Wife's complaints about sex?? And lack thereof....

[schmo75]

I'd figure I'd take the plunge and ask what's going on here. My wife no longer seems to like sex or it's seems like a chore to her. Her frequent complaints are:
1. It takes too long.
Anything over 5 minutes is too long. I'm on a SSRI for depression so the quickest I can finish is 20 minutes if I'm lucky. On average I usually give up after an hour. But, it wasn't always like this she used to enjoy the 3-6 hours marathons.
2. It hurts.
We always use plenty of lube, plus she's already orgasmed @ least once and plenty wet because I usually give her 10-15 minutes of oral.
I am a large guy, 6'4" 250(muscular)...plus I'm packing down there...I Admit I measured It, 11" to 12.5" depends on how horny I get. But I wouldn't characterize our sex as "rough". As for her she's 6' 260, yes I like bigger girls. I dated a 5'2" 95 lb girl in college, and
cried for like an hour after having sex...needless to say I was done with skinny chicks after that.

So are we just getting to old? Is she cheating on me? We had a daughter 18 months ago, but we continued hot and heavy after that up until this Aug(@ least 3x per week). Any clues? We're @ once a month if I'm lucky now. I'm also @ the point where an affair is tempting.

 

[munki]

Despite you saying that you guys were having sex until about six months ago about a year after the birth of your daughter, your wife's lack of libido could be connected to hormone fluctuations from relatively recently giving birth. I had almost no libido for almost three years after my son was born, but now it has definitely come back. Has she recently been to the doctor? There could be an underlying condition, not related to that also.

Communicating with her would be the best idea, instead of just jumping into an affair. Maybe she is feeling overwhelmed with being a mother, and feeling non-sexy because of that. 18 month olds can be pretty demanding (and two year olds and three year olds... 8)) How do you share parental and household duties? Have you tried to woo her; ie take her on dates, pamper her, etc? Maybe she needs more cuddling and gentleness than "hot and heavy" sex now.

 

[LilbabiC]

Have you asked her what's going on? It could be any of multiple reasons. It seems that maybe what your marriage is lacking would be communication. Without communication a marriage can fall apart quickly. Ask her what she is feeling and try to find a solution to the problem together.