Hey guys, so this weekend I tried cocaine for my first time despite MONTHS of me resisting it. For some background, I was raised in a very anti drug household, but as I began to smoke I realized it was more that my parents didn't want me getting laced shit than smoking weed, in addition to that, I've had some moderate depersonalization and derealization since July (smoked wayyyy too much after a TB). Anyways, since trying cocaine I've felt a little "scummy", if you will. Not disgusting or nasty, but kind of like a scumbag. I feel rather guilty, to put it simply. In addition to that, I've been a lot more irritable lately. Although it is a tough time of year (big workload with midterms next week), I still feel anxious that I caused some permanent damage to myself that night, or that I fried my brain. I think the reason that I'm feeling all this is just a Placebo, but from what I've felt, DP amplifies shit like that so it's hard to tell. Obviously you guys can't tell me if I have brain damage or not, and I've asked this question a million times to a million different people, but I'll ask it again; with my drug use would brain damage be probable? I've smoked weed for about a year give or take a month total, drank for about sixth months (not often, just when I started, I've probably drank on average about a half liter a month), shrooms once, acid once, Various benzodiazepines a handful of times, lean twice, and now Coke once (only one line). Jeez now that I typed that out it seems like a shit ton haha. Anyways, is this difference most likely a placebo with my DP/DR, or have I done any permanent damage? Sorry for such a long post and thank you so much for reading.
