Ridethecircuswheel
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2011
- Messages
- 74
Hello bluelight,
I want to start this by apologizing that this thread is about loperamide... BUT! seriously i've read every post on every forum about it and can never find the answer. And I dont know if i mesed up with my posts but it seems bluelight deletes all my threads about immodium (loperamide)
Ok to make it short I was on heroin for 2 years, then suboxone, then loperamide. I began with usually around 80-100 mg (40 pills) loperamide and it would guarantee 8 hours of sleep each night, zero restless legs, and no cold/hot chills. The only thing was mentally it kept me irritable. I continued this for months and always felt guilty about it even though it costs 5 bucks a week. I dont think i should have been so hard on myself because to jump from heroin to loperamide is actually quite a leap because loperamide doesnt make me high and i don't want it to. I felt like I was living sober but with a crutch that nobody knew about. I felt sober... but I knew as soon as i ran out of lope my body would start aching my nose would run and I wouldn't sleep.
3 weeks ago I moved and decided to taper extremely fast off loperamide. Some people take this many mg's a week and slowly go down but I had no time for that. I wanted to be able to wake up and depend on the chemicals my own brain produced to get me through the day. I started lifting weights and on the first day I took 44 mg (22 pills) and dropped 2 pills a day. THIS is how it went. I would pretty much feel fine in the daytime except being out of energy but as soon as I tried to sleep I would shift and change positions kicking my legs in a fury every 5-10 seconds. This would last hours until I fell asleep. I would then sleep 3 hours and wake up fine again. Weird right? well i continued tapering and stayed at 8 pills for while and eventually got down to 4. I'm proud of myself for getting down to just 4 immodium and one of my questions is... do you think 8mg (4 pills) loperamide even does anything anymore? I feel like it definately doesn't cross the blood brain barrier. I feel like i'm taking 4 every day just to be precautious because i know that i will withdrawal without them but i almost wonder if its mental because i know i didnt take them. If anyone has ever gotten down this low on the immodium can you tell me your experience? The coward in me keeps telling me to just take 4 every day for the rest of my life but i don't think that's very healthy. I just can't picture my brain without some sort of opiate crutch.
it DEFINATELY feels like for the first time i'm out of the woods of opiate addiction. why? well because I feel like every day is long, slow, and nothing really makes me happy. definately sounds like PAWS to me. I'm not sure when this will pass, when will it? I took 4 earlier and my knee joints are aching but not like full or even day 5 withdrawal kind of pain. I've never gone through PAWS before. Another question is.. i feel like taking 4 is keeping me in AND out of withdrawal.. like my brain is getting ready to be opiate free but then its like.. "dude why do you keep feeding me this small amount of opiates? whatever F you heres some restless legs, enjoy"
I'm not really sure. I really want some answers or some empathy here. Do you think I should stay at 4 for awhile? if i get stuck in a blizzard with no loperamide how bad will it hurt and for how long???
I want to start this by apologizing that this thread is about loperamide... BUT! seriously i've read every post on every forum about it and can never find the answer. And I dont know if i mesed up with my posts but it seems bluelight deletes all my threads about immodium (loperamide)
Ok to make it short I was on heroin for 2 years, then suboxone, then loperamide. I began with usually around 80-100 mg (40 pills) loperamide and it would guarantee 8 hours of sleep each night, zero restless legs, and no cold/hot chills. The only thing was mentally it kept me irritable. I continued this for months and always felt guilty about it even though it costs 5 bucks a week. I dont think i should have been so hard on myself because to jump from heroin to loperamide is actually quite a leap because loperamide doesnt make me high and i don't want it to. I felt like I was living sober but with a crutch that nobody knew about. I felt sober... but I knew as soon as i ran out of lope my body would start aching my nose would run and I wouldn't sleep.
3 weeks ago I moved and decided to taper extremely fast off loperamide. Some people take this many mg's a week and slowly go down but I had no time for that. I wanted to be able to wake up and depend on the chemicals my own brain produced to get me through the day. I started lifting weights and on the first day I took 44 mg (22 pills) and dropped 2 pills a day. THIS is how it went. I would pretty much feel fine in the daytime except being out of energy but as soon as I tried to sleep I would shift and change positions kicking my legs in a fury every 5-10 seconds. This would last hours until I fell asleep. I would then sleep 3 hours and wake up fine again. Weird right? well i continued tapering and stayed at 8 pills for while and eventually got down to 4. I'm proud of myself for getting down to just 4 immodium and one of my questions is... do you think 8mg (4 pills) loperamide even does anything anymore? I feel like it definately doesn't cross the blood brain barrier. I feel like i'm taking 4 every day just to be precautious because i know that i will withdrawal without them but i almost wonder if its mental because i know i didnt take them. If anyone has ever gotten down this low on the immodium can you tell me your experience? The coward in me keeps telling me to just take 4 every day for the rest of my life but i don't think that's very healthy. I just can't picture my brain without some sort of opiate crutch.
it DEFINATELY feels like for the first time i'm out of the woods of opiate addiction. why? well because I feel like every day is long, slow, and nothing really makes me happy. definately sounds like PAWS to me. I'm not sure when this will pass, when will it? I took 4 earlier and my knee joints are aching but not like full or even day 5 withdrawal kind of pain. I've never gone through PAWS before. Another question is.. i feel like taking 4 is keeping me in AND out of withdrawal.. like my brain is getting ready to be opiate free but then its like.. "dude why do you keep feeding me this small amount of opiates? whatever F you heres some restless legs, enjoy"
I'm not really sure. I really want some answers or some empathy here. Do you think I should stay at 4 for awhile? if i get stuck in a blizzard with no loperamide how bad will it hurt and for how long???
and restless and depressed is kind of what i've been feeling and im sure it will remain that way if i stopped entirely. Thankfully i'm keeping busy and have zero drug connections since I moved so those two things are keeping me sober. I really feel like i'm in the beginning stages of the final stage of the part of my life i spent using drugs, or atleast devil opiates. i've always said that its not so much that im accustom to getting high but more so accustom to feeling comfortable, and we all know once you're addicted to opiates you need them to feel comfortable, therefor loperamide has been a perfect crutch and probably within a week or two i'll be off entirely if i go down 1 mg every 3 days.