would you have died if you lived alone!?

[ImSTILLtrying]

I've OD'd MANY, MANY, MANY times in my life; however, I've always lived alone, so I've always made it through somehow. its sad to say but I should have passed away many, many times, as the title reads itself. its sad that I even make a post like this and think its "cool" when its far from being cool. I am not writing this to say I am cool but the thought of it all is sickening when you truly think of it. imagine? someone, in their late 20's/early 30's is dropping tot he ground w/ no one around and no one avail/aware of what is happening but yet they make it through the day/night w/o really being sure what is to come within the next 4-8hrs following the drop. so many times I remember a certain time and then.. BOOM.. 8 hours later I wake up.

I'll never forget leaving detox 2 days early one time, having my family think I am IN THE PROGRAM w/ NO PROBLEMS, meanwhile I left w/ some dude and we shared a cab. that time in rehab I took benzo instead of methadone, which I always chose instead of the methadone because I felt it was better to actually work rather than use the methadone; methadone is such a weak amount for someone with a kill habit, so never made sense to me for those of us who tried. so I was taking 3 benzos a day and left early that day right after my dosage. so I was 3 days "sober" and just on benzos, so the minute I got home I got a gram and it was "brown" down instead of white; this was before the fent hit the streets hit the town here in Boston; so I got home and just put 2 pins together; I used to shoot a G in 2 shots back when I had a killer tolerance and back when it was dope and not fent. anyway, I used the benzos around 7PM and got my shot off around 830. well, my shot went off at 830 and I woke up NEXT MORNING at 11PM - imagine? 12+ hours went by and I barely remember a thin but I woke up on the kitchen floor. fucking sickening, right, man?

so what happens? well, I was happy I still had half a bag and used it right away. what happen? you wont guess? well, I used the rest. but I at least cut and maybe used a few different shots, right? NOPE! nope! NOPE! nope! and NOPE! I shot the other half the bag, the same one that put me on the floor.. and guess what? this time I fell between the couch and coffee table and woke up 12hrs later under the coffee table around 12AM (mightnight).

how dumb is that, right? I think about it now; esp. since I have been the BEST I have in a long ass time; longgggggggggg asssssssssssssss time! actually sober over 2 months w/o touching a thing and have brought my using down to basically nothing even before that. I am also on only 2MG bupe; coming from 16MG at one point. brought it down quick because its EASY and can EASILY be done. I also feel I can get off w/o a problem but why, right I am in no rush and things in my life seem to be going great on the drug side (I wish elsewhere but just drugs for now, lol, so in no rush) so I keep letting it play out for now.

I always think of that time and how if I lived w/ someone I would have been checked in for sure. hell, I would have been checked in 15-20 times for OD's if I lived w/ parents of even q/ a roommate but I always lived by myself and would wake up 8-12hrs later w//o a clue but w/ a pin in my arm or pins around me and w/o any idea as to what happened the night/day/anything before. just fucking sad, man. I am happy this is all over w/ and I am truly happy w/ life and what is coming from it. I have MANY, MANY problems in other ways but drugs are basically a NOTHING TO ME NOW! so its one thing off my back I do not have to worry about, phew.

just telling people out there to be careful. many of us, KNOW, we are bad, and need to worry, but its those of us who are true w/ ourselves, which I have always been, even at my worst, who might be able to catch ourselves in a time of need and actually help ourselves out.

best of luck, junkies, ha.
-junkie

 

[Cosmic Trigger]

I like living alone. I love peace and quiet.

 

[rainyday107]

Yes from Alcohol and Xanax. I'm fortunate I was not alone.

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

When I was into drinking massive quantities of alcohol daily, and blacked out at least once that I know of and sort of remember I was living alone. On nights when it was really bad I forced myself to stay awake for the rest of the night and most of the next day, drank a lot of water, and would crash later in the afternoon that day and sleep off the worst hangovers, and then wake up and do it all over again. I'm very lucky I never drank so much that I overdosed and died.

I don't drink or use anything at all now and haven't for years.

 

[PlurPsyed]

yeah, id be dead if I lived by myself. I've gotten brought back by narcan many times. fucked up thing is that each time I got brought back, I was pissed at the fact that they wouldn't just let me die already

 

[Keif' Richards]

I'm moving this to Drug Culture as it doesn't really match up with the forum guidelines.

 

[Man in the Dark]

I would be dead if I lived alone, having a young child and a father who killed himself keeps me in check. Living with my wife and son is not easy and makes things worse and I need more of my meds to cope with living with them ( sounds horrible I know but it's the truth) but me alone with my thoughts and intentions is a bad thing. I don't want my son to find me dead, he is only 7.

 

[noone1]

I've often wondered about this but the chances of me od'ing are much less than a hard drug user, still I've passed out enough times on PT, alcohol, dxm benadril, and phenibut combo that I get worried. I have asthma too so it's not a stretch to believe one day I just won't wake up.

 

[Pill2Chill]

Surprisingly, no. Never OD'd in my life, at least not with any serious consequences. I'm sure I od'd on amphetamines a good number of times, but I just benzo'd myself down. And opiates, well, those too, I'm sure. But the worst was passing out and waking up with a raging headache. (Only to pull out the needle immediately after waking, to cure the headache, lol).

 

[DeeDeeDrug]

Surprisingly, no. Never OD'd in my life, at least not with any serious consequences. I'm sure I od'd on amphetamines a good number of times, but I just benzo'd myself down. And opiates, well, those too, I'm sure. But the worst was passing out and waking up with a raging headache. (Only to pull out the needle immediately after waking, to cure the headache, lol).

After 10 some odd years as an opiate addict, I've never od'd either. I'm sure I've pushed the threshold but I'm still kicking.

But if I lived alone, that's a different story. By myself, I have the tendency to do stupid shit with out someone else there to reason with.