What options do I have to LEGALLY protect myself when he's parolled in May?

QuestionEverything

QuestionEverything

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Wow, how the years fly by. This whole experience has really opened my eyes to the reality of our legal system. It took over a year after this happened to even get to the point of having a trial. Years and two parole hearings later, the time has come for this psycho to go before the parole board once again in May. They straight up told me after the last hearing that they will be granting him parole at this next hearing unless something drastically changed in the next 6 months. They want him out then because then he can be monitored instead of keeping him another year and then releasing him totally free. That makes sense to me. He's ended up serving what, almost 4 years, because of his total lack of self control, yet I find this whole 'good time' thing the prisons have to be completely outrageous, but that's off topic ...

What I want to know is what are my options, legally speaking, for protecting myself? I've heard that he can be 'banned' from ever coming to the county that I live in (I now live in Ohio), but will that not just tell him exactly where I'm located??

I still own that gun, but have never taken it out of the lock box or even bought ammunition for it, I doubt I even still have the key for the box. I'm just not comfortable with having that in my home other than how it is now - literally locked away without a key.

Are tasers legal and effective?? Something like that I would be comfortable with.

Thanks for any advice you can offer in advance.
 
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I'm unsure what kind of gun you have, but if you're worried about him coming into your house, having a shotgun handy would be useful if you knew how to handle it. Any gun would be useful, but again, do you know how to use it properly? Are they accessible in a quick manner? Is there a likelihood that you won't fire, and he'll just take it from you?

I've heard decent stuff about tasers, but you may want to just consider mace. A good shot of pepper spray would stop most people in their tracks, it's easier to use (if you're not skilled with firearms), and if he uses it against you, it doesn't kill you (like if you tried knifing/shooting him, and he got control of the weapon). If you do use mace, they have these little keychain ones (my fiance uses that), just make sure it actually works. I'd also get one of those loud 'problem' whistles or whatever they're called, if he attacked you, just mace him and start making all the noise you can.

Or maybe a dog? If you have a very loyal pitbull, that may be a great deterrant.
 
I have two children, and I'm not skilled with any sort of firearms, so that's not really an option I'm considering. I'm hoping this scumbag will leave me alone, but he's told everyone he's come in contact with (including the parole board) that he can't wait to find me.

For the same reasons as above, I don't want a pitbull.

Can you even buy real mace or tasers legally? I thought it was illegal, but I don't really know, which is why I'm asking here.
 
I don't know the answer to your question about the taser, but you should think about getting a restraining order, and seeking any help you can from the local police.
 
Go to the police and get a restraining order against him, with the history given you should get one granted. The police probably won't help until something actually happens, but at least if you have a restraining order in place they should come round immediately when you call them.

As for self defence, you should probably consider taking up martial arts classes.
Also pepper spray appears to be legal in Ohio and is the least problematic from a legal standpoint, a gun or a tasar has too much potential to be used against you or lead to legal consequences from its use.
 
QuestionEverything said:
I have two children, and I'm not skilled with any sort of firearms, so that's not really an option I'm considering. I'm hoping this scumbag will leave me alone, but he's told everyone he's come in contact with (including the parole board) that he can't wait to find me.

For the same reasons as above, I don't want a pitbull.

Can you even buy real mace or tasers legally? I thought it was illegal, but I don't really know, which is why I'm asking here.
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Where I live, well where I lived when I got her the mace, it was technically not legal. I could legally buy it but she couldn't, so I just bought it for her. *However*, I had previously been told by a higher-level police officer that a woman carrying illegal mace won't be given much, or any, trouble for it (sexist, absolutely, but that's what he said to me, so we didn't worry much about getting it for her).
 
stealthtrucker said:
just dont let him know where you live..... america is a big fuckin country
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very true. *however*, we don't know who this guy is and what he's like. There are definitely people who know how to find practically anyone (or know the kind of person they need to find and pay to locate somebody).
 
I am fairly sure that Tasers are more illegal than guns for private ownership (go figure).

Avoiding being found is a good start, but the sad fact is that unless you are extraordinarily dedicated to disappearing, anyone who knows a few pieces of info about you can find you for about $50 online.

Mace sounds good, perhaps its time to dust off the firearm though.

If your state does GPS monitoring of parolees, perhaps you could try to convince the board to order the monitoring for him which would make it more difficult for him to go near you.

You might also try making friends with any neighbors who are cops.
 
Facekhan said:
I am fairly sure that Tasers are more illegal than guns for private ownership
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Do you have any cite to Ohio law?

(go figure).
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I'm guessing it's because the "National Taser Association" isn't one of the strongest lobbies in America.
 
Facekhan said:
I am fairly sure that Tasers are more illegal than guns for private ownership (go figure).

Avoiding being found is a good start, but the sad fact is that unless you are extraordinarily dedicated to disappearing, anyone who knows a few pieces of info about you can find you for about $50 online.

Mace sounds good, perhaps its time to dust off the firearm though.

