Will I ever be the same again?

[Raillery]

Six days ago I did half a gram of shit in about two hours, iv. I started hallucinating on the last shot, everything shaking, felt pins and needles in my skin, laid down in my bed, took a couple temazepam and rode it out, forgetting to drink water (maybe a little). I've never hallucinated from it before. Somewhere between half a day and a day later I started drinking water. Six days later, I still feel retarded. I'm starting my senior year in high school in a month and would like to know if I have ruined my life with this stupid, stupid night. I would also like to know what I can do to recover the most that I can before then, so all my hard work and nearly perfect grades don't go to waste in my last year/SATs. I'm also of course very depressed, since I feel retarded now. Is it possible to come back to reality, or will I be like this forever? Thank you.

 

[panic in paradise]

what did you use?
are there any other prescription drugs you take?
do you or any family members have any psych diagnoses?

ir sounds like you exhausted your dopamine, serotonin, or some other neuron, or a receptor.
this is typical, with amphetamines, you crush your natural pleasure receptors. your mind becomes dependent on the drug to feel these feelings, the simple good things in life are unobtainable with out it.

these effects are usually temporary, but the longer you use the longer it takes to regain proper mental function. most of this repleation is done while sleeping, eating right, and not stressing over it.

if these feelings become overwhelming, or continue much longer, after not using go see a doctor. try not to worry, and listen to yourself. everyone reacts reacts a little different to different drugs, some more then others.

 

[Raillery]

I used meth. I take 60mg temazepam at night to sleep and 8mg suboxone throughout the day for my heroin addiction. I have been diagnosed with depression when I was much younger, but I am a relatively happy person these days (prior to last weeks incident). I no longer use opiates, and occasionally use meth. I have a very naturally high tolerance to pretty much all drugs I have ever come across, which is most of them. And I'm pretty sure it's not that I was getting shitty drugs, as my friends easily get faded/gacked off what would maybe give me a buzz. I have never even been able to get high AT ALL from cocaine. Since I had such a high tolerance to meth (natural tolerance, I'm not a very frequent user), I decided this would be my last time with chris until I had finished high school. I wanted to get the most bang for my buck, and stupidly did half a g in two shots about 2hrs apart. For the last few days I thought I had possibly died of a heart attack and was in purgatory/hell (I'm catholic), but I now realize this was just the drugs fucking with my mind. I started using meth about two years ago, but it was never a hallucinogen, always just a powerful stimulant. I feel a bit more normal if I take my temazepam during the day instead of at night. My mom noticed my depression and offered me some of her antidepressants, which I have decided to start slowly with. So do you think this will last for years to come, or is it possible to recover enough to get decent grades and SAT scores with proper supplements and healthy living? I've been taking multivitamins as well as fish oil capsules and my scripts. I am definitely quitting all drugs for as long as I can, and forever if I don't return to myself. It's just not worth it anymore. I love myself the way I used to be and am just devastated that I have been so foolish as to throw away my life at such a young age.

 

[panic in paradise]

i couldn't say how long this may last, but it sounds like you are doing everything you can right to remedy it.

its usually counterproductive to tell someone to relax, or not worry, but avoiding the stress of the thought is important.

if these feelings persist for more then a month, thats when i would be seen.. then or if they become overwhelming to you.
try, if possible, going to a sashimi>sushi bar a few times a month for your vitamins; thats a perk for all the senses!

 

[Moredopamine]

You'll probably recover! Unfortunately, most serious damage from drugs comes from either (a) chronic use or (b) very high acute doses e.g. extremely high ethanol doses causing blindness.

Generally, recovering from neural insult is best achieved by lots of aerobic exercise (running etc), healthy eating, and all that boring stuff. It's good to see you're taking fish oil--it's a great supplement. Staying away from drugs or at least conservative use helps.

Just wait it out, and if you don't get better, go see a doc if you're the type to do such a thing (i'm not).

 

[Raillery]

Well I don't rly like sushi, but I think just eating healthy and taking vitamins and my temazepam and suboxone should help, at least for the short term. Thanks for your help. And if you or anyone else has any suggestions I would love to hear them. I'm going to bed now, so I'll check back tomorrow. Goodnight and god bless.

 

[unsettled]

my guess is you'll be fine, I've felt what you've described after stimulant binges before, sometimes it lasts a long time.. after my last LONG dexedrine binge I had to go on wellbutrin to feel normal, I have to admit it was a life saver at the moment, you might want to try it if you don't feel better after awhile or if you just crave stimulants and want to avoid amphetamines. Good luck, you'll feel better, just rest and eat right.

