Hey yall. This is a somewhat dark post but not very dark compared to other threads in this subforum, but I didnt really know which other section to post in so here it goes. ******scroll to ******** to get the small summary.
long story short: for over 4 years ive been waking up every morning puking non stop in cycles. nothing helps besides marijuana. my appettie is almost non existent even with mariuana. after getting lots of cameras stuck inside me, and seeing dozens of doctors, I found one that prescribed me benzos, which helped a LOT. I have such horrible anxiety about life, my identy, my friends, family, philosophy that without benzos, I cant think clear.
So I was on benzos and a few other meds for a bit , they somewhat helped. but time helped more. slowly over the course of a few years the vomitng just durned into nausea all day, and NO appettite. im a 22 year old male and I need to be EATING man. its the most depressing thing in the world, and I really wish I could go into detail (for example when a professor would say a certain number that same number eased my nausea for moments. but the doctors of course....in one ear out the other.
Heres my problem: i was addicted to coke, mephedrone, and alcohol for a solid 6+ months. THe snorting of the drugs, caused my septum to wear away heavily on both sides. Most of the flesh inside my noise and nasal cavity is scar tissue, if I had a guess. Most drugs just fly into my lungs now if I sniff them (so I dont do much drugs anymore, that addiction almost ruined my life.
I can tell with my fingers my septum isnt normal, to top it off the same effect has occured on my throat. Now my condition (nausea) is REAL, i wouldnt come to BL and lie to you guys, I came here for opinions and advice.
On the roll of the dice when I get an appointment to get more benzos, she sometimes checks up my noise and etc etc.
If she looks up my nose and sees World War III took place inside, do you think im SOL for getting benzos? Keep in mind I do actually need them. Im not a benzo addict.
*******IM scared to go in to get checked up and more benzos, because by looking into my nose and throat she will tell i was on heavy drugs for a while. ******* and then they immediatly put you under them as a sub-human and give you scrips that dont help. What should i say in response to "wow your septum is almost gone! how the fuck did you do that huh???
Hopefully thats clarified enough, any insight is appreciated. Im really freaking out about this and Ive been heavily depressed the past few months
. I dont want to lose my benzos because they think Im a druggie, or still am a druggie. THanks
much love.
-Sass
long story short: for over 4 years ive been waking up every morning puking non stop in cycles. nothing helps besides marijuana. my appettie is almost non existent even with mariuana. after getting lots of cameras stuck inside me, and seeing dozens of doctors, I found one that prescribed me benzos, which helped a LOT. I have such horrible anxiety about life, my identy, my friends, family, philosophy that without benzos, I cant think clear.
So I was on benzos and a few other meds for a bit , they somewhat helped. but time helped more. slowly over the course of a few years the vomitng just durned into nausea all day, and NO appettite. im a 22 year old male and I need to be EATING man. its the most depressing thing in the world, and I really wish I could go into detail (for example when a professor would say a certain number that same number eased my nausea for moments. but the doctors of course....in one ear out the other.
Heres my problem: i was addicted to coke, mephedrone, and alcohol for a solid 6+ months. THe snorting of the drugs, caused my septum to wear away heavily on both sides. Most of the flesh inside my noise and nasal cavity is scar tissue, if I had a guess. Most drugs just fly into my lungs now if I sniff them (so I dont do much drugs anymore, that addiction almost ruined my life.
I can tell with my fingers my septum isnt normal, to top it off the same effect has occured on my throat. Now my condition (nausea) is REAL, i wouldnt come to BL and lie to you guys, I came here for opinions and advice.
On the roll of the dice when I get an appointment to get more benzos, she sometimes checks up my noise and etc etc.
If she looks up my nose and sees World War III took place inside, do you think im SOL for getting benzos? Keep in mind I do actually need them. Im not a benzo addict.
*******IM scared to go in to get checked up and more benzos, because by looking into my nose and throat she will tell i was on heavy drugs for a while. ******* and then they immediatly put you under them as a sub-human and give you scrips that dont help. What should i say in response to "wow your septum is almost gone! how the fuck did you do that huh???
Hopefully thats clarified enough, any insight is appreciated. Im really freaking out about this and Ive been heavily depressed the past few months
. I dont want to lose my benzos because they think Im a druggie, or still am a druggie. THanks
much love. -Sass
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