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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Urgent Advise Needed for boyfriend on Meth

He's a Methamphetamine addict. His problem should resolve on their own promptly following cessation of Methamphetamine use. Aside from that, there's not much we can do to help you. I know you probably don't want it, but my advice would be to tell him to cut the shit or get the fuck out. A Meth binge is not casual drug use. It completely and entirely disrupts normal life and functioning once it reaches this stage. What he's doing to you is totally unfair, as he says "Hold on for just a minute" and then smokes Meth for days on end while you nervously wait, hope and pray for things to be normal again.

It's bad enough that you're asking complete strangers for support, which is not something most people want to do. The good news is that he doesn't need a detox so long as the only substance he's using is Meth, however, if he ends up in another state of psychosis, hospitallization could be unavoidable. It's so beyond your responsiblity to handle this it's not even funny. Either way, I believe there's going to be a confrontation, so if he's a violent guy at all, you might want to bring back up.
 
IWontGiveUpHope, I urge you to read and then twice reread the advice Keif' has provided you, and then take some time to really think about what YOU want out of life. You might really care for this guy, but all the love in the world won't touch the surface of fixing his meth addiction. Sadly, you cannot help anyone who doesn't want to help him or herself. While you may not be the one using drugs, you are part of the addiction by way of enabling him to continue on without consequence.

Honestly, take a good hard look at the reality of this situation, and compare that to how you envision yourself in the future. I know this wasn't what you were asking for, but maybe it's time you consider loving him from a distance to see where that takes you. You've given your best and need to ask yourself what you're actually getting out of this besides stress and heartache. As it stands, you're putting yourself at risk in so very many ways, and there remains a real possibility that one screw up may find you having to give up on your hopes both inside and outside the relationship. Regardless, I wish you the best in navigating this difficult situation.
 
Id get him thrown in jail. Im sure a lot of ppl will disagree with this but imo it would be the best thing for all involved.
 
He needs professional help at this point. Like others have said, he's going to have to want to help himself before either of you are even safe.
 
And why when he stops he eats so much, sleeps 24/7 and has no emotions what so ever? He tells me he feels nothing. The person i once knew is gone ever since the first episode of hearing voices.
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It's completely normal for somebody who has been abusing stimulants to sleep almost 24/7 and eat lots of food when they suddenly stop using.

If they do not use again then after a few days of constantly sleeping/eating they will slowly start to return to normal. The body and mind slowly starts to heal.

It's no surprise he feels emotionless during this time. Things would go back to normal eventually if he completely stopped using. He won't suddenly snap back to normal over night but he will gradually return to normal day by day assuming he stops completely.

Unfortunately, he is heavily in the grips of addiction. Like everyone else has said, he needs to want to stop. If that isn't the case, you should probably distance yourself. If he continues abusing meth like he has been then things will only get worse... Likely much worse.
 
^It's a pretty common cycle actually. Even with the Methamphetamine in his sytstem, there's eventually going to be a terminus to the ride, where he will either have to replenish himself or die. It's pretty normal also to have immense regret, depression and axiety for all of the decisions he made while on this ride and others. At this point, he might be so totally fucking drained that he can't even dial the number for a pick me up, so he chooses to sleep.

Fast forward a few days, once he's a little more back to normal, with some food/sleep on board and he'll be ready for another ride. I wouldn't recommend beating down on the guy when he's recovering. I would save that talk for when he's normal and more coherent. Then you can make it clear that all's in the past, but if he goes on another binge there will be consequences.
 
It's really difficult dealing with a loved one's substance abuse. Don't put yourself down because you did nothing wrong. Addicts can be counseled, reasoned with, beaten, prayed for, threatened, locked up, etc. But they will not stop their addiction until they want to. I had endured an abusive marriage with my ex who was a violent alcoholic. It wasn't until after my son was born did I find the strength to leave and that was so hard to do. It's good that you're reaching out for help. I'm going to move this to the Dark Side. In the meantime, I found this thread for you:

http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/687126-Support-For-Those-Affected-by-the-Addiction-of-Others
 
Your life is in your hands right now and as hard as it will be to walk away from him completely, that is what you are going to have to consider. No one can truly be used without their consent once they see through manipulation and you have seen through his. Whether all his problems are the meth or mental illness beneath the meth use, it really doesn't matter for you. What matters for you is leading a healthy life that fosters healthy relationships. You have a hard choice to make emotionally but a very obvious choice rationally. Right now it is in your best interest to listen to your mind over your heart--this does not mean judging your boyfriend harshly or demonizing him; you can break up with someone with compassion for their struggles. As difficult as it may seem in anticipation, I think you will feel such relief when you have stepped outside of the craziness that you will regain your strength pretty quickly.
 
I think that's a sign that it's time to go. Youll come out of everything a much stronger person.

Good luck <3
 
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