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Harm Reduction We need some kinda type accountability help thread somewhere?

ChemicallyEnhanced

ChemicallyEnhanced

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Joined
Apr 29, 2018
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I posted somewhere 8 days ago on here about "I have enough opioids to be comfortable for 5 days followed by severe withdrawal for 5 days OR moderate withdrawal for 10 days" asking which is worse?
Um, yeah, those opioids lasted me 2 days...I then blagged my way to a small amount (28 x 10mg morphine IR pills) more...which lasted 3 days.
I was SO RELIEVED getting those morphine extras I promised myself I was gonna make 'em last...but I slept like 16 hours so woke up in WD and (totally separately TO that) also had an anxiety attack shortly after waking up and ended up taking like 14 of those pills in 10ish hours.
So ran out STILL like 5 days early.
So I then [yeah, yeah, I'm an asshole, wasting valuable NHS resources] malingered having Cauda Equina* which I spent 2 days in hospital for on IV morphine every 4 hours (wooooop). But an MRI ruled CES out. Been at home like 36 hours now in HORRENDOUS withdrawal and just managed to get my doctor to prescribe me a bottle or Oramorph (liquid oral morphine) until I get my regular opioids Fri morning.

I need to REMEMBER the hell of this week and extremes I went to and just MAKE MY MEDS LAST. Why do we forget the hell of WD for the temptation of a high as soon as we're no longer sick?

*I DO have two herniated discs plus sciatica-like pain and weakness in both legs that has gotten rapidly worse recently AND (Yeah I'm fucking nasty) bowel incontinence** so I wasn't full-on malingering as much as exaggerating and deliberately manipulating the presentation of systems to make sure Cauda Equina was their assumption [which if you don't know is a surgical emergency]

**turns out to just be that I now I have ZERO pancreas function so just need Pancreatic Enzyme Replacement to fix that
 
EDIT: although, when IN hospital I requested a sleeping pill...and it can take forever for a doctor to prescribe that shit..so I waited...and waited...and waited...and woke up to a nurse shaking me, saying my name saying "Hey, the doctor prescribed you a Zopiclone...[my name]....[my name]...do you wanna wake up and take your sleeping pill?"
I love a z-drug as much as the next guy but I was like...bitch, is you okay? You really gonna WAKE ME UP to give me a SLEEPING PILL??? Surely, some sort of logic would dicate to leave me alone is I was ASLEEP. Maybe that was a hint NO, I didn't want or need it?

(yes, I still took it!)
 
I understand what it feels like now being and going through withdrawal.

When I want to use my favorite kind of drugs now I am careful but I also think about consequences now that I did not think of in the past.

Do I want to go through health and complications or feel better than not causing more pain to myself.

What I do is to remember how withdrawals feel and I think about if it is really worth it to go through something like that again.

Or try to find some type of deterrent and is how I do try to handle things now.

Because it is no fun to suffer and I feel real bad for anyone that has to.

Try to think about how it feels, how it really feels, how it felt, and everything that you will be going through.

It is better to be careful and think it through before going through any more suffering at all. Make that best and healthiest choice

no matter how difficult it seems, that can be absolutely different than the alternative.

Make the best decision that will be the healthiest and to feel the best that you can.

Life isn't easy at times and we have to do the best that we can to get through it all and be and stay as healthy as possible.

Try to cut back at least and think about doing everything you can to live and stay healthy because it will definitely feel better

than going through addiction and especially withdrawals from decisions of not staying away from too much, that is completely

not a good habit. You have the choices of not having to feel that horrible again because when you think about how bad it actually

is than you just shouldn't do it. Remember what it feels like so that you don't have to do it all over again.

Please don't do that to yourself. You are too nice to go through anymore than you don't have to. Okay.

<3
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
Jeezus! I really don't know what to say here mate, other than you've done brilliantly to get this far.

Roll on Friday eh?

<3
Click to expand...

Haha, thanks!
I've already asked me dad to hold on to half my morphine on Friday (so I can a weeks worth, then another weeks worth rather than 14 days at once) 'cause I REALLY wanna make it last this time. I can't go through all this again,
 
kiely said:
I understand what it feels like now being and going through withdrawal.

When I want to use my favorite kind of drugs now I am careful but I also think about consequences now that I did not think of in the past.

Do I want to go through health and complications or feel better than not causing more pain to myself.

What I do is to remember how withdrawals feel and I think about if it is really worth it to go through something like that again.

Or try to find some type of deterrent and is how I do try to handle things now.

Because it is no fun to suffer and I feel real bad for anyone that has to.

Try to think about how it feels, how it really feels, how it felt, and everything that you will be going through.

It is better to be careful and think it through before going through any more suffering at all. Make that best and healthiest choice

no matter how difficult it seems, that can be absolutely different than the alternative.

Make the best decision that will be the healthiest and to feel the best that you can.

Life isn't easy at times and we have to do the best that we can to get through it all and be and stay as healthy as possible.

Try to cut back at least and think about doing everything you can to live and stay healthy because it will definitely feel better

than going through addiction and especially withdrawals from decisions of not staying away from too much, that is completely

not a good habit. You have the choices of not having to feel that horrible again because when you think about how bad it actually

is than you just shouldn't do it. Remember what it feels like so that you don't have to do it all over again.

Please don't do that to yourself. You are too nice to go through anymore than you don't have to. Okay.

<3
Click to expand...

Thanks so much ❤️
I was also so happy to get my morphine dose more than double a few months ago I neglected to realize that the WITHDRAWAL would be proportionally worse, too. Definitely gonna make it last this time.
 
ChemicallyEnhanced said:
Thanks so much ❤️
I was also so happy to get my morphine dose more than double a few months ago I neglected to realize that the WITHDRAWAL would be proportionally worse, too. Definitely gonna make it last this time.
Click to expand...
Oh I am so very happy for you.

And so good again to hear your voice !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


That's the bomb. 💣


Sorry .... just so glad to hear !!!

☀️

🔥
 
I should have said ' that's the spirit.' You're good. 💗

edit : 👍
 
Last edited:
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