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What should I do with my life?

watermelon14

watermelon14

Bluelighter
Joined
May 16, 2017
Messages
66
Location
NC, USA
I did very well in high school and had no problems getting accepted into colleges. I attended college for about two years, but dropped out because I had frequent anxiety attacks that prevented me from going to class, resulting in extremely poor grades.

Now, I've moved back in with my parents and am currently doing... nothing. And I don't even know what I want to do. Should I go back to school? My grades were so bad that if I were to go back, I'd HAVE to go back to the same institution where I was because transferring is not an option. Should I just try to find a job and stick with it? I've been applying to all the places around here that are hiring with no luck, presumably because I have little experience to speak of.

I also have a DUI on my record and no drivers license for a year, which doesn't help things.

Does anyone have any advice for me? I feel like my life is just going downhill and there's nothing I can do.
 
Start your own company man. Trust yourself :)

Or... if that's not your cup of tea, save up some money and go backpacking. Asia or Hawaii are good choices, heck even Europe if you want!
 
Thats a good question!
I second Jokoin trust yourself is number 1
And backpacking is not a bad idea either
i wanted to go to school again also been preparing for it 3 month,s
but then it hit me wil it make me happy going to school again 3 years ? and get a 9 to 5 job after ?
i tought no ima follow my luck or whatever makes me happy
and you should do the same follow youre intuition and what makes you happy!
 
I'd spent the time you don't have a license as a time to work on yourself. Work on improving your mental and physical health and wellbeing. Part of this will mean learning ways to work more skillfully with your anxiety (I know how challenging and gratifying this can be). But a big part of it will also mean doing things that are true to you.

What is keeping you from transferring academic institutions? If you are struggling to find a job and making money isn't an immediate necessity, find an organization you admire, whether it be a no kill/animal shelter, a library, harm reduction organization or whatever to volunteer or intern at. There are lots of really interesting opportunities out there at your age if you can deal with not being paid for a little while.

Considering you live with them right now, are your family/parents supportive (I mean it sounds like they are materially, but are they emotionally/etc)?

Probably the best way to find work is by networking. If you family or friends know of anything, or perhaps have jobs you could see yourself in, they kinds of people are a huge resource (if they're there that is).

You know it's harder to get a job without a drivers license, so this is part of why I suggest using this year to focus on improving yourself, particularly while you have the support of your family. You'll have more opportunities work wise a year from now, so the more you can get yourself and your body-mind in as good a place as possible for when that happens, the easier everything will be. Think of it as investing in your future :)
 
How's your anxiety? First things, first, deal with your anxiety! Are you seeing a therapist? If not, please find one! Google, "find a psychologist and your city/state". You should come up with a search engine and be able to search by insurance (you still covered under your parents). Get into therapy and deal with your anxiety. If you enroll in school and don't deal with the issues, guarantee, the past will repeat itself.

What places are you applying at? I mean, you can't get a job.. anywhere? Starbucks? Restaurant? Or are you aiming too high..?
 
get into some sort of trade or school course and stick with it, something with high demand like any number of medical positions that will provide a good living for you. You could be making 50,000 in 2-4 years if you do something like this and trust me, that time flies right by. where will you be in 2-4 years?

you can even do some tracks online mostly which will help with your anxiety. see a psychiatrist about it also.

Most importantly do something and finish it or you will be in the same place in 5 years
 
watermelon14 said:
I did very well in high school and had no problems getting accepted into colleges. I attended college for about two years, but dropped out because I had frequent anxiety attacks that prevented me from going to class, resulting in extremely poor grades.

Now, I've moved back in with my parents and am currently doing... nothing. And I don't even know what I want to do. Should I go back to school? My grades were so bad that if I were to go back, I'd HAVE to go back to the same institution where I was because transferring is not an option. Should I just try to find a job and stick with it? I've been applying to all the places around here that are hiring with no luck, presumably because I have little experience to speak of.

I also have a DUI on my record and no drivers license for a year, which doesn't help things.

Does anyone have any advice for me? I feel like my life is just going downhill and there's nothing I can do.
Click to expand...


You can do anything you want to do. Anything. Remember that your consciousness creates your reality.
 
^ you can. and not only that but the process of finding what you want to do is something to be embraced and enjoyed. think of the liberty of knowing that you can do whatever you want!

it's an important part of really getting to know yourself and that's a great thing too. i wrote this a while ago but i think it applies:

alasdairm said:
what do you do when you want to get to know somebody? spend time alone with them, ask them questions, get intimate.

do that. with yourself.
Click to expand...

alasdair
 
alasdairm said:
^ you can. and not only that but the process of finding what you want to do is something to be embraced and enjoyed. think of the liberty of knowing that you can do whatever you want!

it's an important part of really getting to know yourself and that's a great thing too. i wrote this a while ago but i think it applies:



alasdair
Click to expand...

This is outstanding advice, advice I'm planning on using as an excuse to get to know one of my mindfulness colleagues at UCLA I've had my eye on :)

I mean, if anyone asked me I'd be doing this mindfulness stuff at UCLA or getting an MDiv to pursue hospital chaplaincy fifteen, ten or even five years ago, I'd have asked for some of whatever drug you were taking.

I feel like if you invest time in pursuing your passions and, perhaps more than anything, getting out there and devoting plenty of effort to exploring new things in life, everything else seems to work itself out better than you'd think. Take it from this junctional funky ex-intravenous drug user, as long as you care about living authentically and take small meaningful steps to live more authentically, things tend to work themselves out very organically.
 
