Depression Why Can’t I Just Get Better?

[I'm-Still-Alive]

I’m just so tired of everything… just when one thing gets better, another thing happens. I can never be happy for long. All I want is to lay in bed and cry. Fuck today. Fuck yesterday. Fuck this past week. I just want to shoot some coke and have that dopamine rush. I want some time away from my boyfriend and work. I want to spend time with my family. But none of that is gonna fucking happen. I don’t fucking know. I have two grams of coke, two bags of rigs, everything I need for safe injection.. but I can’t get any alone time or peace. Fuck me. I just don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want to put up with the mood swings and the yelling. I don’t want to deal with my physical pain and the emotional stress. I’m over all of it. Just done. I want to disappear into the night if I could.

 

[Quasimoto]

Yeah, why can't you stop? It's a simple question.

I'm not being sarcastic or derogatory, I ask myself the same question every day.

Why not? What is really stopping you?

Thoughts? Feelings? Emotions? These are immaterial, they are not literal walls or fences.

I'm both responding to your post as well as talking to myself here.

 

[I'm-Still-Alive]

Yeah, why can't you stop? It's a simple question.

I'm not being sarcastic or derogatory, I ask myself the same question every day.

Why not? What is really stopping you?

Thoughts? Feelings? Emotions? These are immaterial, they are not literal walls or fences.

I'm both responding to your post as well as talking to myself here.

I don’t even know. I don’t even use all that often. Once every 4-6 months. But the rest of my shit… I can’t just make myself feel better. I just can’t. Nothing helps anymore. I feel so worthless.

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

Always time to change for the better!