 

[blahman8000]

Yeah, stimulant binges often have this lingering dulling effect on your cognition/senses, but it should definitely be temporary. You've probably just worn yourself out. Like what others suggested, your best bet would be to getting plenty of rest, eat healthy, take vitamins, drink plenty of water, etc. Your mind just needs to readjust to its normal state.

 

[Raillery]

Thank you all for your support. I'm feeling less retarded now and a bit less depressed. Until now I never realized the terror meth can induce. I really had thought I had probably died of a heart attack up until a couple days ago. Hopefully I'll continue to see meth as a "bad" drug from now on, the way I saw it in the past week.

 

[Jakeperson]

You over did it and got a bit of psychosis, the rest was your body telling you no more.

The side effects from the psychosis can linger for months, had it last 6 months for me.
Other drug use (I find especially cannabis) will increase the feeling and delay the time before it wears off.

 

[Raillery]

Damn six months? How often/how much were you doing? If it lasts six months for me then I will surely fail my senior year as I'm supposed to be graduating early and only have one semester left, which is six months.

 

[Khain]

Nah man I fucked myself just like you did.. the worst effects lasted around two weeks I'd say then they started to slowly taper off. Lack of sleep and weed cause the symptoms to reappear so try to stick to a good sleeping schedule and if the weed makes it worse for you too, try to slow down on that. After a bit you start to feel like yourself again, it's a hard lesson learned.

 

[Raillery]

The only drugs I've been using is my prescription temazepam and suboxone. After your posts I get the feeling I prolly wont be up for the coming school year :/ It's a shame, I was so optimistic.

EDIT:I'm sorry if I'm wallowing, just thought it'd be before my exams and what not,

 

[Raillery]

You over did it and got a bit of psychosis, the rest was your body telling you no more.

The side effects from the psychosis can linger for months, had it last 6 months for me.
Other drug use (I find especially cannabis) will increase the feeling and delay the time before it wears off.

Does other drug use include benzos? Others told me benzos would help me return to normal faster, but they may be wrong.

Nah man I fucked myself just like you did.. the worst effects lasted around two weeks I'd say then they started to slowly taper off. Lack of sleep and weed cause the symptoms to reappear so try to stick to a good sleeping schedule and if the weed makes it worse for you too, try to slow down on that. After a bit you start to feel like yourself again, it's a hard lesson learned.

I haven't smoked weed for over a year. Do you think I will have recovered enough in a month to keep up my 3.9 GPA so I can get in to a good college? Again, I'm not that frequent a user, I think it's just this high dose that did this to me.

 

[Broken_LCD]

If you are on Suboxone you probably shouldn't be taking benzo's. I've been taking Suboxone for 6 months, and have to do a drug test every month, if they find benzo's in my urine I can get kicked off the Suboxone program.

They say benzo use and Suboxone is risky due to in some people it slowing down the respiratory system so much so they stop breathing and die.

I know most of us have taken opiates and benzo's together and been fine, but if you are taking Suboxone cuz you are serious about being clean I just wouldn't take the benzo's. Especially with what you just went through. I was prescribed Valium for a few years and Ativan, if I took enough of it, or took it when I felt "out of it" or "slowed down" then it just made it worse. I'd stay away and just stick to what you are prescribed/vitamins. Keep drinking water to try and flush your system and eat healthy foods, all that junk good luck!

 

[Raillery]

The doctor who prescribes my suboxone also prescribes my temazepam, I'm not in a program. I feel he wouldn't prescribe them in combination unless he knew for a fact it wasn't dangerous, as there are very few doctors where I live who are even able to prescribe suboxone. I've been on them for quite awhile with no problems, but I'll definitely look into this, thanks

Also, based on what I've described, do you think it will be closer to six months or one month for me to come back to near normal capacity? Or do you think I will have recovered enough to graduate at least?

 

[stuckinaloop]

my subuxone doc also prescribes 30x 30mg temazepam every month...its like a little gift

If you are on Suboxone you probably shouldn't be taking benzo's. I've been taking Suboxone for 6 months, and have to do a drug test every month, if they find benzo's in my urine I can get kicked off the Suboxone program.

They say benzo use and Suboxone is risky due to in some people it slowing down the respiratory system so much so they stop breathing and die.

I know most of us have taken opiates and benzo's together and been fine, but if you are taking Suboxone cuz you are serious about being clean I just wouldn't take the benzo's. Especially with what you just went through. I was prescribed Valium for a few years and Ativan, if I took enough of it, or took it when I felt "out of it" or "slowed down" then it just made it worse. I'd stay away and just stick to what you are prescribed/vitamins. Keep drinking water to try and flush your system and eat healthy foods, all that junk good luck!

 

[Raillery]

I'm feeling quite a bit better Thanks all!