If you were good at school and fell at the wayside at college, you should definitely if you can give it another shot as this has happened to many including me. I went down a path I regret so much that it is in the back of my mind everyday of my life but I am working it up to hopefully retirning to third level next year.

Work on what is holding you back and if I can advice is keep trying to learn get new skills. You wil appreciate it in the long run. Look to better yourself with what is at your disposal.

We all make mistakes and suffer from bouts of anxiety and depression but you can beat it and become the person at some point of your life you always envisioned and wanted to become.
 
Hey, I was in a similar situation to you. Had to take two years out then get back to it, had to work during those two years and it took me just under a year to get a job 'cause no minimum wage place would take me 'cause of lack of experience. This'll be a really individual journey that's unique to you, so take your time to find your own meaning in life, ways of being alongside your anxiety and career plan. Go in as small or as big steps as you need to.

I like the prospects.ac.uk site for doing personality kind of tests and lots of career info for picking out a long term goal to aim for, if a long term goal to aim for is something you want.

I found volunteering to be so valuable, so that could be something to explore. First for self confidence and integrating into a community, but also it'll look good on your CV so you can get experience, and a lot of places only hire internally from their pool of volunteers.

Good luck <3
 
^That is great advice. People overlook volunteering but it can be both meaningful and a great place to gain specific types of experience--something few minimum wage jobs offer. But having a minimum wage job is a helpful kind of experience in itself. I found waiting tables to be a great training in how to handle stress!:)
 
I get where everyone’s coming from, but my advice would be to go back and finish college as soon as possible. If you put it off now you may never go back. I went through this and I have terrible anxiety as well. I realize now that I should have just pushed through.

The longer you wait the more reasons you will have to not go back.

I don’t know if you have meds for your anxiety, but if you don’t , find a good doctor and tell them what’s going on.
 
watermelon14 said:
I did very well in high school and had no problems getting accepted into colleges. I attended college for about two years, but dropped out because I had frequent anxiety attacks that prevented me from going to class, resulting in extremely poor grades.

Now, I've moved back in with my parents and am currently doing... nothing. And I don't even know what I want to do. Should I go back to school? My grades were so bad that if I were to go back, I'd HAVE to go back to the same institution where I was because transferring is not an option. Should I just try to find a job and stick with it? I've been applying to all the places around here that are hiring with no luck, presumably because I have little experience to speak of.

I also have a DUI on my record and no drivers license for a year, which doesn't help things.

Does anyone have any advice for me? I feel like my life is just going downhill and there's nothing I can do.
Click to expand...

Wow you sound a lot like me. I mean I did shit in school and dropped out. Mainly cause of psychological issues. Recently started living with my mom again even though I swore to myself I never would cause I wanted to get away from heroin. I also have a DUI (heroin not alcohol) and can't get a license till next year.

And like you, I got no fucking clue what I want to do with my life if anything. Sorry man, wish I had better advice, but I got nothing. All I can tell you is you're not alone in feeling like this.
 
It's easier to sit around and do nothing than it is to take the first step, until you take that first step. It's like lying in bed in the morning, it's very easy to just want to lay there all day, and you can until you need to pee.. but as soon as you get up and about you soon forget you were lying down in the first place and what seemed so good at the time now seems like nonsense. You got to learn and see how you're allowing your moods to outwit yourself, and understand how to head them off before they take hold. The same thing applies to beating addictions or depressive states.

I was close to falling through the cracks when I was younger and sitting around all day smoking green. I had no idea what I wanted to do but had a long list of things I didn't want to do, along with a fair bit of anxiety. Now I'm doing something I said I didn't want to do.. work behind a desk in a corporate office, literally the highest thing on my never want to do list. But you know what it beats having no money, no direction at all, no self-esteem, no one to talk to (even if they're still way different to me). I've gone from being way overdrawn, college dropout, scrawny to the point of anorexic.. to holding down a good job, in the industry I got my degree in, now back in shape and feeling confident, with a little bit of money saved up. Anxiety is still there but way less than it was. It's taken about 8 years from the point where I thought "this is shit, and I feel like shit" to where I am now. My greatest regret was not starting sooner (or not fucking up in the first place, but hey life isn't always a straight line).. but it's better to start than never start at all.

Fight. You got to light the fire under your ass. Either that or wait until you get thrown into a cell and let circumstances force a change in you, at a higher cost than what it would have been had you lit your own fire in the first place. Learn to forgive yourself and love yourself, and others if need be, then fight!

The best first step for anyone is exercise. Period. It shifts your mood so much it makes taking that second step easier, in fact it makes it inviting instead of being lost somewhere in the mist of your mental moods.


Honestly, I think we have too much choice in this world, too many fantasies and dreams (getting high doesn't help that). Life isn't that complicated but we make it so. Attachment to desire causes suffering, so say'eth Buddha. Just taking care of the basics in your life can be enough to fill you with satisfaction, no need to over think it. Go to back to college if it will help you advance, especially if they'll take you back and the degree will help you get into something decent.
 
I agree. OP, you would do well to read that post a few times and digest the wisdom in it over time. We do make things incredibly complicated when all most of us want is a basic and simple life.
 
Get your ass a job , pay your parents, lawyer, bills. Stay out of trouble, that's your job , you don't need school to be successful these days. Just get a job , save money, make some friends, move on . You'll figure it out but for now just work and stay out of jail
 
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