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What about the one that got away?

SmokingAces

SmokingAces

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 12, 2014
Messages
2,301
The one that broke you down. Everyone has at least one. I have one very bad one, was 3 years ago now but we were on and off. Hadn't seen her in a while then I saw her in the car park of a local beauty spot the other day, personalized numberplate just so I could be sure as my mind was frying "was that definitely her or am I seeing things", nope SJ on the plates. It's been fucking with my head again all over since. We were seeing each other for a year months of which I was even living with her. Then one night we were drunk and I said some things I shouldnt have. We had a massive argument, infront of others. I left, with another girl (I was pissed uo) who I later stupidly wound up kissing, we never fucked - she told her. And voila, your life is ruined. I spent 6 months in the pub.

Anyone got a more interesting tale?
 
I had one in high school, age 14-15. I managed to blow it by completely overlooking her signals for physical advancement.
I hadn't even worked up the courage to kiss her.. She ended up dumping me for someone more outgoing (he was a complete asshole to her)
I spent like a year obsessing over her, begging for another chance. It nearly ruined the friendship. I got friend-zoned pretty hard.

Eventually I stopped constantly thinking that maybe I had a chance, but I guess I never stopped thinking that it wasn't fair. I always considered her to be the one that got away. Or rather, the opportunity I let slip through my weak little fingers.
I never really stopped thinking for years what it might have been like had I just kissed her that one night on our date.


When I was 17 I made the decision to move across the country. She came to visit me to say goodbye. Well.. I chose that moment to kiss her. She let me, it was amazing. My very first kiss was my first kiss good-bye. (Yes, I still had not kissed a girl yet. Sad I know.)
I recently found out (7 years later) from her that she regretted not being with me and that she considered me to be the one that got away..

=/
 
Well there was this Chinese girl in my class. I used to give her candy, even though it was usually my only or last Reese's and I fucking loved Reese's. We never really talked, but I knew she liked me and I thought she was adorable.

Some time during the school year, we put on a musical - as was the school norm; no one was allowed to skip out on these "events" whether they were tone deaf or not! So at this point in my life I'm kinda just used to the whole thing. Go with the class, practice the stage choreography, dance and sing. And Chun (the Chinese girl) all of a sudden goes further up the line, while we're waiting to go on stage to rehearse, and she whispers something to my friend Marquis. Next thing I know, my dancing partner is dancing with him and Chun grabs me by the hands when the dance routine is going on and swings me around so hard, as we dance in circles and hold hands. I loved how she played that little game with me and she used all her strength too, kind of signalling to me that she really liked me.

But a few months later I'm on the playground and my friend, Sean, starts like, shit-talking her, saying all these rude things to her. Next thing I know, I'm in line to go to class and one of Chun's friends comes up the line and says, "Bob, Chun hates you."
Being a kid, the first thing that came out of my mouth was, "Good."

She hated me from that point on and always tried to make me jealous by talking about all the guys she wanted to have sex with - while I was within earshot... and this was 5th grade! But I often think about her and what I could have done differently if I had had the mentality of a 25 year old instead of a 9-10 year old.
 
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iridescentblack said:
Well there was this Chinese girl in my class. I used to give her candy, even though it was usually my only or last Reese's and I fucking loved Reese's. We never really talked, but I knew she liked me and I thought she was adorable.

Some time during the school year, we put on a musical - as was the school norm; no one was allowed to skip out on these "events" whether they were tone deaf or not! So at this point in my life I'm kinda just used to the whole thing. Go with the class, practice the stage choreography, dance and sing. And Linzi (the Chinese girl) all of a sudden goes further up the line, while we're waiting to go on stage to rehearse, and she whispers something to my friend Marquis. Next thing I know, my dancing partner is dancing with him and Linzi grabs me by the hands when the dance routine is going on and swings me around so hard, as we dance in circles and hold hands. I loved how she played that little game with me and she used all her strength too, kind of signalling to me that she really liked me.

But a few months later I'm on the playground and my friend, Shawn, starts like, shit-talking her, saying all these rude things to her. Next thing I know, I'm in line to go to class and one of Linzi's friends comes up the line and says, "Ian, Linzi hates you."
Being a kid, the first thing that came out of my mouth was, "Good."

