sad bastard
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2016
- Messages
- 1
(note: this is my first post on bdd. i did all the required pre-post reading, but my reading comprehension is not always stellar so i might still fuck something up. don't hesitate to yell at me if that happens.)
so. i have severe mental health issues (for which i am heavily medicated and therapized but continue to suffer from regardless) and i find self-medicating with alcohol (sometimes in addition to prescription benzos) in times of duress to be immensely helpful in the short term. in the long term, well. i know i'm predisposed to addiction, and that i've already developed an emotional dependence on benzos and alcohol, but i'm not going to worry about that right now.
however, i'm underage and, needless to say, that unfortunate little fact makes getting alcohol difficult. i'm something of a recluse, so i don't have older friends to buy booze for me, and my mother caught me drinking vodka from her personal stash a while ago so that's off the table. she lets me have one (1) beer more or less daily, though, which is great, but it's not enough. i've been desperate enough to drink mouthwash on a number of occasions, but doing so fucks up my guts real good and as such i'd like to avoid it in the future because i dont need fucked up guts to worry about right now on top of everything else.
enter vanilla extract. it's alcoholic, it's readily available, and it's incredibly tempting. before i start guzzling it, though, i wanna know if it's dangerous in any way. i mean, i know it's probably not great for me-- i'm pretty stupid, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out that drinking shit not meant for drinking isn't a super good idea-- but if it's not going to make me go blind or brain dead or anything, i'm game.
so, yeah. advice? also, sorry this post is dumb and long. i'm bad at this.
so. i have severe mental health issues (for which i am heavily medicated and therapized but continue to suffer from regardless) and i find self-medicating with alcohol (sometimes in addition to prescription benzos) in times of duress to be immensely helpful in the short term. in the long term, well. i know i'm predisposed to addiction, and that i've already developed an emotional dependence on benzos and alcohol, but i'm not going to worry about that right now.
however, i'm underage and, needless to say, that unfortunate little fact makes getting alcohol difficult. i'm something of a recluse, so i don't have older friends to buy booze for me, and my mother caught me drinking vodka from her personal stash a while ago so that's off the table. she lets me have one (1) beer more or less daily, though, which is great, but it's not enough. i've been desperate enough to drink mouthwash on a number of occasions, but doing so fucks up my guts real good and as such i'd like to avoid it in the future because i dont need fucked up guts to worry about right now on top of everything else.
enter vanilla extract. it's alcoholic, it's readily available, and it's incredibly tempting. before i start guzzling it, though, i wanna know if it's dangerous in any way. i mean, i know it's probably not great for me-- i'm pretty stupid, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out that drinking shit not meant for drinking isn't a super good idea-- but if it's not going to make me go blind or brain dead or anything, i'm game.
so, yeah. advice? also, sorry this post is dumb and long. i'm bad at this.