MagicalMatt7007
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2014
- Messages
- 7
Before anything is said and done I may need to point out the fact I have never in my life been severely addicted to neither methamphetamines nor any other synthetic substances.
I smoked cannabis throughout my twenties, tried mdma once which did not go well at all and did "accidentally" take a heroic dose of magic saucers when I was 20 that to this day I'm still processing whether or not I had a NDE and what happened on a spiritual and physical level as it was indescribably intense.
Alright so I'm back again with another episode of chronic post-meth paranoia compulsively wondering everyday for the last month and a half if I really have to accept and embrace the mortifying fact that I did long term damage or possibly some sort of long term(yet temporary) chemical disturbances or internal changes from this total trash substance I was stupidly using.
Over the holidays while suffering from seclusion and hard depression I began talking to my childhood friend of whom I hadn't seen in 6 years and went over to him an his girlfriends place.
I found out immediately they were using and later on out of peer pressure ended up trying their meth by toking out of a water bong a little on and off over mid november this past year then again a few times in December. I stopped completely from around the 19th until the 30th.
The night of the 30th I caught back up with some guy I had met back in october and he was smoking meth off foil that night. I ended up following him a good ways away and he sold me some after coming out of this upstairs apartment building with a piece of paper filled with about a gram of this cloudish white crystal. (later hoping to god it wasn't a kind of bath salts).
So I smoked a little that night got really lifted and stayed up for the following 36 hours or something. I didn't realize it at the time but I was on a binge with little sleep so Im sure this contributed to the unpleasant effects. I had eaten a tiny speck of a shard and took a hit off foil on around 5:00am on Jan 4th.
Other than the below mentioned, I had some symptoms of overamping which included disorientation and vision impairment. An instance of weakness and cold sweats as well.
Its hard to remember but at some point while coming down from the high a while after I got off the phone with my dad I started noticing tightness or pressure in my chest and I could not breathe normally like it felt genuinely hard to get a full breath. My heart rate had to have been pretty high and blood pressure forsure though it wasn't until these symptoms came on I began freaking out and thinking heart attack or stroke. I was incredibly sleepy but couldn't lay down that morning to go to sleep because I thought my heart would stop or my breathing would cease and I'd pass away in my sleep.
Since then I have been to two medical clinics and two ER centers/hospitals and everytime I am discharged after they tell me there is no damage despite my complaints. I had ECG, ekg tests one of which stated (possible left atrial enlargement), blood work tests and even had a damn CT chest scan which I know was overkill but hey me being the paranoid freak I am I was asking for it.
Since those initial symptoms manifested over a month ago I just don't feel the same. My natural breathe feels jacked up and I am obsessing over my mild chest pain/ discomfort/pressure. The lower area of my chest near my upper abdominal region feels bloated or tense almost like someone put a stun gun and shocked my upper abb muscle area. Weird I know but this downright sucks and I just wish everyday I knew what I could do to ease the symptoms, even temporarily.
Blessings and thankyou so much if you got this far reading.....oh and last thing....
P.s. Despite your differing beliefs or whatnot, I Love you all out there with purest intention, enduring or suffering through these times, you are truly loved and cherished by the Almighty forever, never give up on who you are and never ever give in to the lies and deceit of the enemy!
I smoked cannabis throughout my twenties, tried mdma once which did not go well at all and did "accidentally" take a heroic dose of magic saucers when I was 20 that to this day I'm still processing whether or not I had a NDE and what happened on a spiritual and physical level as it was indescribably intense.
Alright so I'm back again with another episode of chronic post-meth paranoia compulsively wondering everyday for the last month and a half if I really have to accept and embrace the mortifying fact that I did long term damage or possibly some sort of long term(yet temporary) chemical disturbances or internal changes from this total trash substance I was stupidly using.
Over the holidays while suffering from seclusion and hard depression I began talking to my childhood friend of whom I hadn't seen in 6 years and went over to him an his girlfriends place.
I found out immediately they were using and later on out of peer pressure ended up trying their meth by toking out of a water bong a little on and off over mid november this past year then again a few times in December. I stopped completely from around the 19th until the 30th.
The night of the 30th I caught back up with some guy I had met back in october and he was smoking meth off foil that night. I ended up following him a good ways away and he sold me some after coming out of this upstairs apartment building with a piece of paper filled with about a gram of this cloudish white crystal. (later hoping to god it wasn't a kind of bath salts).
So I smoked a little that night got really lifted and stayed up for the following 36 hours or something. I didn't realize it at the time but I was on a binge with little sleep so Im sure this contributed to the unpleasant effects. I had eaten a tiny speck of a shard and took a hit off foil on around 5:00am on Jan 4th.
Other than the below mentioned, I had some symptoms of overamping which included disorientation and vision impairment. An instance of weakness and cold sweats as well.
Its hard to remember but at some point while coming down from the high a while after I got off the phone with my dad I started noticing tightness or pressure in my chest and I could not breathe normally like it felt genuinely hard to get a full breath. My heart rate had to have been pretty high and blood pressure forsure though it wasn't until these symptoms came on I began freaking out and thinking heart attack or stroke. I was incredibly sleepy but couldn't lay down that morning to go to sleep because I thought my heart would stop or my breathing would cease and I'd pass away in my sleep.
Since then I have been to two medical clinics and two ER centers/hospitals and everytime I am discharged after they tell me there is no damage despite my complaints. I had ECG, ekg tests one of which stated (possible left atrial enlargement), blood work tests and even had a damn CT chest scan which I know was overkill but hey me being the paranoid freak I am I was asking for it.
Since those initial symptoms manifested over a month ago I just don't feel the same. My natural breathe feels jacked up and I am obsessing over my mild chest pain/ discomfort/pressure. The lower area of my chest near my upper abdominal region feels bloated or tense almost like someone put a stun gun and shocked my upper abb muscle area. Weird I know but this downright sucks and I just wish everyday I knew what I could do to ease the symptoms, even temporarily.
Blessings and thankyou so much if you got this far reading.....oh and last thing....
P.s. Despite your differing beliefs or whatnot, I Love you all out there with purest intention, enduring or suffering through these times, you are truly loved and cherished by the Almighty forever, never give up on who you are and never ever give in to the lies and deceit of the enemy!
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