When your mate is your dealer

[Crash Override]

Problematic? I know people often say that to be able to stay clean you need to cut all ties to anyone who might influence that or be a source of temptation. My mates my dealer, but I don't see him much when I'm clean and that seems like a sad thing.... He's not pushy, he'll only give me stuff when I ask. But he's got my back, he's a good mate that I don't want to lose.

Just wondering on peoples opinions really.

Hope this is the right forum for this.

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

Problematic? I know people often say that to be able to stay clean you need to cut all ties to anyone who might influence that or be a source of temptation. My mates my dealer, but I don't see him much when I'm clean and that seems like a sad thing.... He's not pushy, he'll only give me stuff when I ask. But he's got my back, he's a good mate that I don't want to lose.

Just wondering on peoples opinions really.

Hope this is the right forum for this.

If he's not badgering you to buy when you don't wanna buy, he's a mate. Keep him. It's not like good mates are a dime a dozen.

 

[Robi]

I had to turn away, watching my plug/friend, start giving kids fent(teens)saw him get richer and dealing with the very poor, he would give deals to the bigger buyers(of course) but i had to walk away and take numbers out my phone(6 months later) but yeah, i had to stop taking care of his dogs and everything, just too easy for me to fall back because he was very charming and beautiful

 

[Jerry Atrick]

A few years ago I was dating a girl who was a dealer. She eventually became my dealer out of convenience.

Didn't end well when I introduced her to one of my friends as a customer for her product but she tried to date him behind my back instead. Womp womp.

 

[December Flower]

If he's not badgering you to buy when you don't wanna buy, he's a mate. Keep him. It's not like good mates are a dime a dozen.

Agreed. I always say "if you find a good person on this planet, do not let go."

 

[Juniper Bruhmomentius]

Problematic. Maybe not immediately, BUT IT WILL BE.

Casual dealing will propably be alright.

 

[Crash Override]

If he's not badgering you to buy when you don't wanna buy, he's a mate. Keep him. It's not like good mates are a dime a dozen.

Agreed. I always say "if you find a good person on this planet, do not let go."

I wouldn't go as far to say he's a good person but he's certainly not an absolute wanker. I've known him a good 15 years now and he's always been decent to me, doesn't push anything, let's me stay when things are dire and understands what it's like. I guess I understand why people see him as a bad influence and then blame me for mixing with the "wrong people" when things go tits up.

 

[Crash Override]

I had to turn away, watching my plug/friend, start giving kids fent(teens)saw him get richer and dealing with the very poor, he would give deals to the bigger buyers(of course) but i had to walk away and take numbers out my phone(6 months later) but yeah, i had to stop taking care of his dogs and everything, just too easy for me to fall back because he was very charming and beautiful

He sounds like an arse. People like him know how to manipulate to get what they want.

 

[Crash Override]

Problematic. Maybe not immediately, BUT IT WILL BE.

Casual dealing will propably be alright.

Because it makes it easy and more tempting to use or because it will complicate a friendship? We've been mates 15 years and he's been my go to all that time with little issue.

 

[tubgirl.jpg]

It will be problematic if it's triggering for you. Is it triggering for you? Have you told him that you don't want him to give you drugs anymore?
If not, start by doing that.

 

[Juniper Bruhmomentius]

Propably depends on the substance and the person and the chemistry. Most dealers aint stable, yknow?

 

[Crash Override]

It will be problematic if it's triggering for you. Is it triggering for you? Have you told him that you don't want him to give you drugs anymore?
If not, start by doing that.

No I don't think it's triggering. When I'm clean we just drink together and that's all cool. Apart from the last few weeks I've been clean for the last year while still hanging out occasionally. And I've never told him not to give me anything. I think if I did and then asked for something he'd likely just give it to me anyway.

 

[Crash Override]

Propably depends on the substance and the person and the chemistry. Most dealers aint stable, yknow?

Yeah very true.

 

[Jabberwocky]

If your friend is also your dealer, if they front you drugs... make sure you pay it back on time

I ruined a friendship that way :/

 

[andyturbo]

No I don't think it's triggering. When I'm clean we just drink together and that's all cool. Apart from the last few weeks I've been clean for the last year while still hanging out occasionally. And I've never told him not to give me anything. I think if I did and then asked for something he'd likely just give it to me anyway.

It sounds like it should be fine and not risk throwing a long friendship away if you arnt triggered and he respects not offering stuff.

 

[Crash Override]

If your friend is also your dealer, if they front you drugs... make sure you pay it back on time

I ruined a friendship that way :/

Sorry man, that really sucks. I've been close to that to be honest. Entirely my fault. Learnt my lesson.

 

[Crash Override]

It sounds like it should be fine and not risk throwing a long friendship away if you arnt triggered and he respects not offering stuff.

I guess maybe the real question is how to get other people off my back about the friendships I chose to have?

 

[Jerry Atrick]

Problematic? I know people often say that to be able to stay clean you need to cut all ties to anyone who might influence that or be a source of temptation. My mates my dealer, but I don't see him much when I'm clean and that seems like a sad thing.... He's not pushy, he'll only give me stuff when I ask. But he's got my back, he's a good mate that I don't want to lose.

Just wondering on peoples opinions really.

Hope this is the right forum for this.

I reread the OP and have a different comment. If you are clean and can hang out with your friend while still not using, then I don't see any problem.

Abstinence is different than harm reduction. People who push 100% abstinence may indeed try to persuade you to cut ties with ANYONE you used to get drugs from or get high with. Like I said above here, if it's not a problem then tell the abstinence people to fuck off. Ultimately, you are in charge of who you choose to associate with, not them.

 

[tubgirl.jpg]

No I don't think it's triggering. When I'm clean we just drink together and that's all cool. Apart from the last few weeks I've been clean for the last year while still hanging out occasionally. And I've never told him not to give me anything. I think if I did and then asked for something he'd likely just give it to me anyway.

Alrighty then. I don't see how it will be a problem. I wish you good luck man!

 

[Crash Override]

I reread the OP and have a different comment. If you are clean and can hang out with your friend while still not using, then I don't see any problem.

Abstinence is different than harm reduction. People who push 100% abstinence may indeed try to persuade you to cut ties with ANYONE you used to get drugs from or get high with. Like I said above here, if it's not a problem then tell the abstinence people to fuck off. Ultimately, you are in charge of who you choose to associate with, not them.

Yeah the people who are putting doubt in my mind are mostly my family who don't get it. Everyone thinks I should be completely clean but I don't know if that's right or possible. To be honest I'm not sure I trust my own judgement. I don't know what is right. But they're the people who deal with it when I take things too far so maybe they are right. I don't know. I'm really very confused.