If you want my honest advice, then you need to start looking within and watching your own thoughts and to try to stop constantly fixating on everything being negative.
The majority of your threads are roughly the same theme, which is that x, y or z is shit, or that x, y or z is 'going down the pan', and that can tell a lot about a person.
Your life is what you make of it. Yes, life is fucking hard. Depression, anxiety and their ilk make it really fucking hard. But I can guarantee that constantly recycling these ideas over and over that everything is shit is just your ego making your life a lot harder than it needs to be.
So this is my heartfelt advice to you, and I hope you take it the right way: You need to stop fixating on everything being shit. It isn't. Stop thinking it is and allowing negative thoughts to run rampant in your mind. See your ego for what it is, and you won't waste so much time hurting yourself with your own thoughts. Of course everything isn't going down the pan - quality of life significantly improves, on average, all the time.
Don't get me wrong - everybody is prone to shitty negative thoughts. But they are toxic, and they will consume anyone who lets them. See them for what they are.
I recommend the following book:
Eckhart Tolle - The Power Of Now
And you can read the following passage in full here. Some exerts which sum up the points I'm trying to make:
The greatest obstacle to experiencing the reality of your connectedness is identification with your mind, which causes thought to become compulsive. Not to be able to stop thinking is a dreadful affliction, but we don’t realize this because almost everybody is suffering from it, so it is considered normal. This incessant mental noise prevents you from finding that realm of inner stillness that is inseparable from Being. It also creates a false mind-made self that casts a shadow of fear and suffering.
Identification with your mind creates an opaque screen of concepts, labels, images, words, judgements, and definitions that blocks all true relationship. It comes between you and yourself, between you and your fellow man and woman, between you and nature. It is this screen of thought that creates the illusion of separateness, the illusion that there is you and a totally separate “other.” You then forget the essential fact that, underneath the level of physical appearances and separate forms, you are one with all that is.
The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive. To put it more accurately, it is not so much that you use your mind wrongly - you usually don’t use it at all. It uses you. This is the disease. You believe that you are your mind. This is the delusion. The instrument has taken you over.
It’s almost as if you were possessed without knowing it, and so you take the possessing entity to be yourself.
THE BEGINNING OF FREEDOM is the realization that you are not the possessing entity - the thinker. Knowing this enables you to observe the entity. The moment you start watching the thinker, a higher level of consciousness becomes activated.
The good news is that you can free yourself from your mind. This is the only true liberation. You can take the first step right now.
START LISTENING TO THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD as often as you can. Pay particular attention to any repetitive thought patterns, those old audiotapes that have been playing in your head perhaps for many years.
This is what I mean by “watching the thinker,” which is another way of saying: Listen to the voice in your head, be there as the witnessing presence.
When you listen to that voice, listen to it impartially. That is to say, do not judge. Do not judge or condemn what you hear, for doing so would mean that the same voice has come in again through the back door. You’ll soon realize: There is the voice, and here I am listening to it, watching it. This I am realization, this sense of your own presence, is not a thought. It arises from beyond the mind.
So when you listen to a thought, you are aware not only of the thought but also of yourself as the witness of the thought.
AS YOU LISTEN TO THE THOUGHT, you feel a conscious presence - your deeper self - behind or underneath the thought, as it were. The thought then loses its power over you and quickly subsides, because you are no longer energizing the mind through identification with it. This is the beginning of the end of involuntary and compulsive thinking.
I've missed a lot out, so click the link and/or acquire the book if you want to read it in full, but I've highlighted some of the key points. FTR his writing style can be very whimsical, but the content is solid.
I know that it can seem a bit patronising when you're depressed etc and people say things like "well have you tried meditation?", as if everything will just suddenly slot into place and your depression/anxiety/woes will all just dissipate like butterflies on a gentle breeze. But I have read a lot of your threads, and interacted with you in a lot of them, and my interpretation is that you're somewhat obsessed with seeing the bad side in things and that this is leading to a lot of anxst, which I find is best addressed via meditation and observing yourself.
So observe your mind, observe your own thoughts without judgement. Question whether your thoughts are positive or negative and how they make you feel.
I'll give you the realisation in a nutshell though; thinking about negative shit all the time is a drain. On both you, and those around you.
I've watched a couple of your youtube videos (which you posted) and you seem alright, and I can tell there's a good person in there who likes to ponder deeper topics and have a laugh.
Just don't let that person drown in your own negativity. Because it's
very easily done. I've watched my own negative thoughts take hold, or attempt to, and it isn't pretty.
I hope this post is well received, because it is well intended.
There is a wealth of information on the internet on how to improve yourself/your life/be happy etc etc. But until you get to thinking the right way, there is little chance of change happening.
TLDR; take control of your mind and only let the good stuff in. Then let it flourish.