She hated me from that point on and always tried to make me jealous by talking about all the guys she wanted to have sex with... and this was 5th grade! But I often think about her and what I could have done differently if I had had the mentality of a 25 year old instead of a 9-10 year old.
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Sometimes You don't get to realize how precious a moment is until it becomes a memory.
I don't think your story is silly
 
It's strange almost that happened so young IDC. don't think I ever felt that way for someone til I was about 13, and nothing so serious until the one I mention, nothing as serious since.
 
Sidnafilisevil said:
It's strange almost that happened so young IDC. don't think I ever felt that way for someone til I was about 13, and nothing so serious until the one I mention, nothing as serious since.
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I guess it just hurt me more as I got older... Not just the way it ended, but since she and I were so young we didn't really get a chance to explore each other as much (especially socially).
 
ahhhhh....i adored this girl, she pushed all the right buttons for me, everything she said was is some way amusing. she resisted my advances for so long because i was a bit of a man-whore and loved to party and take drugs, but eventually i wore her down with romantic gestures and charm and persistence i'd never thought i had in me.
about 6 months into the relationship i got quite badly addicted to benzos and opiates. it lasted another year and a half of her trying everything to help me but i blew it. she's even a drug councillor now which is because of me. we have no contact anymore and she's moved on etc.

fuck drugs. then again we only met because i did a lot of drugs with a friend of hers so i suppose i wouldn't have the beautiful memories entangled with heartache that'll be with me for life (it's been over 5 years since we split).
 
ChipTrippyFox said:
I had one in high school, age 14-15. I managed to blow it by completely overlooking her signals for physical advancement.
I hadn't even worked up the courage to kiss her.. She ended up dumping me for someone more outgoing (he was a complete asshole to her)
I spent like a year obsessing over her, begging for another chance. It nearly ruined the friendship. I got friend-zoned pretty hard.

Eventually I stopped constantly thinking that maybe I had a chance, but I guess I never stopped thinking that it wasn't fair. I always considered her to be the one that got away. Or rather, the opportunity I let slip through my weak little fingers.
I never really stopped thinking for years what it might have been like had I just kissed her that one night on our date.


When I was 17 I made the decision to move across the country. She came to visit me to say goodbye. Well.. I chose that moment to kiss her. She let me, it was amazing. My very first kiss was my first kiss good-bye. (Yes, I still had not kissed a girl yet. Sad I know.)
I recently found out (7 years later) from her that she regretted not being with me and that she considered me to be the one that got away..

=/
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Awww, *heart melt* I loved your story.

It's never too late...
 
Eh, my heart aches with nostalgia thinking about this :)
I had come out of a pretty destructive relationship and was having a pretty dark moment in my mid-twenties. I had a profile on OkCupid and noticed a girl who was more or less local. The profile portrayed a girl that ticked off all of my boxes and then some. Beautiful, classy and intelligent. That combination makes my legs all wobbly.
I contacted her and although she responded, I don't remember any connection. I have to admit, I kind of stalked her profile at that point. Ahem. I tried to comfort myself that dating sites tend to offer a overly glorified perspective anyway.

Some time later. Through circumstances that I still don't quite understand, I was introduced to a group of people that were into table-top gaming, LARP'ing, you know, the hardcore geeky stuff. I kind of rolled into that group and started hanging out more often. I was still adjusting into having a better life. My days were becoming a bit brighter. We used to have this place where we met, a pub that also served as a meeting place for table-top gamers and had board games and LARP stuff and whatnot.
Lo and behold, one night, she walked through the door. I was absolutely, totally, completely gobsmacked. The only time I experienced something similar, was when I go struck by a bamboo sword point at Kendo practice. Both the shock of actually seeing her, but also seeing that she was even lovelier than any picture could do her justice, just rippled through me.
Stupid and insecure as I was, I hid behind a rack of foam swords :) I couldn't stay there forever, so when I made my presence known, I kind of froze up and developed a sudden, yet intricate fascination for my shoes and decided to give them my full attention.

