TDS Too sick to find an existing thread to post this...

[macd610]

Sorry for that. I'm just venting here I guess, and if I did not have a microphone to use I would not be able to post at all. Everything is blurry and shaky and surreal. I have been taking meds for pain management for years now and sometimes I run out early. I cannot remember the last time (if there have even been any) that I have run out of everything all at once.... Actually not totally all at once, but within a few days of each other.
I take 100mcg fentanyl transdermal system q48h, oxycodone ir 75-90mg q4h, and clonazepam 2mg as needed-usually twice a day with the latter.
For those who can relate...I hate when I start shakily ransacking areas that I know are useless, but wishfully hopefully talk myself into thinking to myself....-Wait a minute...I swear i remember putting x in some weird place for some unknown (bc it doesn't exist!) reason...and onceI find "it", whatever it may be, everything will be fine.
Thanks for reading my rambling, I just really felt the need to communicate with people who understand.
Again, I apologize for starting a new thread when I'm sure one exists. I am on the verge of vomiting now and I cannot fathom trying to read and calculate or use any decision making skills at this point.

 

[stardust.hero]

The thing that is concerning me mac is that you're out of your benzodiazapine clonazepam, all of the others will cause very painful physical withdrawals but the benzo if you have a habit of taking 2mgs daily will cause you to go into a very serious withdrawal that will most likely result in seizures. I would recommending going to the hospital immediately.

 

[Cuhpcakes]

Sorry to hear you feel this way.

You have to remember this is your life, not anyone elses. Not even your drugs'.

It's a well known fact withdrawals are mainly consisted of psychological stress, not just dependance.

You're too fucking awesome to feel this way man, you're getting me upset. Please don't get down on yourself, we all make mistakes.

What are some enjoyable moments of your day? What have you accomplished so far?

 

[neversickanymore]

Hey macd.. good to see you.. Im with satr on this one and a little concerned with the abrupt stoppage of the benzo. Any way you can get ahold of some of those. How long do you have before you fill?

 

[macd610]

Thank you all so much for your replies. I did get hold of some clonazepam, and just got my oxycodone filled. The patches, though, will be impossible to get until the first week in January. (I see my M.D. once every 2.5-3 months, and get post-dated rx's.)
I feel I'm very lucky to have gotten some clonazepam. Fairly recently I firmly believe that I was right on the edge of having seizures or something really bad... I could not make sentences and I couldn't get my words to go together. it was really bad. For example, I went to tell my daughter to wash your hands at the kitchen sink and instead I told her to wash her bands at the kitchen fence. Its like random words were replacing what I meant to come out of my mouth and I had no control over it. My throat felt as though it was closing up, I felt paranoid, obviously was not getting any sleep. the scary part was that it would only have gotten worse had I not been able to get my prescription filled.
The point is, I can understand your concerns about seizures and I so appreciate your honesty about it. It's great to have somewhere to come and get things like this off my chest and not be judged, and not have anything sugar coated on either side.
Thank you all again so much. I know that I will be feeling quite a bit better pretty soon, but don't know how much of what I've been going through was due to the patches vs. the opioids or the benzodiazepine. Pretty sad huh?
It's good to see you too, NeverSick
Cat