Wish me luck

[cancer]

Today is the day I swear off the drugs that I've been having problems with. It's been up and down for me, I tried in earnest a couple months ago and fell back into pills in no time. This stops now. And I mean it dammit, I'm putting this into writing.

I've felt powerless to say no every time I was offered Opana by guys who looked like they were really enjoying it, or someone told me they know where to get such and such pill. No more, I won't touch it if they say it's free goddammit, I won't say yes if they have it already crushed up and ready for me. If I get offered a line of coke instead of taking it and proceeding to buy a gram I'll tell them to get that shit out of my face.

I'm sick and goddamn tired of being anxious, paranoid, disappointed, getting high and then feeling guilty about it when my mother calls me and starts to cry because she knows I'm high just from hearing my voice, I'm tired of lying to her and telling her it's my past while I'm really high as a kite. I'm tired of putting my sweet loving mother through this hell, hearing her beg me through tears not to go back.

I'm tired of blowing money I don't have on opiates. I'm tired of the panic I feel if a deal is taking a long time to come through. I'm sick of comedowns and tolerance levels.

I can't do this anymore, I am stopping now. Wish me luck.

 

[ratio]

Cancer,
I know you can do this man, its going to be hard but to me it seems like you have two things
1. WILLPOWER. Dont forget the third paragraph. and please, when you feel like using READ IT, over and over.
2. People that love you, your Mom bro, dont put your old lady through that kinda hell.
I wish you all the luck in the world, but only you can make this possible. if you want to talk im here.
YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU CAN DO THIS

 

[Draigan]

What works, when it is working and I am on the wagon, is to just let the beauty of everything gently and slow trickle in. Its not a forceful process. Its a feeling of the healing forces taking over and gradually aligning my body/mind/spirit with a higher more compassionate level of existence.

I also know the pain of having my mother in pain over my problems. Its not fair to those sweet older ladies! care for your mom, and care for yourself, just like you say you will.


You Can Do It!!!

Spread your sobriety like a Cancer!!

 

[Pomplemous]

Remember and focus on the things you DO want for yourself - I'm really chuffed for you that you want to do this. You've got a grasp on what you hate about it - so turn your thoughts around as well and look to the future - what do you want to do? who do you want to be? what qualities does that person need to have? What could you do to make that happen?

Give yourself a vision for something to look towards. I just said stuff about that in the other thread abuot quitting. read that - my fingers too cold to type all that again...

Good luck! look to the future.

 

[ColtDan]

good luck. you can do it.

 

[ShAYZoN]

Good luck!! You can do it i'm also trying to be sober defientl hard but I'm over drugs too.