Joey
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2015
- Messages
- 6,801
How many of you are primarily teetering the edge to resolve conflicts in situational stress, anger, sadness, etc. I’m aiming more at users who aren’t in physical dependence. This can be how it starts but it gets a bit more complicated to give just these reasons when you’re in the dependence stage. In my opinion.
Being dependant majorly contributes to these feelings in and of itself and so it’s more a chronic inside job than just situational. Sometimes people with physical addictions will blow up their use for a stretch due to a stressor though. That’s on the table.
What’s your focus when you go out of the way to either take the edge off of get bombed - with a sudden use or increase in use?
A ton of people will get a free pass e.g. The dog died and he’s having some drinks. If you’re with an alcoholic history though it’s ‘The dog died and he’s using it as an excuse to relapse’ which is pretty off kilter a thing to say about someone or make them believe about themselves. Either way the situation is exactly the same.
How do you feel about that? Keep playing the blame game? Take it easy on the guy or yourself?
I’m a staunch harm reduction advocate against abstinence only theologies. I support abstinence, but not the judgement of it. You either do it or you don’t. How you stigmatize it, how much care, what wisdoms you take on, why, etc, is more personal than any one program can ever hope to reach.
I’ve lost a lot, but I do not at this stage of the game or any stage make absolutions (promises) or kid myself that I genuinely enjoy getting bombed sometimes regardless of my specific consequence and history. Learning to live with it has boosted my self esteem and management of most things overall. With some major issues still presenting. It’s going to be okay, no matter what. I will deal with things the best I can.
I break my own rules all the time depending how I feel. I think most people do this, at least in their minds. It’s incredible how mind over matter can turn a logic on its head. I’m at a ‘love / hate’ stage and I know which one I prefer. So what’s the problem?
It depends. There are so many obvious upsides to maintaining a sober mind, whether you can do that with a substance or you can’t or shouldn’t for your current problem issues is up to you.
I’m buying some alcohol after a two month hospital stay in a few days most likely. Very tough sell, but I’m not a sales man and I’m already sold. I’m very upset with a lot of things, and only I know what I can handle or not. I’m learning to be very discreet regarding the social system and anyone who may be able to help a situation about disclosing these things.
I did this honesty is policy thing for a long long time but it’s done. This is just for me and a select group to share.
So how do you feel about that. Do you paint me as a hiding my addiction, relapsing, not dealing properly, kidding myself as in denial, etc? Or do I get to say if I have a problem here and keep something in a compartment if I like?
I want people to know that I’ve found a ton of solace in challenging the old conventions. A lot of struggle as well. I don’t identify addict and I despise the word relapse in most of its uses now. There’s a spin on the harm reduction model and a great deal of talk about stigma which has greatly resolved any feelings of guilt for making these decisions as I go. I don’t always feel this way, but ultimate I always come back to this and keep on the path.
Anyone and everyone can treat themselves with dignity and as deserving of respect in their choices. So long as you’re not hurting someone else too bad, and your self harm isn’t loaded to a death wish than the surface level of having a few drinks or whatever it is should be the end of it. When do we get our power of choice back from a long history powerlessness and intervention to just wanting the ‘best’ or perfection in discontinuing any and all use?
I’ve seen people die over the guilt and shame way more than by getting a handle and toning down on all this noise that happens.
Being dependant majorly contributes to these feelings in and of itself and so it’s more a chronic inside job than just situational. Sometimes people with physical addictions will blow up their use for a stretch due to a stressor though. That’s on the table.
What’s your focus when you go out of the way to either take the edge off of get bombed - with a sudden use or increase in use?
A ton of people will get a free pass e.g. The dog died and he’s having some drinks. If you’re with an alcoholic history though it’s ‘The dog died and he’s using it as an excuse to relapse’ which is pretty off kilter a thing to say about someone or make them believe about themselves. Either way the situation is exactly the same.
How do you feel about that? Keep playing the blame game? Take it easy on the guy or yourself?
I’m a staunch harm reduction advocate against abstinence only theologies. I support abstinence, but not the judgement of it. You either do it or you don’t. How you stigmatize it, how much care, what wisdoms you take on, why, etc, is more personal than any one program can ever hope to reach.
I’ve lost a lot, but I do not at this stage of the game or any stage make absolutions (promises) or kid myself that I genuinely enjoy getting bombed sometimes regardless of my specific consequence and history. Learning to live with it has boosted my self esteem and management of most things overall. With some major issues still presenting. It’s going to be okay, no matter what. I will deal with things the best I can.
I break my own rules all the time depending how I feel. I think most people do this, at least in their minds. It’s incredible how mind over matter can turn a logic on its head. I’m at a ‘love / hate’ stage and I know which one I prefer. So what’s the problem?
It depends. There are so many obvious upsides to maintaining a sober mind, whether you can do that with a substance or you can’t or shouldn’t for your current problem issues is up to you.
I’m buying some alcohol after a two month hospital stay in a few days most likely. Very tough sell, but I’m not a sales man and I’m already sold. I’m very upset with a lot of things, and only I know what I can handle or not. I’m learning to be very discreet regarding the social system and anyone who may be able to help a situation about disclosing these things.
I did this honesty is policy thing for a long long time but it’s done. This is just for me and a select group to share.
So how do you feel about that. Do you paint me as a hiding my addiction, relapsing, not dealing properly, kidding myself as in denial, etc? Or do I get to say if I have a problem here and keep something in a compartment if I like?
I want people to know that I’ve found a ton of solace in challenging the old conventions. A lot of struggle as well. I don’t identify addict and I despise the word relapse in most of its uses now. There’s a spin on the harm reduction model and a great deal of talk about stigma which has greatly resolved any feelings of guilt for making these decisions as I go. I don’t always feel this way, but ultimate I always come back to this and keep on the path.
Anyone and everyone can treat themselves with dignity and as deserving of respect in their choices. So long as you’re not hurting someone else too bad, and your self harm isn’t loaded to a death wish than the surface level of having a few drinks or whatever it is should be the end of it. When do we get our power of choice back from a long history powerlessness and intervention to just wanting the ‘best’ or perfection in discontinuing any and all use?
I’ve seen people die over the guilt and shame way more than by getting a handle and toning down on all this noise that happens.
