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Today I am 14 days clean!! :D

X

xburtonchic

Bluelighter
Joined
May 17, 2011
Messages
1,003
No more heroin or Suboxone or anything :D

I went to a detox center, then went to a rehab right on the beach... unfortunately their program was absolute shit and the views were the only thing they had going for them lol so I discharged myself three days ago. But I've stayed clean anyways, I made a lot of friends there, and I have no regrets. As a matter of fact, I feel great. I can't wait to start working again and going back to school and basically just enjoying life SOBER! Tonight I'm going to a meeting on the beach that I found out about while I was in that rehab, going with this guy I met while I was in there... should be good times... the goal is to stay sober 100% this time and I definitely plan on achieving that goal, so. Wish me luck? Damn, I feel good.. I finally have my life back.. if there's one thing I learned in detox and rehab, it's that you can do anything sober. But on drugs, the things you can do are limited. Time to live life to the fullest!! Thanks, Bluelight, for always being there for the ups and downs... aside from a few people, I can honestly say that this site has helped me through a lot. I'm not sure if I'll be sticking around anymore now that I'm sober, I kind of feel I need to be away from all things drug related this early in recovery... so I just wanted to make this post and say thanks, and that I love *(some) of you guys. You know who you are.

<3
xbc
 
Wow, your enthusiasm is so contagious ;) Sounds like you really made a change, which is great. Don't let other people who didn't make it or just turned cynic drag you down. You know what you need best, but you'll have to be patient and forgiving with yourself. It's up to you wether you tell yourself the story in a positive or a negative way if you know what I mean :)
 
I'm really sad to see you go, but I understand how this site could be triggering and I just see it as your time to leave :) I'm optimistic for you though, your enthusiasm and will are great and it really seems like you're taking charge of your life. Be sure to drop by and keep us updated on your recovery though!
 
xbc that is a wonderful "last" post. I send you all of my love and best wishes. You deserve it so much and with the attitude I see shining through your words I know you have all the power in yourself to make it happen.

<3<3
 
Congratulations! You're about to hit the major PAWS soon, I think, so keep focused on your goal, and make sure that you have lots with which to occupy your time.

:)
 
21 days is great xburton! I'm very proud of you, you seriously have no idea. That is an amazing accomplishment and you deserve to be praised for it and you deserve to feel good about yourself for getting this far.
 
xbc I am so happy for you <3 21 days is a major accomplishment! Tell us how much better you are feeling because I know you have to be seeing a difference in yourself by now!

Also don't feel bad I wouldn't be able to get off the light either for any reasonable amount of time :p. Just stick around and stick to reading and posting positive comments.
 
Thank you guys <3 :) I AM proud of myself... I even dumped my boyfriend who was still using because I didn't like the lifestyle that came along with dating him... or his temper...

Anyways I feel a lot better physically, just some residual minor aches. Nothing too major, I can deal with them even without taking Ibuprofen. I will take like .25 of Suboxone if they get too unbearable at night though. Mentally I'm feeling a lot better too except I have waves of really horrible anxiety, usually in the morning, and depression... but I know that's just the PAWS and so I power through it by taking vitamins or something. Just the ritual of taking something in general calms me down a bit, I know it's sick, but hey whatever works... better that it's, like, St. John's Wort or Magnesium or something than a Norco or a needle in my arm though. :)

But I still feel a lot better. Because for once I feel like I can really do this and I'm excited for the future. I can see myself doing so many amazing things if I stay sober, things like getting a degree and doing different sports and travelling... stuff you can never really get around to doing when you're on drugs. It's a nice feeling to have money again too!! That's the best part for me so far hah... the other day I went out and bought a few hundred bucks worth of clothes just because I could. I don't remember when the last time was that I went shopping before that, and it's one of my favorite activities... I can't even imagine how snowboarding again is going to feel. <3

So yep, I do feel a lot better, if I keep reminding myself that whatever's left over is just the PAWS and that it isn't permanent. I can wait for the fog to lift. It's worth it!
 
Xburton-I remember seeing your name in some threads from time to time, and now that you have gone and gotten some relief and healthy tips for working on sobriety, you must know that I am also very happy for you; and wish you the very best. Starting work should definitely help you stay on track. It feels good to have people at your workplace hold faith and trust in you when you're beginning this new chapter in your life.

Best of health and hope to you:)
 
I was almost 2 months sober from oxy tar And norco addiction but went off cold turkey even 2 months later I wanted to kill myself it wasn't getting better. My living situation is sick daily mental abuse the only other choice is being homeless, that'd be WAY better then here but being homeless it's for sure I'm Gona use. I don't know what to do
 
mareseatoats said:
Xburton-I remember seeing your name in some threads from time to time, and now that you have gone and gotten some relief and healthy tips for working on sobriety, you must know that I am also very happy for you; and wish you the very best. Starting work should definitely help you stay on track. It feels good to have people at your workplace hold faith and trust in you when you're beginning this new chapter in your life.

Best of health and hope to you:)
Click to expand...

Thank you so much, that means alot <3 :)

Sepr1 - Don't say that, it's never for sure that you're going to use. Keep in mind that you ALWAYS have a choice. I know it's hard as hell, but you really do. Dope withdrawals never killed anyone... and you have to keep in mind that when you're feeling like shit still and it's two months later, and you're getting horrible cravings and suicidal thoughts, that's just the PAWS talking. And PAWS, just like the acute withdrawals, are only temporary. I know that doesn't help at all when you're in the moment, but it's the best advice I can give. Your living situation sounds really toxic to your chances of recovery, but it also sounds like you really want to quit, so are you sure there are no other options? There are a lot of free government resources available, the Salvation Army is one option if you don't want to be homeless but you don't want to be where you're at now either. Whatever you choose, I wish you the best... feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk to someone :)
 
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