Opioids Want to get back on Methadone, Currently on Suboxone

[BillyTeton]

Hi, please read my other post (or threads, whatever) before reading this. Im a young kid, and new at drugs (well kinda) so I would like a lot of help from Bluelight members. I hear they area really great with help.
So hear me out, Just a couple of months ago I was taking 30 mg of Hydrocodone every 4 hours for 6 years of my life. I prayed to God to help me. Then, I found a place that would take me in Idaho Falls (I live in Blackfoot ID, FYI.) and I was relieved. I was looking to take Suboxone because I had used Methadone in the past (for like 2 weeks) to try and help me with withdrawals, it didnt because I ran out before everything was out of my system. Also, Methadone gave me a high, a euphoria high. I LOVED it. But, like I said, I didnt want to get high anymore. I hated drugs. So I thought that by going after a Methadone script, I would just get addicted to Methadone since I could get high. Suboxone gives me a pleasant feeling, but not full on euphoria. But something is different with me now. I just NOW have really bad anxiety. Like I will start to sweat and get chills and be uncomfortable until I take another suboxone. I have been on Subs for maybe 3 months now. (Since the week before Thanksgiving 2014, thats when I began). I dont think Im addicted, I think Im still looking for that 'high'. I feel so ashamed of myself for wanting to get off drugs, but now Im looking everywhere for a high. I even seeked out xanax to get me a high, though it doesnt give me a euphoria high, just a relaxed state.
I decided to go back to Methadone. Im going to find a clinic nearest me, which is extremely hard since, like I said, I live in Blackfoot Idaho. and the two nearest methadone clinics near me is in Meridian ID and Logan UT. I have a couple of questions; if i go there, how much will it cost me? and will I even be able to get Methadone (legit). I really want to quit drugs, but the battle is hard. I cant find Methadone out on the street either. Can you guys (and gals) please help me here? I feel like my life is so hard right now (even though it really isnt). Please and thanks in advance.

 

[AgonyAndEcstasy781]

I know how hard it can be, no need to feel ashamed, but I strongly advise against starting methadone maintenance. If you think hydrocodone is hard to kick, try methadone. I was going to the methadone clinic for years and it kept me from shooting dope but it was a hell of a habit itself. I also really didn't like it's effects on my personality and especially my motivation.

Suboxone won't give you euphoria once you adjust your dose, but will keep the withdrawal symptoms at bay while you address the issues that are contributing to your addiction. It's great for detox and taoering but it's no miracle drug and the fact that it doesn't cause euphoria is part of ehat makes it great. It gives you stability which is crucial for recovery.

I'm not minimizing your habit, but I think methadone is better for chronic pain patients or people who are using heroin or stronger opiates. People with years of heavy opiate use and keep relapsing. If you really want to stop using drugs, I'd stick with the Suboxone and begin to taper off once you're stable. At least give that a shot before heading to the clinic, the clinuc really becomes its own lifestyle and can suck you right in, having to get there every day and follow all their little rules. You can't even go anywhere without asking them permission for carries, which they will often refuse. You have to schedule your whole life around their hours and policies and you're crippled without your methadone.

Plus, after a while you won't feel the methadone either. I know how hard it is man, you can do it though. You're still at a point in your addiction where you can do something about it and pull through. The longer you keep putting it or chasing a buzz the harder it will get, and the more consequences and obstacles you will be facing. And be extremely careful mixing benzos with opiates, easy way to overdose.

 

[szuko000]

That is a very tough spot to be in. As stated previous methadone is no joke and it is as serious an addiction as recreational opiates it is just legal and not anywhere near as fun. It is wonderful for hardcore junkies with serious addictions, those whose addiction has seriously changed their lives/though process to the point where opiates are the only thing they live for. It saves a lot of people and gives them if nothing more a glimpse at what a life without having to worry about getting high can be like. Not everyone will make a full switch or be saved by it but at the very least it does give everyone a chance to see what life can be like without a fear of intense withdrawals.

In your situation I would stick with the subs if i honestly could not go cold turkey. My main reason for saying that is your location, you will be required to get to the clinic every day. That can be hard when it is 25 miles away let alone what you are looking at, you would spend a large chunk of the day going to the clinic. Which if you were a hardcore junkie could still be a great change but i just dont see you at that point. I would stick with the subs if you can see if you have the will power to deal with them