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Trauma weeks after acid trip

T

truchainz39

Greenlighter
Joined
May 8, 2016
Messages
7
pretty much one night about a month ago. Im with a friend and I decided to take 1 hit of acid. I've taken acid 15 times before and all have been good trips. But that day was also the first day i didn't feel in the right "mindset" to do lsd but I did it anyway. Before this Trip I have never suffered depression just a high amount of anxiety. At first It was pretty fun. Then towards the end of the night I was talking with my friend and his girlfriend and I just assumed they were making fun of me. Usually I dont care what people think but being in this psychedelic mindset I took it to HARD offense. I didn't confront them like i should and Just stayed in sadness the rest of the night with just tons of anxiety running through me and I just had to fall asleep, and I did fast. The morning after right when I wake up I feel the WORST feeling I have ever felt before.(Later found out it was depression). I instantly started to cry and couldn't stop thinking about myself. I havent been the same since.

This was also the time my friend group started falling apart. The 2 weeks after my trip were also the 2 worst weeks of my entire life. During those 2 weeks I experienced my first signs of PTSD. I have never felt depression before and now I started experience it for my first time. I kept on feeling the same anixety and horrible thoughts that happend the same night of my acid trip. I suffered many anxiety/panic attacks and had to go get help. My friends were also telling me I was changing negatively. I went to my psychiatrists and told her everything that has been going on and she no doubt knew it was some sort of PTSD. Knowing this did help a lot cause it cleared my question of if im going crazy which i was not. She prescribed me Zoloft (setraline) 50mg and ive been taking it for a week so far.(going up to 100mg next week) It has been making a decent difference so far. But due to it being an SSRI its gonna be another 3 weeks till it takes full effect. I still suffer anxiety/panic attacks and the pill has made them from major to minor.


I have found comfort and help with my depression and anxiety with some things lately. I have stopped all weed,caffeine,and nicotine usage and has made some benefits. I have found some comfort through my medicine. But the most comfort is def from my family and friends. They have made me from suicidal to a fighter. and have made my depression,anxiety,PTSD a lot better. But still today I still suffer anxiety attacks and flashbacks from the same night. I have found comfort but im not "COMFORTABLE". i still feel sadness and im not the same person i Used to be. I can't be around the friend that i thought was making fun of me and i can't be in the same room i had my trip in. that is why im here asking you guys for help.

(I know I will eventually get better soon, just soon isn't "soon" enough. Havent finish3rd a school day in weeks.)
 
I am not a doctor but for what it's worth:

I got rocked by an acid trip last New Years that took a long time to integrate. Like you I fell into a bout of depression and became a recluse.

All I want to stress here is this: You labeled yourself with a lot of conditions which you may or may not truly have. As hard as it is you should face them head on instead of relying on a pill, although counseling is good if you're the type that enjoys talking things out with a doctor. I just want to warn you that a lot of them will prescribe things because it's a "quick fix", but it doesn't solve the underlying issues. Perhaps you do need zoloft now but I encourage you to attempt to get off of it as soon as you can. If I were you I would talk with my doctor and explain that I don't want to be dependent on a pill.

As for how to fix this the only advice I can give you is to wait it out. As time goes by you'll start to feel better and want to become social again. Do some things for yourself....go hiking, go fishing, or go do whatever activity you enjoy the most. It should be something that you do outdoors because sitting around inside contributes to depression a lot. Also, eat well and by that I mean fresh fruit, fresh vegetables, and good meat. Cook your own meals and avoid eating any fast or processed food (at least for breakfast/supper, sometimes you have to compromise at lunch and grab whatever).

If you're not the type to have hobbies and cook you should seriously start trying both. I also suggest a project....anything really. Build a new deck on the house or fix something up that you've been meaning to get to. I personally fix cars and tractors on our property that have fallen into disrepair. If I'm not doing that I'm on top of a barn fixing the tin roofs, or painting a building, or doing anything else that needs to be done. Always plenty of work on a farm...I realize you may not have as many options as me but I'm sure there is something that needs to be worked on around your parents house. Do those little things that you have to do to keep up the property and take pride in your work. These days everyone looks down on manual labor but there isn't much that feels better than seeing your work finished at the end of a hard day. :)

Anyway...you'll get better and you're not going crazy. The LSD just humbled you is all.
 
Thanks for the advice. Today I feel the most normal i have felt in a month. I seem to be getting better everday.
 
I would concur with HeadphonesandLSD. I am a health professional and his advice is sound. Look for a "crossover" point where, having received the benefits of the medication, you feel strong enough to face up to the things that are troubling you. If you can find a skillful counsellor or psychotherapist and explore these issues so much the better. Also work with your psychiatrist to look at a point where you can begin to ween yourself off the medication - it is very easy to become dependent on it and much harder to let go of if you've taken it for some time (ref Robert Whitaker:Anatomy of an Epidemic: Magic Bullets, Psychiatric Drugs, and the Astonishing Rise of Mental Illness in America). The picture that emerges from Whitaker's research is that the only studies that examine withdrawal that are published by the pharmaceutical industry are those carried out after many years of being prescribed these - and the relapse rate is huge. However the neglected landscape is that where people attempt to reduce and stop the medication after a very short time - in effect, after the crisis is over. Although not necessarily easy (good support is crucial) there is a good chance that even people with acute conditions can recover well. This flies in the face of the "you'll be on this medication for life" advice that psychiatrists and other allied health professionals give out often too freely. And of course it suits the Big Pharma.

And it is eminently plausible that HeadphonesandLSD is correct - you just had a shocking experience and haven't necessarily suffered any permanent psychological damage (whereas staying on Zoloft just might!). Be assertive with your doctor and see if they can be convinced to support you with this. It may be a pain in the ass for them as it means more work, but it's very easy for them to move on and leave you with a life-supply of medication when mental health recovery is a real possibility.
 
It makes me smile knowing there are people out there going through the same unique experience I am and got through it
 
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