Will LSD help me feel emotions again?

[Hheya]

It feels like I'm walking around in a constant state of boredom. Nothing excites me. We can do something and everyone around me are excited and I'm like "yep, still bored". A few years ago I enjoyed video games at least but since then I don't even care for that. I am never happy, angry, sad, it's always just neutral. My grandma could die right now and I'd probably be pretty meh.

I just wondered if trying LSD could help me in feeling more alive? I want to get back to those good old days in childhood where everything felt magical. I am sick and tired of walking around like a robot.

 

[Incunabula]

Difficult to say, but it might. Unless you're on some kind of psych medication, then I'd say go for it. As others will probably point out, there's other things you could try too, but I actually think, that this is one of the things that psychedelics can be a cure for. Not that I have anything to base that assumption on.


By the way, why do you think, you're feeling such anhedonia?

 

[Hheya]

Difficult to say, but it might. Unless you're on some kind of psych medication, then I'd say go for it. As others will probably point out, there's other things you could try too, but I actually think, that this is one of the things that psychedelics can be a cure for. Not that I have anything to base that assumption on.


By the way, why do you think, you're feeling such anhedonia?

Yeah, that's what I've been feeling too, that this might be a cure. I've been searching high and low but not found anything that works. I will probably try acid this summer, but I'll have to find someone who's willing to tripsit me. I also live with my mom so that too poses a problem.

Anyway, I don't really know why I'm feeling such anhedonia. It kinda crept up on me during my teens (I'm 19 now btw). It could have been put in motion a somewhat traumatic situation when I was around 12, but I'm not sure. Perhaps it's suppressed anxiety. I've suspected chronic depression, but then again I don't know what depression feels like. It could also be genetic or something, as my dad and possibly my granddad (from what I've heard about him) seem to posses the same trait.

 

[xammy]

LSD could very well be something that uplifts your mind, at least for a while because the experience is really something magical. Especially if it's your first time trying a psychedelic. LSD still holds that top spot for me being the most "magical" psychedelic I ever tried, I can't explain what about it makes it so. I had tripped a few times before taking LSD on on 2C-B and mushrooms and while those experiences were eye opening and great, LSD feels unique for me in the psychedelic world. I still feel that way after tripping on many not so known psychedelics. I don't know if it's the experience I gained from LSD but many psychedelics feel "underwhelming" in the mindfuck sense and they are a lot of fun for me when LSD it can get really serious in a matter of moments.

When it comes to treating depression, I would advice you to look for dissociatives, especially ketamine. There are a lot of studies about ketamine being used in depression treatment. Self medicating is problematic though and could easily lead to addiction.

 

[pupnik]

It feels like I'm walking around in a constant state of boredom. Nothing excites me. We can do something and everyone around me are excited and I'm like "yep, still bored". A few years ago I enjoyed video games at least but since then I don't even care for that. I am never happy, angry, sad, it's always just neutral. My grandma could die right now and I'd probably be pretty meh.

I just wondered if trying LSD could help me in feeling more alive? I want to get back to those good old days in childhood where everything felt magical. I am sick and tired of walking around like a robot.

how are your muscles? I think some regular boring physical exercise will transform you more than any drug. do it for 1/2 hour per day. you should find things getting more interesting as your blood flows more effectively through your brain with fewer toxins.

 

[Hheya]

how are your muscles? I think some regular boring physical exercise will transform you more than any drug. do it for 1/2 hour per day. you should find things getting more interesting as your blood flows more effectively through your brain with fewer toxins.

I'm working out pretty regularly. Has been doing so for about three years, 3-5 times a week. Exercise seems to have very little effect on my mood.

 

[tokezu]

I am never happy, angry, sad, it's always just neutral.

That's exactly how depression (or dysthymia to be exact) feels like for me.

I want to get back to those good old days in childhood where everything felt magical.

With good set and setting psychedelics can definitely do that. But reminding the lessons from that for more than a few days of afterglow takes a lot of effort. Psychedelics might give you a new viewpoint but you will still have to change yourself.

 

[TheAppleCore]

Why do you think you're bored with everything? Do you know what you want to do with your life? Are you driven toward a particular career path, or do you at least have a hobby that excites you?

You need to find a passion. Psychedelics may help with this.

 

[iksaxophone]

It makes sense that psychedelic use could aid you, but if purposelessness is part of what ails you you may also need to do some [controlled] risk-taking. A bit of experimentation.

 

[kaya_9]

I've read about microdosing psilocybin mushrooms having produced good results for some in that way. Have to be careful with psyches as they can also mess w/you if you're in a bad head space. Neutral may serve to 'jumpstart', but keep on the light dose end for sure.

 

[DroneLore]

It might. Have you considered seeing a therapist, though? I am a big believer in psychotherapy. Psychiatry is useful in certain situations (as is exploring consciousness on your own with psychedelics), but I think a good therapist can really help you get some perspective, figure out what exactly it giving you problems, help you come up with appropriate solutions, and finally, help you be accountable so you can follow through with those solutions.

