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TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android
I've been watching this thread but I didn't really know what to say that everyone hasn't said already. Please don't
. Pammy you're not a waste! I'm sure there are people the care about you, and I'm sure there will be more! Please don't kill yourself. I think about killing myself, but then I just think about when I've seen my parents cry before and it make me sick to my stomach. I think if I killed myself it's possible my mom might, we don't get along or have much of a relationship, but I have good reason to believe she's had suicide on her mind before. I think I might one day after they die, but I have other family, I don't know it's pretty rough sometimes. I feel I'm in a similar mindset most of the time, but, sometimes I'm happy. I'll get that feeling I try to find doing drugs, or maybe someone makes me laugh, and I mean genuinely laugh (I've gotten good at pretending to be happy), and for that split second I have no worries. Doing physical work tends to calm my anxiety down a little, which kind of sucks because my back is pretty fucked up and I'm not supposed to , but I still do. You're not a waste pammy! PM if you want to talk/vent or anything. That goes for anyone, I could use someone to talk to as well, it will make you feel better . EddieG can you PM me? I'd like to know more about you and your plan.I wish I knew what to tell you, but I don't.
People don't typically associate me with profound and sagely wisdom, which is quite right: I've little to offer you, but you're just one man and whilst I appreciate you taking the time to alert me to your giving up on the competition between us males (for women, territory, food, money, a happy, successful future...) I can't help but wonder why you posted this and asked these questions.
After all, if you're intelligent enough to engineer a suicide where noone will be blamed for your death and the police will be able to assert with no doubt that you took your own life, and yet you also did it without, so you expect, causing yourself pain (I'll get to that in a moment) I commend you: the last thing a mother and father want after their daughter has died; the last thing your friends and lovers, former and current (though you're virginal and need to solve that problem, there are escort services - simple) and the last thing your workmates, colleagues or fellow students--your peers, basically--will want is to be considered suspects in your death!
Now, for the pain part. Imagine that you're you, but with parts of your brain dying due to you injecting so much Heroin as to cause an overdose, which may result in a lot of vomiting and nonsense, or you sinking into what appears to be a painless sleep, you'll still be conscious long enough to feel your lungs stop breathing and to feel the pain and bizarre sensations of expecting them to begin moving any moment, because anaerobic respiration causes loads of lactic acid to build up in your muscles and that's awful! Plus, you'll feel your throat slowly close about you and silence any voice you may have; no hand will move when you attempt to wave it because there's no oxygen in your body to allow it. You're going to suffer, potentially considerably.
When you trip because your mind is altered with chemicals, it's like looking at life through a different pair of glasses; hearing through a filter and so-on. But if you've ever seen that film, '2001: A Space Odyssey', when HAL's mind is being killed off? Well, I expect it's a lot like that: you'll lose higher functions and your brain will continue with thought even though your body will be unable to follow its commands to "move, move, move I beg of you!" and then your mind will fall away, and I expect you'll be left barely capable of understanding the fact that you're dying before you're dead.
Good luck with a note that includes all of the "How could I have done things differently to save you?" But, really, your post shows some concern for the living, even though you may deny it if you want: after all, leaving behind a note is akin to saying "I did this, I know that it was wrong and I'm attempting to justify it with this piece of paper."
Can you?
Think long and hard about it.
This is a place where we promote "harm reduction" and posting here, stating that you're going to die and it's impossible for anyone to stop you, is just cruel to the rest of us; we want to help you, so tell us how to help you and suicide may not even be necessary. Do you need love? Are you lonely? Would you like to be loved? Would you like to be made afraid of death? Of the two, if those are your only choices, you must be so VERY afraid of life, to turn to death...
If you succeed and die, well, good for you.
If you fail and become a vegetable barely able to communicate anything other than the fact that you now have lost control over your bladder and bowels, well, that's not going to be good at all.
Corpses, regardless of how they came to become corpses, never look good or "pretty".
I've escaped death so many times that I should be giving him High Fives when I pass, and death looms over me like a dark and foreboding shadow of one's inevitable demise, however, I escaped because I chose to survive. I want to meet you: someone with the cojones to come onto this board, proclaim that they're incapable of being found, and unable to be stopped, entirely anonymously; I would relish the opportunity to speak with you privately, for it fascinates me. Your hubris and desperation and pain and all of it--I just might fall for you...
Drop me a PM and I'll give you a decent and achievable list of things to do from now until you change your mind because life's actually more fun and worth more than just dying.
We're not wrong...
