bedroom antics on facebook and announcing that i am bi on facebook would seem extremely out of place. my wall is mostly filled with random articles i find amusing, travel plans, complaining about things that annoy me or drunken musings. i prefer to keep it that way.

in real life, i am pretty open about things. if asked directly, i will respond that i am bi. but i don't run around telling every person i know. but if you asked most of my friends, they would prolly tell you i am attracted to whoever is paying me the most attention. i guess i would be considered "out" to most of my friends.

dan savage said:
Not only would it be great if more bisexuals were out to their partners, it would be great if more bisexuals in opposite-sex relationships were out to their friends, families, and coworkers. More out bisexuals would mean less of that bisexual invisibility that bisexuals are always complaining about. If more bisexuals were out, more straight people would know they actually know and love sexual minorities, which would lead to less anti-LGBT bigotry generally, which would be better for everyone.

But people get to make their own choices, and lots of bisexuals choose not to be out. While I'm willing to recognize that the reluctance of many bisexuals to be out may be a reaction to the hostility they face from non-bisexuals, gay and straight, bisexuals need to recognize that their being closeted is a huge contributing factor to the hostility they face.
Click to expand...

the above quote is from an article dan savage wrote last year for the queer issue of the stranger. i don't really care about opinions on dan savage, i wonder how other bisexual BLers feel about being open with their partners, friends and family.
 
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I'm not bi, but I'd hope that my friends who are would trust me enough to tell me.
 
I'm bisexual and I've been out for awhile.

I never really had to come out to my mom since she always knew or suspected but I didn't have a term for my sexuality then since I was very young, and I didn't really know about how there are different sexual orientations.

I'm out about my sexuality on the internet on various sites even here on BL, so hypothetically anyone could look up this information about me and tell that I'm bisexual.
 
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^what made you come out to your mom? i am not very open with my parents about anything.

i think part of my issue is that i have been with the same partner since high school, so i have never needed to bring the topic up with my parents (or anyone else, i can just let people draw their own conclusions). i am pretty sure they told themselves i was a virgin until i got married ;)
 
animal_cookie said:
^what made you come out to your mom? i am not very open with my parents about anything.

i think part of my issue is that i have been with the same partner since high school, so i have never needed to bring the topic up with my parents (or anyone else, i can just let people draw their own conclusions). i am pretty sure they told themselves i was a virgin until i got married ;)
Click to expand...

I never really had to tell my mom since she caught me with a male friend when I was younger. Or she'd see how I would act around certain male and female friends of mine who I liked when I was growing up.

I told my dad but only after I'd became an adult. I told him since I believe in being honest, my mom already knew and so did other family members. This asshole friend of my dad's also knew, and I didn't want this guy telling my dad instead of me.

I also tell whoever I am dating or in a relationship with. When I've met people who I dated or had a relationship with online they already knew about my sexuality since I would write about it in my profile on the site we met.

I am out to friends as well but I don't feel the need to hide my sexuality.

As I wrote before anyone could go on any number of sites and they'd easily be able to know that I'm bisexual.

If someone were to go to my house they'd see all the books I have about bisexual and gay men, and/or LGBT issues so they'd also be able to tell that way.
 
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I came out to my family 4 years ago that I was dating a guy but I was so in love with him that I didn't care who knew. My family took it well and most of my friends already knew...I was 28. Thing is, we don't advertise our relationship in public plus we are both masculine and have tats and piercings and don't speak with a lisp and limp wrist. Most people think we are brothers because we look quite a bit alike...same body build, nearly same height and hair color and we dress similiarly (since we share all of our clothes and shoes).

My point is that I am gay in sexuality but not culturally. I don't embrace the gay movement as I should because other than marriage, I have nothing to do with flame's antics and "I'm gay so fuck you" attitude. Honestly we only have like three gay friends and two of em are a female couple who we are godparents of their baby.

Final point, there's no since in feeling the need to label oneself or feel coerced to reveal personal information. That's yo business!
 
I'm not sure if I would consider myself bisexual or not. Maybe it's because I have such a detached view of the who gay-straight dichotomy that the terms just don't hold any meaning for me. I'm not especially masculine (a few friends admitted they thought I might be gay) but I know that I have a deep attraction to women, and yet at the same time, a relationship with a man doesn't sound that crazy - maybe I've just never met another man I'm sexually attracted to. Who knows? Or more importantly, who cares? I've never discussed sexuality with my parents because it's none of their business. It's none of anyone's business, really. I'm relatively young and with a world of experience in front of me - I'd rather not pin a label on myself and just enjoy whatever/whoever comes my way.
 
I am bi and I came out completely about 10 years ago.
It made me feel better about myself, but mostly I find that other people just ignore that little fact about you. At least to your face.
Really it's up to the individual concerned.
But in an ideal world everybody would come out and nobody would give a shit.
 
I came out to my girlfriend and mom around the same time, alcohol made me less timid as well as methamphetamine that I was taking at the time, so it was a drug induced decision partly but I'm still glad I did. Some of my friends know but not all. I recently told one of my best guy friends and I thought he'd react badly but he instead told me that it made no difference and he already suspected it. Many of my friends are gay and I was also in a relationship with a woman I loved for the last 7 years...me not being upfront about being bi at first was a huge wedge in our relationship. I cheated once too and she found out, but we were living apart at the time after a stint I rehab and I relapsed on meth and had sex with another guy. I am glad I came out but I suppose it's been pretty difficult in some ways.
 
I'm bi but to be honest I don't get the whole 'coming out' thing. I mean my good friends know because I'll mention having hooked up with a girl last night or something, just in passing. I'm not going to make a big deal out of it. I think there's way too much focus on our sexualities. I mean really, why does it matter that someone is gay or not and why do they need to be entirely open about it with everyone? Same with straight people. I have no need to tell the world I'm bi just as I have no need to tell my parents because well, for the moment I've only dated guys and I don't tell them about my other sexual experiences so why would I tell them that? They'll know if I introduce them to my girlfriend some day. Same goes with my long list of acquaintances. I really don't understand why society acts as if our sexuality is like, THE major componant of who we are as individuals.
 
Yes. I did.

I don't think it's necessary though, but if you announce it outloud it can help you come to terms with it from my experience.

I always been quite attention seeking, so it was both options for me.
 
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