What should i do with my life?

[DrugsAreBad420]

To start off I am a college freshman in my second semester. I am in Junior college right now. Basically i am in a program where i go to junior college and after 2 years they give me an associates degree and then i am automatically admitted into the main college (which is a good university). I live on campus in the dorm rooms.

I have 3 or 4 really great friends here at college. and then a few other people that come around. That is about it though. And that isnt enough for me.

When i was in high school, my senior year I had the kind of house where people came and went. I also had a girlfriend. I lived in a small town as well. If there wasnt anything going on Me and my girlfreind would just kind of hang out at my house and drink. people would stop by and some would hang out for the night, some would just stop by for a little then go out, etc.

And that was something that i liked a lot. to have my great friends come by to see me all the time, a girlfriend that i really liked, money, and everything else. I was just really loving life at that point and it was great.

Now i am at college and I have no girlfriend, not too many freinds, and no money. I find things to do but i just flat out dont like the majority of people i meet at this school and they dont seem to be too into making friends with me either.

But i am doing very well academically and enjoy not living with my parents.

I am accepted to Montclair State University for Fall 2006. It is on the same level as the school i currently attend and probaly is slightly better. If i went there i would have to commute to school. I am not too sure if i want to live with my parents though and i dont think that i would be able to afford any kind of apartment or house (even with roomates). However my parents have said that my Junior year they would give me $500 a month for a place to live off campus (they did the same for my brother, who is 2 years older then me).

The other thing that has me waivering on this is that my buddy who is a smart guy and who did much better then me in high school, failed out of Montclair State in his first semester there. He was an honor roll student and stuff and scored 1150 on the SATS (i scored 1230 so we are comparable there as well). But i didnt try very hard in High school though and i am doing great in college.

But i really need advice on this. I am not happy at the school where i am right now but i wouldnt say its miserable either. On a scale of 1-10 i would say i am like a 3 or 4.

What do you guys think i should do? I can

1. Transfer after this semester to the other school and live with my parents/hope that i can convince them to pay for an apartment/house (they are paying for my school and would save loads of money if i transferred to a state school so maybe i can convince them but its an uphill battle)

2. Graduate from Junior college in Spring 2007 and get my Associates degree and then get a job

3. Graduate from Junior college and then transfer schools

4. Just stay where i am now, graduate from junior college, then graduate from the main school.

I really need advice on this.

 

[chrissie]

I'm going to shoot this over to College&University. You may get a better response there

 

[funks_hybrid]

I'd say transfer to montclair if they have dorms. Dorms would help you a) get your social life put together and b) get you out of your parents house. Why not actually look for another school to transfer to in the fall though? I was unhappy with my school, so durring my 3rd semester there I applied to another school, got accepted, and am now across the country at my new school with a much better social life, better grades, and an overall higher quality of life. Seriously, 3 or 4 out of 10? that's not very good, is it? There are more aspects to a college than it's accademic level. You gotta look at the social life, extra programs, dorm life, and what kind of people go there. I'd say get on collegeboard or princetonreview and look for schools in a region you like, with your major. Go visit some schools on the weekends, talk with academic advisors there and see if they have programs that you like.

I think, in the end, i'm telling you that the 4 options you've given yourself absolutely suck. they're too limiting! Go out and look for a school and find one you actually enjoy! you're spending the next 3 years of your life there, might as well make sure it's gonna be better than a 4/10

 

[DJstupid]

Pick a school you like and really want to attend. I made the mistake of going to college because it was convenient. Everything worked out for me but I sometimes wonder how things would be different. College can be so stressful sometimes and I think you must place yourself in the best possible evironment to cope. If that means going to school at a far off place then so be it. Be warned however; if you get homesick and miss your friends and family then it is hard to go visit when you live 11 hours away!
A question: why are you unhappy? You have three or four GREAT friends which sounds fantastic. Realize as people get older, they tend to go from many "party friends" and aquaitances to a few really good friends. I say if you have at least a couple really good friends that you can trust with your life and who you can truly connect with, then you are a lot better than most people.
Also, realize college is a time where you will be perpetually broke for 3 to 5 years. It sucks, I hate it too; but sometimes we have to sacrifice what we have now to gain financial stability in the future.
What you are going through is common; I think it's called the freshmen blues. It is the drastic change that accompanies the dramatic change in lifestyle and environment. People deal with it in various ways: some turn inward and may get depressed and even suicidal (the rate of suicide of first year students is phenominal). Many people turn outward and binge-drink, party, and use drugs. So just know that is normal. In addition, knowing this might make you feel a little more connected to your fellow students, knowing they are probably experiencing the same as you.
You must expect things will be different for you than in high school. Afterall, you are getting older and getting more responsibility. I look back at my HS days and miss the parties and many friends but I realize that at some point that lifestyle must end for me to lead a constructive life. I'm not saying accept a hermit-like social life; you should try to balance academics and a social life.

If you are truly unhappy and dont see any future in what you are doing then try to change things. DOnt force contentment. But also realize that there will be some unhappiness to be expected with any major life transition. Good luck

About your friend flunking out: Many other variables other than SAT predict success in college. As you are probably learning college education is nothing like HS education. It's not just memorizing facts, its communication of ideas, time managment, motivation, and discipline. If your friend was gravely lacking in one of these areas that could affect his academics.