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Unsure about life direction

malakaix

malakaix

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 12, 2008
Messages
3,054
I need some advice.

I'm 23 years old and at this point in my life i still am not sure what i want to do career/purpose wise; i am finally been honest with myself that this is something that i NEED to address and can no longer ignore, the problem is i am so incredibly good at justifying to myself different ways of avoiding this.

I finished school in Year 11, i left to go do an electro-technology course with relation to computer maintenance, at this age i was sure i wanted to work with computers in some manner but i had virtually no life experience and quickly found out that I.T as much as enjoy using computers and fixing/tweaking them for my own personal preference i have no desire to do this as a career. So after i finished the 6 month course and received my certificate i decided i needed to experience life before i can make an informed decision on what i wish to pursue.

From 2008-2012 i've worked multiple jobs, mostly in the field of general labor because it's simple shitty work and the wages are high. In this time i've used the savings from these jobs to travel the world.. I just came back from 8 month's on the road traveling through Europe, the idea behind this was to find inspiration for what it is i want to pursue in life. Although i still cant say for sure what i want to do.. i did realize what i enjoyed, and that was moving around, socializing with people, feeling needed, been helpful.. My previous jobs have been soul-crushing in the sense that its repetitive work where you cant really socialize/talk and where your practically treated like a monkey; since the work itself is very basic physical labor.

I've been back home for just over a week now.. and this question is now more prevalent then ever. I cant imagine studying something right now, im just not feeling in that 'zone' where i'm been driven to establish a sense of direction at this point, especially when i dont even know what i want to do!

I am honestly considering going back to my old job, or a similar one.. working there for 6-7 months and going back over to Europe and just work and drift for an undetermined amount of time, i have a passport to work in the union it's just a question of finding work.. which as i know is very difficult right now with the economy; but since i made some friends last time i was over there.. they may be-able to help me out. I feel like i got a taste of what it might be like to work in a hospitality scenario and i want to explore that option in an entirely different environment.. I really enjoyed it over there and would like to experience living over there for a while.. plus i need a change of scenery from living in my hometown all my life.

There is a burning desire in me to make contacts, socialize and establish connections right now.

Am i been irresponsible about this? I have a feeling my focus needs to be on people.. This is HUGE for me because up until now ive not had the slightest hint of what i might want to do.. and now the possibility of work involving helping/interaction with people is showing up. Which opens up the option of working in hostels or bar work to get me by.

Again i appreciate any advice because like i mentioned earlier in my post, i can talk myself into or out of anything, and convince myself that it was the right decision even if it was clearly not.
 
If you think you can get a job over there, and it's somewhere you'd rather be, and something you'd rather do - then go for it! You're only 23 - you can do whatever you want. If things don't work out, you can come back and get one of those general labour jobs that you hate, as a backup.

If you're interesting in helping people, do some more research into some jobs that you may enjoy, and maybe get some education while you're working.
 
Thanks llama112 :) I appreciate the encouragement!

Ive looked into bar course's here that teach the practical skills of bar-tendering which may be an added bonus on a resume, should i look for that work over there. Its strange how many people i hear tell me that im still young, yet pressed with the social expectations of knowing what you want to pursue and to go into study at an early age is an added element of stress and pressure to make a decision now. But your right.. i do have time and it takes time for some people to develop a sense of what they want to do in life.

I guess i compare myself to too many people my age which seem to have an idea or are semi-established in a career. I think im going to run with this.. the possibility to make more contacts overseas professionally and socially is too alluring to pass up.
 
malakaix said:
There is a burning desire in me to make contacts, socialize and establish connections right now.

Am i been irresponsible about this?
Click to expand...

I dont know ~ are you?!?
=D

Here is an article on Calculated Courage / Risk taking ::

"The U.S. senator and onetime prisoner of war John McCain has defined courage as a brief, singular occurrence: “that rare moment of unity between conscience, fear, and action, when something deep within us strikes the flint of love, of honor, of duty, to make the spark that fires our resolve.” This definition conjures up an image of the lone hero who—instinctively, spontaneously, and against all odds—suddenly takes charge and stands up for virtue."
source
 
^ nice quote. related quote:
goethe said:
Until one is committed there is hesitancy, a chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.

Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans; that the moment that one definitely commit oneself, then providence moves, too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.

A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favour all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would come his way.

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it!

Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now!
Click to expand...
malakaix, consider, also, that ones life-direction isn't (necessarily) something that's already defined and is waiting to be discovered.

it's something over which you have complete control and can be crafted in any way you choose. the choosing is the hard part and, while it sounds trite to say it, you won't find the answer to that question without looking inward.

alasdair
 
If you don't like what your doing in life, do something else. Never mind worrying overly much about what you should be doing, and just do more or less as you please. By doing as you please things have a way of working out for the best all by themselves, because deep down thats what you want and by doing what you want, you allow your own compass to guide you.

And you enjoy the ride a whole lot more too.
 
^
talkingdog.jpg
 
That burning desire you have is what every rich man has talked about saying they owed there success to it.
Ya know the burning desire to socialize and make connections? maybe even internship.

But... even though you have that in you I think your should check out the following link from an old wise who has lived life
and compare it to young, ambitious me.

Alan Watts:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=siu6JYqOZ0g
 
^i ran my own computer repair business for a couple months - fucking awful idea. The people you deal with will make you want to shoot yourself. I made money but i would never do it again, people can be such assholes especially when they have no idea what they are talking about.

if you like computers and electronics consider some engineering programs, or since you like to make social connections i think you'd be a great candidate for a sales/business type job/education. Those fields have high demand for people like you. I am pretty much the opposite and would prefer to avoid people, which often fucks me over, so be thankful you have that desire because many of us do not. Those kinds of skills will take you far in life, just take a leap of faith on something and go for it, fuck it if it doesn't work out, you can always take another leap.
 
I'd definitely recommend trying to get into bartending, it's basically everything you described! I've been bartending for a few years now, and it's great for making contacts and meeting new people. You make good money, and there are bars all over the world, making finding a job in new places easier if you get some experience under your belt. Also, in Europe bartenders get paid good livable wages (as opposed to mainly making tips in the US).

Good luck with whatever you end up deciding, but remember, you are still young! Plenty of chances to change what you're doing still
 
I'm in the same boat but I'm almost 26 and have been a heroin addict for a long time so I'm totally behind. I'm pretty sure I want to make documentaries or photo journalist. So I can travel and be creative.
 
Euphio said:
I'd definitely recommend trying to get into bartending, it's basically everything you described! I've been bartending for a few years now, and it's great for making contacts and meeting new people. You make good money, and there are bars all over the world, making finding a job in new places easier if you get some experience under your belt. Also, in Europe bartenders get paid good livable wages (as opposed to mainly making tips in the US).
Click to expand...

Thanks man.

I applied to do a bar course here next month, and i have a friend who manages a couple of venues i might be-able to get some volunteer work for some experience. I made the decision to go back to Europe in July and i've been working long hours to make that happen; there's nothing certain about this plan.. but i guess life isn't certain. I just need to get back out into the world..

Thanks alasdair for that quote; coming back and reading that again a few months after making this thread has given me fresh perspective.
 
the best thing i remember reading on this site was

"try shit and try shit and try shit until you find something that you like"

^ pretty much what i'm doing. i have no idea what i want to do
 
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