what about cravings? my mid-taper worries

[leiphos]

[tl,dr at bottom]
after almost 10 months of daily opiate use, I'm getting clean. at my worst (this spring) I was lying in bed all day every day, just nodding out and doing nothing; every time I dosed I was just so anxious to leave my miserable life for that numb dream-world, the place I go when I nod out, which I really only reached less than 50% of the time anyway, and which was one of the main things making my life so miserable in the first place.

I'm tapering now with poppy pods, since they have such a long half-life. I was using oxys, mscontins, vics, roxis, poppy tea, tramadol, occasionally heroin, and constantly marijuana - and at my worst I was also on various benzo combos every day, using temaz, xanax, ativan and klonopin. I'm still taking soma though, but only for pain. A lot of the reason I got into this mess was untreated chronic and acute back pain. But I'm realizing now that most of the pain was actually from opiate withdrawals, which I thought was just because the drugs wore off... I can't believe it, but now that my dose is much lower and I'm only on pods, I find that soma and tylenol (plus my maitenance dose) covers about 70% of the pain, which is simply amazing.

I'm down to 1.5 pods a day in two doses (one night, one morning), whereas a week and a half ago it would've taken 8 pods a day to get high, or 40-60mg oxy, or over 100mg morphine. And a ton of pot, all day every day, which I've stopped too as of the past 2 days, though for a week before that I was smoking only before bed, not all day. The last pot I bought was the California strain called Jack Herrer which is one of the most powerful strains I've ever smoked, and on it (and off) I realized that I had no short-term memory from the pot, and no motivation, and no ability to get anything done. Kinda depressing. So I quit that too.

Life on the taper right now is wonderful, and also confusing and a little difficult, but I can't wait to get off completely. At the same time, I wonder if a month or two down the line the memory of that serene dream-world, the
"land of nod", will bother me constantly - and will make me relapse. Especially the thought that when I'm clean, my tolerance is back to zero, meaning the potential for those fresh highs.

Anyone have advice on avoiding the cravings, other than just being busy? I have a lot of shit to be busy with, but without drugs, especially without strong sativas like Sour Diesel or Silver Haze, I have trouble doing anything but lying in bed...and until now, taking opiates in bed - and everywhere else.

Thanks for any advice, thoughts, or just comforting words. It would mean a lot.

PS:
I've been considering going on low-end theripudic doses of phenazepam or klonopin as needed for cravings. I'm also on the mood-stabilizer Lamictal, thank god; it really keeps my depression in check - and when winter comes, I won't need opiates to hold off mania. What do you guys think of occasional benzo use for the cravings?

tl,dr
getting clean from opiates by tapering, and wondering how to deal with cravings besides just being busy. thanks!

 

[ichosewisely]

^^
First of all, good on you to decide to quit. I've now been off of opiates for 51 days, and as far as avoiding cravings....well I haven't done too well on that one, but as you said yourself keeping busy is important although it seems impossible at times. I've found the most efficient way for me to stay on track and not get diluted by cravings is to find something that inspires you to stay sober, whatever that may be will obviously vary from person to person. For me it's this experience report http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=10753 There's something about it that snaps me back to reality in some way.

Not to scare you or anything lol, but when I quit (that is when the worst withdrawal had subsided) Life was wonderful, just like you described, but I in a matter of a week or so, the cravings and depression set in. And I somehow didn't expect this because I had been doing so well, I was basically sick of how I had been living before (high as a kite all day, nodding in bed, waking up sick etc) and I thought that I was just too glad it was over to crave or feel depressed. Just a heads up there.

About the benzos, if you feel that they work and you can use them without growing dependant, then I don't see why not.
Well that's all I can think of right now,
I hope you do well and wish you the best.

 

[QuasiStoned]

Life on the taper right now is wonderful, and also confusing and a little difficult, but I can't wait to get off completely. At the same time, I wonder if a month or two down the line the memory of that serene dream-world, the
"land of nod", will bother me constantly - and will make me relapse. Especially the thought that when I'm clean, my tolerance is back to zero, meaning the potential for those fresh highs.

I think some cravings are inevitable and you really just have to try and push them away as rationally as possible. I was hooked on poppy tea for 2 years and have been clean about 30 days, I have had some cravings but it was worst in the beginning than it is now.

I try not to think about how my tolerance has lowered. My parents caught on to my use of poppy tea and would be pissed off if I brought that shit back into the house again so that's a big deterrent. It would be hard to hide using it and luckily I don't have any pill hookups or anything.

 

[unsettled]

I may not be the best person to give advice considering I'm still dependent on approximately two pods a day, but I'd say just find something that you are really passionate about and get completely involved with it.

