First off, I wish you only the
BEST as you start your journey of finally kicking the wicked 'Lady H.' It's
INCREDIBLY difficult and you will be continuously tested each and every day until the drug no longer has a firm grasp on your life.
You've taken the first step (and it's a big one) by confronting your addiction head-on. It shows a great amount of dedication to quit on your part by posting a thread here at Bluelight. Sometimes the hardest part about kicking the habit is moving past the denial that you're even an addict. Apparently this is no issue with you!
I honestly believe that with a special combination of self-motivation and constant support you'll be waving goodbye to this addiction in no time!
Even though Heroin was my Drug Of Choice, I considered myself an opiate addict. If I didn't have access to H for whatever reason, any other half-way decent opiate would of sufficed...from a handful of Vicodin to a few Fentanyl patches. It's was fucking pathetic actually. I laughed when I was high but cried uncontrollably when I wasn't - I was messed up. My
LIFE was messed up. All the reasons I wanted out of this opiate love triangle are probably identical to
ANYONE who quit. I lost friends, respect, trust from family, self-esteem and even (for a short but long enough period of time) my freedom. My stupidity and feelings of "untouchable" landed my dumb-ass in Chicago's notorious Cook County Jail for two weeks for possession of a controlled substance. It was God awful. I was ashamed of myself and felt horrible about what I had just put my family and friends through.
It comes down to one thing really - when you've finally realized that you no longer want to be an addict, you
WILL quit. I'm not talking about your standard: "I'm done with this shit" scenario just because you finished the last of your supply. This is just your way of convincing yourself that being without shit to get you high will be okay until you can cop some more. Like me, you'll be struck with this huge epiphany where so many things will come to your attention and you'll feel this incredible strength to fight for your own life back. Once this happens, your addiction stands not a fucking chance. At this point, you have become stronger than the addiction itself and absolutely
NOTHING can keep you from going through with quitting.
I stopped using with so many reasons in mind. I was diagnosed with cancer, I spent a few weeks in county jail for possession, I was slowly distancing myself from those I care about, I was losing any and all motivation to do practically anything and most important, I wanted
ME back!!!
In conclusion ~ whatever your reason(s), I assure you that if you are absolutely done with your addiction and would like your life back, you will have all the power and strength to succeed. Addiction is only as strong as the individual allows. The majority of us give in completely to our addiction and allow it to dictate our lives. At some point, everyone either allows that situation to continue or takes their life back. You've chosen to do the latter and I applaud you!
Good luck and remember we are here to help you through the process. Don't forget that if kicking your 'H' habit becomes extremely difficult, there is medical assistance available including Suboxone, support groups and psychiatry help (to battle the depression and mood instability often experienced from opiate addiction and withdrawal).
Take care,
R*B