We ended up doing some roleplaying session with other friends and I remember those nights fondly. It was fun. She proved to be as witty and intelligent as she was beautiful. She had that radiance, you know? Beautiful, long brown hair that flowed off of her shoulders, sharp brown eyes, graceful, body like a greek godess. She read the books that I read, she liked the same humor and I liked, she was quite funny herself and had a wonderful imagination. I continued to sit on my ass. I hated myself for it, feeling like a loser.

Things happened that caused a rift between her and the network of friends we were in. She moved away and we lost touch. I still have her around in my online network and she hasn't had the easiest life for herself. I don't think I ever had or would've had a chance with her, but she'll remain the one that got away.
 
smackydowners said:
ahhhhh....i adored this girl, she pushed all the right buttons for me, everything she said was is some way amusing. she resisted my advances for so long because i was a bit of a man-whore and loved to party and take drugs, but eventually i wore her down with romantic gestures and charm and persistence i'd never thought i had in me.
about 6 months into the relationship i got quite badly addicted to benzos and opiates. it lasted another year and a half of her trying everything to help me but i blew it. she's even a drug councillor now which is because of me. we have no contact anymore and she's moved on etc.

fuck drugs. then again we only met because i did a lot of drugs with a friend of hers so i suppose i wouldn't have the beautiful memories entangled with heartache that'll be with me for life (it's been over 5 years since we split).
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There's a lesson to be learnt with all the mistakes though mate. You managed to keep that up whilst fucked on drugs for how long?

Just think how much better at it all you'd be without the drugs that are problematic to you...
 
Being a recovering IV speedballer and benzo head you'd think I'd have a long list of regrets. But all I can think about is how it wouldn't have gone so bad had I not been a fool... Had some balls and stayed with her.
 
Pretty_Diamonds said:
Awww, *heart melt* I loved your story.

It's never too late...
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I'm pretty sure at this point it is too late :c
She has a man, she speaks pretty highly of him and she is still across the country from me.

Would I jump on it if she asked me to be with her? I'm not sure. Maybe...
 
I met mine when I was 18, she was 16. We spent 8 years together, breaking up for good about a year ago. She wasn't a good girlfriend toward the end, had problems with drugs, and I know the best thing in life is to be away from her, but we were still off and on hooking up. In that 8 years, we never went more than a day not talking to each other. We used drugs together and frequently would spend weeks together never getting sick of each other. She was my soulmate, and literally my other half. Days have slowly turned into weeks now, and I just found out today actually that she has a new boyfriend. I'm devastated, and venting here because this post is about the one who got away, and I feel like it's her. I didn't think it would be so painful - it's like having your heart broken all over again. Her thing was that she wanted to be with someone that "didn't know everything about her." I broke up with her becauase things were awful, but I finally witnessed her growing up and changing and I wanted to make things work, but I was too late. It's a fucked up thing to think had we stayed together, would she never change, and me dumping her helped her? I'll never know.
 
That sounds rough man. But maybe you could still even get her back if it was 8 years. Or maybe it was best to move on.
 
I'm in a bad way today. It's days like these that really test sobriety. Almost 2 years sober from the opiates, but today is a test for sure.
 
Sidnafilisevil said:
There's a lesson to be learnt with all the mistakes though mate. You managed to keep that up whilst fucked on drugs for how long?

Just think how much better at it all you'd be without the drugs that are problematic to you...
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2 years, towards the end she was a weeping mess, usually in the car ride home to me worrying about what state id be in when she got home. thing is, i did it again to someone else, she was cool and we peobably had more in common, but again the lies and the general absence of personality fucked it. she was nuts though, really wild and with i suspect mental health issues. 3rd time lucky, eh.
 
I think when you yourself are already crazy (I'm talking about myself here but..) you tend to wind up attracting people who are also crazy. To me there is a fine line between "a bit of spark about her" and complete Nutjob 3 weeks down the line.

Do you think your still so foolish with the drugs now? Don't take that personally I've made the same mistakes myself being a self absorbed liability. It's the reason I can't do hard drugs anymore I had a moment of clarity and realised how much it all wasn't worth it. Just beer and weed for me now really but I've mended some bridges and don't hate myself anymore.
 
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