Victory Over The Voice (quitting and staying quit)

[attempt4]

Hello HealthyLiving Bluelighters

Due to health reasons, I am now having to give up all substance abuse entirely (give or take the odd smoke).

Now, I enjoy weight training but that only takes 1-2hours every other day. I plan to start running on the days between but again, won't take up that much of my time and may not totally quash any cravings...

I was just wondering, of those with experience in this field, how you get elude the sweet seductive voice of temptation and any methods you feel are effective in getting over this?

I have a goal set with regards to not having the slightest care about intoxication and having grown past that to the point where I am fully in control of my life without the need to ingest anxiety-killing herbs.
My plan is to continue with frequent exercise, clean diet, cold showers, meditation but could do with some additional supplementary activities/things, perhaps hobbies or even supplements that may rid cravings?
Anything is appreciated.

Thank you

 

[addictivepersona]

Edited your title for clarification--If you'd like it to say anything else, let me know. :)

Aside from just keeping busy and getting in with friends who have interests outside of getting high, I really don't have any suggestions. Whenever I would get a craving for a drug when I first quit, I'd find something else to do. I also avoided situational "triggers" for cravings--My biggie was watching movies as I used to watch movies while smoking pot every morning after work. I didn't watch movies for maybe six months.

 

[attempt4]

This morning I woke up with the usual anxiety and was feeling particularly depressed.
I havent given up my Kratom yet....so I had my morning dose as per usual and now I feel confident, chatty, not depressed and not anxious in the slightest. I basically feel like I can be part of the world like everyone else seems to with ease.
So it's days like this I think "Maybe I won't give up...."

God, it's so hard. When did it get to this? I am in two minds...

I could go back to suffering anxiety daily and depression but have the pride to admit that I don't rely on anything.
Or
I could continue to take it and be happy in my day to day life.

 

[modern buddha]

^ Kratom is not that particularly bad for you, though. It's much, much better to have things like that occasionally.

However, if you're trying to resist those temptations (like getting up and hitting something to wake you up), try waking up and stretching right away. It helps your body to relax and your mind to feel the muscles stretching. Then hop in the shower.

Keep yourself away from those temptations and you should be good to go. You seem to have a lot of inner desire to quit.

 

[attempt4]

Well, I'm aware of the many health benefits of Kratom and have relied on it for 4 years every single day and my life has been better since taking it, however I have so little self-control and end up doing it all day every day and this seizure I had the other night was after having a particularly large amount of Kratom.
It's hard to say whether it would have happened if I hadn't ingested any Kratom, but I feel it had something to do with it.

The main thing is I don't want to have to rely on something to get me through the day as I don't feel in control of my life, I spent ridiculous amounts of money on it and it's not viable as I am soon to be travelling all over the world.

With me, it's either all or nothing and I feel, as I have now hit 21, it's time to try and get a grip on my life.

I'm literally in 2 minds.

Thanks for taking the time to respond though, means alot.

 

[Legerity]

If you goals is to not have the slightest care about intoxication then removing the cause of your substance use would be very helpful.

You mention that you use Kratom to cope with anxiety and depression. Have you tried other methods? Things like therapy can take a long time and bring up painful emotions but most long-term solutions require some initial effort. Meditation is great I'm glad to hear that you're using that as a tool.

In my experience, pride in being sober has not been enough of a motivator to keep it up in the long-term. Maybe it will be different for you. But while I was "sober", the initial newness and excitement of it wore of and it just became the norm.

Not all treatment approaches serve the same purpose. Some are healthier forms of distractions, whereas others get to the root of the issue. Both can be helpful but in for the long-term the less you need any form of distraction, the less rewarding drug use will be.

Good luck

 

[TriputoryHeadicine]

Well, I'm aware of the many health benefits of Kratom and have relied on it for 4 years every single day and my life has been better since taking it, however I have so little self-control and end up doing it all day every day and this seizure I had the other night was after having a particularly large amount of Kratom.
It's hard to say whether it would have happened if I hadn't ingested any Kratom, but I feel it had something to do with it.

The main thing is I don't want to have to rely on something to get me through the day as I don't feel in control of my life, I spent ridiculous amounts of money on it and it's not viable as I am soon to be travelling all over the world.

With me, it's either all or nothing and I feel, as I have now hit 21, it's time to try and get a grip on my life.

I'm literally in 2 minds.

Thanks for taking the time to respond though, means alot.

I like that phrase, "In two minds"...

Describes my thought patterns as well : )

I'm also 21, due to travel the world soon, and still relying on kratom. I'm currently detoxing from Bupe with kratom, about to take my first tome dose shortly (was on kratom the last 6 months). After 1 month on Kratom, and the buprenorphine cleared from my system, I'm going to detox with many potent herbs.

Here is my detox recipe:

Morning: Green Tea, Kava Kava shake, Ashwagandha Whole root (blended with water, filtered), Ginseng Whole Root chewed.

Afternoon: B vitamins and Picamilon, in addition to a combination of the morning doses.

Evening: Kava, Ashwagandha, Melatonin.

Daily activities will include yoga, walking, swimming, and eventually, weight training.

Feel free to stock up on these ingrediants (I'm an herbalist and these are some of my faves, but feel free to add to the list), and Join Me!!! :D

P.S. Ayahuasca will be used as needed weekly, in addition to just the B. Caapi vine for withdrawls.