 

[Hheya]

That's exactly how depression (or dysthymia to be exact) feels like for me.

With good set and setting psychedelics can definitely do that. But reminding the lessons from that for more than a few days of afterglow takes a lot of effort. Psychedelics might give you a new viewpoint but you will still have to change yourself.

Have you found a way to get rid of the dysthymia? Or are you still experiencing it?

Why do you think you're bored with everything? Do you know what you want to do with your life? Are you driven toward a particular career path, or do you at least have a hobby that excites you?

You need to find a passion. Psychedelics may help with this.

I don't really know why it is like this. I am a fairly inhibited person, and I suspect that might have something to do with it. I am going to study Computer Science next year. I have had some programming projects at school and I actually enjoyed it quite a bit, almost to the point of obsession. I've started learning a little bit of guitar, and I'm hoping to maintain a solid meditation practice this summer.

I just kinda realized that my mind seems hardwired to solve problems. I am constantly churning on things that needs to be "solved", and I think it's sucking my life out.

It makes sense that psychedelic use could aid you, but if purposelessness is part of what ails you you may also need to do some [controlled] risk-taking. A bit of experimentation.

Risk-taking? You mean while tripping?

I've read about microdosing psilocybin mushrooms having produced good results for some in that way. Have to be careful with psyches as they can also mess w/you if you're in a bad head space. Neutral may serve to 'jumpstart', but keep on the light dose end for sure.

I have heard that there are no bad trips, only accelerated learning to the point of discomfort. And I'm not afraid of knowing the uncomfortable truths. I was thinking of doing 75 mics first time anyway, just to get the taste for it.

 

[xammy]

I'd say what you're feeling is a phase, I remember having a huge existential crisis at your age and having similar feelings you describe.

And I'm not afraid of knowing the uncomfortable truths.

There might be some doors that shouldn't be opened though

 

[The Hypnotist]

I doubt you are suffering from depression. If you were you would know. You might be suffering from some kind of antisocial personality disorder. Especially as you say other people in the family are like you...
The condition you describe is probably Alexithymia. Check this out https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexithymia
They are considered different conditions though to be honest every person is different and all this classifications are a try to put names to the inefable. Reading about it can help. Remember self-diagnosis is not possible and take with a pinch of salt anything I or anybody else says.

The other day I heard about a therapy that was quite successful with that kind of conditions but I cannot find it right now. I'll try to post back if I find it.

I would really recommend seeing a therapist. People who suffer from antisocial personality disorder are well known for never seeking help. In my experience therapy cannot hurt, though psychologist is a hard job and some of them are not very good at it. Anyway the worst that can happen is that nothing happens and if you listen you are bound to learn something.

Trying psychedelics is a valid option in your case. But I don't believe much in psychedelics solving problems by themselves. A spiritual and psychological practise should be added for best results. You said you are planning on starting a meditation practise and you are already exercicing. Go on with that.
You are lacking empathy and there entactogens like MDMA could be precious tools. Again to get the best results things have to be done quite carefully. Unfortunately we don't have professionals using those kind of substances due to some awkward legal status.

You might be prone to substance abuse with your traits. It is a natural answer to boredom if you think about it. So be extra careful with your use. Put some limits and respect them.

 

[tokezu]

Have you found a way to get rid of the dysthymia? Or are you still experiencing it?

I can't say that I have gotten rid of it. Psychedelics as well as cognitive behavioral therapy have helped a lot to recognize some very unhelpful behaviour patterns as such, rather than thinking of them as 'just the way I am'. That already makes a big difference, but still changing them takes a lot of fucking effort and I can't claim I have gotten very far with that. I don't think there is any kind of simple cure. At least for me, maybe for you there is. I wish you luck.

I doubt you are suffering from depression. If you were you would know.

With dysthymia or "chronic depression" symptoms tend to be not so severe that they are immediately recognized by others or oneself as 'depression'. And because it is so consistent over time without much ups and downs, it's common that people don't even recognize it as an illness for a long time but think of it more as an inherent character trait.

Remember self-diagnosis is not possible and take with a pinch of salt anything I or anybody else says.

+1

 

[The Hypnotist]

With dysthymia or "chronic depression" symptoms tend to be not so severe that they are immediately recognized by others or oneself as 'depression'. And because it is so consistent over time without much ups and downs, it's common that people don't even recognize it as an illness for a long time but think of it more as an inherent character trait.

You are right. I take it back. Anyway the ''not feeling sad or angry'' doesn't fit in my experience of depression. But as I said before all those names for psychological states are sometimes trying to put in boxes things that are very complicated. And as you point out maybe he is actually feeling sad but cannot realize...or define it that way.

I agree with you too in that we never should think that a trait that appears in our personality when we are low it is just how we are. We surely have some personality limitations, but there is lot of work we can do to change lots of things that we don't like about ourselves.