We've all lost someone dear and close and irreplaceable and yet we're telling you that we want to help; to understand; to love and cherish you as a real person, rather than discarding you like garbage. You're not garbage and you're important, perhaps even unique... especially with the size of your virtual balls. %)
Do send me a message.
If you've time, give me a massage before you go for it!
Really, you can't complain since you're "dead set" on doing it anyway!
So, let's all lament this and then close it because it's perverse.
It spits in the face of those who've died for us and because of us, and I cannot stand to see but one more die!
Take care of yourself.
-Kerrigan
PS: Since you're dying, I hope you won't mind me including what you've said in a story I'm writing?
People don't typically associate me with profound and sagely wisdom, which is quite right: I've little to offer you, but you're just one man and whilst I appreciate you taking the time to alert me to your giving up on the competition between us males (for women, territory, food, money, a happy, successful future...) I can't help but wonder why you posted this and asked these questions.
After all, if you're intelligent enough to engineer a suicide where noone will be blamed for your death and the police will be able to assert with no doubt that you took your own life, and yet you also did it without, so you expect, causing yourself pain (I'll get to that in a moment) I commend you: the last thing a mother and father want after their daughter has died; the last thing your friends and lovers, former and current (though you're virginal and need to solve that problem, there are escort services - simple) and the last thing your workmates, colleagues or fellow students--your peers, basically--will want is to be considered suspects in your death!
Now, for the pain part. Imagine that you're you, but with parts of your brain dying due to you injecting so much Heroin as to cause an overdose, which may result in a lot of vomiting and nonsense, or you sinking into what appears to be a painless sleep, you'll still be conscious long enough to feel your lungs stop breathing and to feel the pain and bizarre sensations of expecting them to begin moving any moment, because anaerobic respiration causes loads of lactic acid to build up in your muscles and that's awful! Plus, you'll feel your throat slowly close about you and silence any voice you may have; no hand will move when you attempt to wave it because there's no oxygen in your body to allow it. You're going to suffer, potentially considerably.
When you trip because your mind is altered with chemicals, it's like looking at life through a different pair of glasses; hearing through a filter and so-on. But if you've ever seen that film, '2001: A Space Odyssey', when HAL's mind is being killed off? Well, I expect it's a lot like that: you'll lose higher functions and your brain will continue with thought even though your body will be unable to follow its commands to "move, move, move I beg of you!" and then your mind will fall away, and I expect you'll be left barely capable of understanding the fact that you're dying before you're dead.
Good luck with a note that includes all of the "How could I have done things differently to save you?" But, really, your post shows some concern for the living, even though you may deny it if you want: after all, leaving behind a note is akin to saying "I did this, I know that it was wrong and I'm attempting to justify it with this piece of paper."
Can you?
Think long and hard about it.
This is a place where we promote "harm reduction" and posting here, stating that you're going to die and it's impossible for anyone to stop you, is just cruel to the rest of us; we want to help you, so tell us how to help you and suicide may not even be necessary. Do you need love? Are you lonely? Would you like to be loved? Would you like to be made afraid of death? Of the two, if those are your only choices, you must be so VERY afraid of life, to turn to death...
If you succeed and die, well, good for you.
If you fail and become a vegetable barely able to communicate anything other than the fact that you now have lost control over your bladder and bowels, well, that's not going to be good at all.
Corpses, regardless of how they came to become corpses, never look good or "pretty".
I've escaped death so many times that I should be giving him High Fives when I pass, and death looms over me like a dark and foreboding shadow of one's inevitable demise, however, I escaped because I chose to survive. I want to meet you: someone with the cojones to come onto this board, proclaim that they're incapable of being found, and unable to be stopped, entirely anonymously; I would relish the opportunity to speak with you privately, for it fascinates me. Your hubris and desperation and pain and all of it--I just might fall for you...
Drop me a PM and I'll give you a decent and achievable list of things to do from now until you change your mind because life's actually more fun and worth more than just dying.
We're not wrong...
We've all lost someone dear and close and irreplaceable and yet we're telling you that we want to help; to understand; to love and cherish you as a real person, rather than discarding you like garbage. You're not garbage and you're important, perhaps even unique... especially with the size of your virtual balls. %)
Do send me a message.
If you've time, give me a massage before you go for it!
Really, you can't complain since you're "dead set" on doing it anyway!
So, let's all lament this and then close it because it's perverse.
It spits in the face of those who've died for us and because of us, and I cannot stand to see but one more die!
Take care of yourself.
-Kerrigan
PS: Since you're dying, I hope you won't mind me including what you've said in a story I'm writing?