 

[foxyloxy55]

Continuing with regular exercise should have a huge impact on your anxiety. Also, I wouldn't feel so guilty with the all or nothing mentality. In my opinion, getting healthy is a journey, and if you are taking steps (and it sounds like you have taken giant steps) in the right direction, you are doing way better than many others. Even my friends who never touched a drug in their life don't know much about healthy diet and exercise and never really try and make any changes. Always forgive your mistakes and keep going forward. It sounds like you are doing great. Congrats!

 

[attempt4]

Thanks very much.

Ok today I tried to only have one dose but I had my one morning dose. Then hit the weights hard, continued with my healthy diet (my diet is very clean) but ended up having 2 doses tonight and feeling so, so guilty and quite depressed about it. Really down about it actually, that I couldn't even exercise the self-control to go a whole night without.
I started getting really anxious. That's why I had it...I was just sitting here on the computer and so, so anxious about nothing. I hate being like this.
Even when my oldest friend called, I was too anxious to speak to him - and thats what i was like before i started self-medicating with kratom so now i'm wondering whether I really want to stop.

One of the worst parts is I try to explain to him how I feel and he jst says "Well jst stop being nervous, there's nothing to be anxious about. Just relax." and tries to make out it's a really novel problem that I am fully in control of.
He has had a very relaxed, privileged life and thus doesn't comprehend when or why anybody is ever depressed or anxious and it makes me feel really shit.

Stupid little petty rant, sorry. I jst wish I could be as laid back as I see so many around me.

Motivate me to get sober and try to beat this, please. How do you do it?

 

[modern buddha]

I don't do it. It's still there. However, being mindful of WHY and HOW you're anxious might help. What exactly is the issue that you're trying to resolve? "Nothing" sounds like you get anxious about being alone or having too much space.

Do you have any pets? Siblings? What is your current living situation?

 

[attempt4]

Firstly, I would like to thank you Simply Live for taking the time to respond. It is much appreciated. I would very much appreciate any and all other views and opinions and instructions because this is eating me alive.

To answer your Q's:
I have a dog that I love more than anything on this planet.
I live with my mother and her husband, with whom my relationship can only politely be described as 'unstable', for several reasons.
I have an older brother who lives miles away and at 16 found out through rather horrible circumstances that he is in fact not actually my brother.

I get anxious during everything and not always about anything specific.
However that's not to say I don't get anxious about anything specific, because I do get horrendously anxious about most forms of social interaction, from getting the bus into the city centre to even hanging out at friend's houses or even walking up to the local small cornershop or taking the dog out for a walk.

The exact issue I am trying to resolve, is the inability to socially interact without constantly fending off panic attacks and anxiety to the point where it's holding me back from advancing in life. I can't bare attending work or even going to my closest friend of many years' house without mentally crippling anxiety.

I desperately want to be able to simply step out the house without feeling the need for anxiety-quashing herbs, or go into town for shopping or meet up with friends or meet new people without this nerve-ridden anxiety. My closest friends seem to be able to just go out and about, meet new folk, go to job interviews, do anything with no nerves at all, in fact...they excel in and enjoy these situations.
I understand anxiety about social interaction is commonplace, but it doesn't detract from the severity of the condition and how debilitating it can be sometimes. Couple this with the fact that I can experience extreme anxiety simply when sitting here watching TV alone or something, then it seems I'm faced with tremendous turmoil which is why I reach out to you, dear reader.
Anybody.
Did you get over it? How did you get over it? Were you once like this and can offer some inspirational, healing light through this never-ending subterranean abyss where I reside?
Thanks in advance.

 

[modern buddha]

Why don't you take your dog with you when you go to do these things (minus public indoor activities with friends)? Does he/she help you cope with those times when you don't know how you're going to survive?

Also, maybe you can keep things in the outdoors when you hang out with friends? I know I personally feel more comfort when I am not in someone's house, but outside in the open. There is more room and I don't feel claustrophobic or gasping for space. Getting outside has done wonders for me. I even feel strange and get headaches if I do not get "fresh air" by going outside every day.

I have never been in your situation before, but I can imagine the immense feelings of anxiety. Take your comfort with you when possible and when not possible, keep a reminder of mindfulness when you feel anxiety taking shape inside of you. With mindfulness, you can help yourself see the world for what it is; it's just a series of actions in which you take part. A dance, almost. Do you wish to dance, or would you like to stand on the side? There are people for each duty, there must be.

I cannot tell you what to do, but my advice is mindfulness. Become mindful of your world. Teach yourself that love is in the earth, but you haven't been able to feel it other than in your dog. And keep your dog with you, either physically or in spirit. At least for the time being.

Also, I suggest seeing a psychologist, but you might not be ready for that. It's a little strange at first, until you get to know the person better.

 

[ProducedRaw]

The all or nothing mentality is the culprit you're looking for. Successful people don't get to where they are because they decide to sprint at 30mph one day, their success is due to their consistency. It's far more effective to approach your issue as if it were a marathon, so pace yourself. Tackle one issue at a time and nothing else. It will be more effective to deal with each substance separately. It will take roughly three weeks to change each habit. Don't be upset if you fail initially, it happens, just keep taking stabs at it. After the habit has been changed, it will be just as difficult to go back - habit is a double edged sword.

It might also be worth re-evaluating your goal. By focusing on not being intoxicated, you are, in fact, focusing on intoxication. Where you're going is how you'll get there. The way out is to find something worth living for and concentrating completely on that.

Also, the following supplements have been extremely useful to me for staying calm and motivated; 5-HTP, Magnesium and Lecithin.

Best of luck.