I love nodding off every now and then for a couple hours but there are too many things that I love to do to spend the majority of my time that high. I think when you find things that really interest you laying around high all day isn't as appealing. That's just me though, I guess you're best bet is to stay busy and heed the advice of those who have successfully stayed off of opiates. You can do it as long as you're determined, I've done it before but inevitably came back to opiates.

 

[adder]

If you've been getting those pods from one source all the time, it's just a matter of time when you taper down to nothing. Pods' power vary, it depends if you get everything from it etc. I never drank poppy tea or parachuted pods or whatever way you take it. I only smoked opium and injected (maybe once I drank it but I don't know if it was the same). Effects from ingesting pods in whatever form orally is always going to provide a longer high. You might not be in such a terrible situation as you think. Actually most of withdrawal is psychological so positive thinking and organizing your time helps you forget how 'bad' you're feeling (now I mean cold turkey withdrawal).

From what you write you're not addicted to benzodiazepines if you can just take carisoprodol. Anyway keep in mind it potentates opioid action.

If you mean by cravings a feeling when you're already clean, then the answer is simple. Yes, you will experience physical discomfort for a few days after stopping. You will experience psychological urge to get high for even longer. But this can be compared to a wave. It comes and goes away, the trick is to not let it go when a wave comes. I don't think there's any better piece of advice. The general is just simply do whatever to keep your mind focused on something else. And if you've got problems with that now, it's a good moment to think about therapy. Depression after drug usage is often long-lasting.

 

[leiphos]

I kind of plan on using now and then once I get clean. The thought of stopping forever freaks me out and makes quitting seem an impossible task.

Does anyone have experience with using responsibly after getting clean from opiates?

 

[Bojangles69]

Yes I've used responsibly before but when doses stop getting you high it can sometimes be too depressing to actually reverse your dosage and I always wind up increasing and going back to normal use.

I have made it before for like 9 months using w/out actually being addicted but tbo its just too much stress and bs always trying to control your thoughts so you don't use too much.

I have a mass poppy tapering thread feel free to hijack it and make it yours if you'd like. I like to see as many tapering poppy addicts in there as I can. It really helps us all when we're all together in one place getting feedback from each other. My taper off pods has been going on over a month now and I prob have another 2-3 weeks before I can "painlessly" transfer off the beast.

I will definitely say once you get through 1-2 weeks of tapering you lose the need to wanna get high and it becomes SO EASY only taking enough to get through the day. As long as the doses gradually decline thats the only real magic you need to do. People are always messing up too and going right back to their tapers so consider it part of the process. I just refused to relapse once during my whole taper because I guess I've just convinced myself enough its really never worth it.

Whatever the case keep posting and letting us know how you're doing! I've been annoying people on this forum for over a month with updates and noone seems to really mind it lol.. yet at least.

 

[adder]

I don't think something like 'responsible opioid use' exists at all no matter if one's on his/her way to full addiction or if one relapses (it's not opening of some discussion, there's no point for me in it). It also doesn't matter what one takes. I actually only got mad withdrawal, I literally went paranoid after a few months of intravenous usage, mainly morphine. I had one month of a break but then it all came back suddenly I couldn't even think what I'm doing. Yeah, it sounds ridiculous. I never managed to take a break after zeroing myself with methadone and I could never zero myself with buprenorphine (at 6mg s.l. I was already mildly withdrawing and it would continue despite waiting).

All in all, I show this bitch a finger. I exchange her w/d nightmare for hospital nightmare (I've hated being in hospitals since I remember, I would have been on methadone for 2 years now if I hadn't left hospital) and 'legalize' my substitution as soon as possible. I've been on methadone for 6 months now, earlier I tried to zero myself with buprenorphine, I had been on it for 3 months, that's it for me. I hope I will be able to write here in a few weeks stating I finally got my second chance for free (everyone deserves that paying taxes and insurance). Plus I've got problems with my university (I need to get some papers there, some may be brought by someone authorized by me but then I have to bring routing medical examination. God help me so I manage to do everything in time.

It's always this way that your ride ends. Mine ended long time ago. I've got a lot of memories from that ride. I got to know the taste of the most true love, the sourness of losing the closest one... I did so many things and morphine (as a general drug, I mean, there were many but it was 'the queen') was with me. Yes, she always helped, healed wounds nobody could, too bad scars hurt even more after. She was always there to take me away from this mad world I've hated for so many reasons. I could worship her as much as I could curse her. But yeah, those times are to be remembered. If anyone wants to live his ride to extents, alright. I don't preach anymore.

Take care!