If your state does GPS monitoring of parolees, perhaps you could try to convince the board to order the monitoring for him which would make it more difficult for him to go near you.

You might also try making friends with any neighbors who are cops.
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Ditto to the tasers prolly being close to, if not on par with, guns. *But*, a gun is only a gun, if you're not good at it, or you can't bring yourself to pull the trigger when the time comes, or if you just can't aim well, or you have a little .22, you're prolly better off with the mace. You'll have a higher likelihood of getting him with the mace, a higher likelihood you'd actually use the weapon, and a lower problem if he grabs it from your hand.

Also, about making friends with local cops in the area, if I were you I'd personally be buddy buddy with any big tough guys on my street who I could call and have come over (who know your situation already, you may just have some big scary biker 2 doors down who's sympathetic - almost any guy will be sympathetic to a woman who is in your situation, and would love a chance at a guy who'd hurt a woman)
 
To be honest, this is the only place I've really been open about this. It's not just something you tell everyone you meet.:\

I understand America is a ''big fucking country'', but it's really easy to find someone if you look. As far as the GPS thing, I don't know if they do it or not. He's being paroled in WV and I now live in OH, but it's just a matter of crossing the state line. :\

I can't believe the law doesn't do more to help protect violent crime survivors in situations like this.

I am going to go to the local police department and see what they advise I do. I'm not even sure if I can get a restraining order here or if I'd have to get it in WV and how all that works being in two different states. When it initially happened and I got the restraining order there was a time limit on them.

Thanks for the replies.
 
Is he the kind of person who woudl have the knowledge and drive to find you? If not, then a restraining order may not be the best option, as he may be able to find about your location through your filing of that. And, if the situation is as I understand, he won't really care much about your restraining order.

I'd just advise finding 2 people, at least, in my street/neighborhood who could be there in a second to help you. Keep mace on your keychain. That's about all I could recommend to you online lol, but in real life i'd probably be recommending a little more of a 'proactive' approach. Take that for what it's worth.
 
QuestionEverything said:
I have two children, and I'm not skilled with any sort of firearms, so that's not really an option I'm considering. I'm hoping this scumbag will leave me alone, but he's told everyone he's come in contact with (including the parole board) that he can't wait to find me.

For the same reasons as above, I don't want a pitbull.

Can you even buy real mace or tasers legally? I thought it was illegal, but I don't really know, which is why I'm asking here.
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Pitbulls love kids, they're not mindless monsters. If you raise it as part of the family it would die to protect your two kids.

As far as the gun thing goes....kids can be gun-proofed. You just have to teach them. Your lack of confidence in your ability could easily be rectified if you took steps to do so.

Guns used to scare the crap out of me till I learned about them...and now here I sit with a pistol on my thigh (I was recently the victim of a targeted break in...the theif didnt get what they wanted so I'm worried they'll come back).

A pitbull would be great, a gun would be great, a taser would be marginal and pepper spray is even lower down on the list. They're all effective. Personally I'd trust my life to a good pistol before I'd trust it to a gadget and a can of seasoning.
 
I would not get a gun unless you are able to kill someone with it. If you just stand there hesitating, you'll just get it taken from you and get yourself shot.

A shotgun is good for home defense. First, you don't have to be very skilled at all in handling it (do practice - but you don't have to be able to hit smaller targets like with a typical gun). With a handgun or rifle, you need to be able to aim and shoot with at least some accuracy. You can't fire wildly and expect to hit someone. With a shotgun, you can just aim as best you can and you will spray them with shot. It will stop in the walls for the most part, so you are a lot less likely to shoot someone in another room or walking down the street, etc.

You may not be able to legally posses a pitbull depending on where you are, and if it hurts the UPS guy because you didn't train it properly you are fucked. I've seen plenty that were great with kids, etc, but like any dog they need to be trained (toy breeds will still attack people) and you cannot be lax about it.

Pepper spray is a good thing to have, IMO. But you can't go using it inside your house and you have to be able to use it properly. A lot of sprays on the market are shit - get a decent one like something from Fox Labs.
 
have you changed your last name since then? at least make sure you're not listed in public directories etc.

are the kids his? def keep an eye on them. if OZ has taught me anything...
 
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Hate to say it, but the law will do dick-all for you. A piece of paper won't keep him from busting down your door. Laws don't mean anything to people who don't follow them.

Get a security system on your house, take self-defense classes, and go learn how to use a gun. None of those things are hard, and they are all very empowering. I'm a pretty tiny girl, and I can handle a gun just fine. I don't have one, but I don't need one. I'll buy one if I ever feel the need to.

You should definitely also buy some mace and keep it on your keychain. As someone else mentioned, make sure to buy a legitimate brand with documentation. If you can, buy "triple action" spray, which contains tear gas (CS) as well. As far as I know, Ohio does not have any laws against it, but my state restricts pepper spray to containers of 15-60 grams of 10% active ingredient without dyes or CN/CS, so you should check local laws.
 
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