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What should I do?

J

jiffilube

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 8, 2009
Messages
119
Location
Pennsylvania
I posted this in E & C as well, but I figured I would get different feedback from those who take a more psychedelic standpoint on things and might have been though my dilemma. Ever since I've began really thinking about life and the meaning of it all, especially on psychs, I've began to really doubt the point of me actually trying hard in school to the point of it stressing me out. I'm already more intelligent and have amassed more knowledge than the majority of my teachers even, but I'm constantly pushed and taught that grades are all that matters anymore. I really cant do it anymore, my quest for good grades is truly beginning to degrade my quality of life and I feel like I learn less because of school. The future means nothing to me, so I have no career worries. I just need to know is it worth it?
 
I want through the same thing and it can be pretty hard to get past. You just have to realize this is the way the world currently works and that soon enough you wont be in school any longer and then you'll truly be able to make your own decisons for yourself and what you really want to do.
 
We are in the exact same spot. This goes hand in hand with the social alienation many psychedelically-minded individuals put up with.

I'm going to assume you and I have some similarities on a basic level. Not to sound arrogant but I know I'm a very intelligent person, but I simply don't get along with traditional schooling. Ever since I've been out of elementary school, where education is something that adapts to the student, I've struggled immensely. This is because past that point YOU have to adapt to the system, and for many people that is a tremendous difficulty.

Of course, I've been diagnosed with ADD. I'm one of those "creative kids" who's such a god damn "free spirit" that he can't do his god damn homework hahaha. I'm really not lazy, when I care about something and I see a positive purpose behind it, I can really give it my all and do an amazing job. I just need to be able to see purpose behind things. For example in English class, I can get nearly 100% percent on a 15 page essay/creative writing piece, because I think self expression is important in our world. But in Algebra, despite knowing damn well what I'm doing, it's almost impossible for me to maintain a decent grade. Unless, it's presented to me in a manner that gives me some sense of purpose, such as real world applications or some type of creative problem solving situation. In fact in elementary school I was in a "talented and gifted" math program, where in 5th grade, I was doing 12th grade level mathematics. And I excelled, because it was presented in that way.

Everything about the traditional school system contradicts my values and brain function in general. But I just need to put up with it, because in this world, nobody will pay you solely for skill or passion. You need a little piece of paper saying you worked your ass off for a large part of your younger years. I'm really wanting to go to college for graphic design, and I'm not being a know-it-all teenager when I say I'm completely prepared for that where I stand right now. But It' just jumping through some god damn hoops, then I can do what I love.
 
The future may mean nothing to you now, but as the years roll by you may regret any harsh decisions you make now. Take it from somebody who has made some very poor choices!

At the time I thought I was doing the right thing, dropping out of the good track I was on to feel less like a slave. But now, years later, I really regret doing so. One bad choice led to a whole string of bad fortune which would not have happened, had I not ditched out like I did.

Measure your heart carefully to see what you want now and in the future. Do you want to work in a second-rate job because you let your grades slip? Do you want to hang on and push your nose to the grindstone to get better jobs? Do you want to live in the gutter because the future means nothing to you?

Remember, poor choices have a way of cascading.
 
Idealism is a very beautiful thing, but so is being able to feed yourself and have a roof over your head. Stay in school, I'm not saying you have to do some GPA body building shit, just stick with it.
 
nearjat said:
Idealism is a very beautiful thing, but so is being able to feed yourself and have a roof over your head.
Click to expand...

Ain't that the truth.

I've always been one for simplicity. You don't need to make a lot of money to live comfortably. You don't need to go post-secondary if it's not for you, but to live a comfortable life you're going to at least have to get your high school. It won't take that long.
 
Funny that I've noticed talk about this in PD recently, I'm going through the same thing. I can't wait to finally finish high school so I can figure out what I want to do after that.
 
jiffilube said:
The future means nothing to me, so I have no career worries. I just need to know is it worth it?
Click to expand...

I don't think you'd be asking questions like this if the future really meant nothing to you.


I'm in a pretty similar situation myself. I brought it up in PD Social a little while back. My current plan is to test out of high school and take a few classes at my local community college. Just two or three - I'll try to pick subjects that hold my interest. Being only a part time student will free up enough time to earn good grades, and have a life too, ideally. That way, when the time comes to apply for a more specialized school, I'll have some evidence of being a dutiful student (if not a full-time one).
 
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